


Baby Rizzles

by Lil_leels



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Absurd denial of feelings, Even with the death, F/F, Friends to Lovers, I apologise for not warning you all in advance that this was the slowest burn, I may have underestimated the amount of angst, It's the fluffiest of fluff, Minor Character Death, Needy Jane, Slow Burn, Soft Maura, Unplanned Pregnancy, comment if you ever actually read the tags beyond the first pairing, honest birth, in the middle bits, it has a pinch of angst, it may be more than a pinch, mildly graphic delivery, slowest of slow burns, they sleep in the same bed a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:47:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 74,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27984054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lil_leels/pseuds/Lil_leels
Summary: Casey is gone, Jane is pregnant, and Maura is there to pick up the pieces left behind.There will be no miscarriage. Frost is alive. Jane and Maura have a baby together. That's it. That's the fic. Pure fluff.Okay... not PURE fluff but mostly fluff with a lot of slowburn and a very, very short moment of pain to push the idiots in love together before turning in to the cutest domestic fluff.Canon to a point and then AU. Not part of my 'partners' universe.
Relationships: Maura Isles/Jane Rizzoli
Comments: 1112
Kudos: 672





	1. April ~ 4-5 weeks

**Author's Note:**

> Happy fluffy Rizzles!

Jane Rizzoli had started her week thinking she would be marrying Casey, that he would leave the army and settle down in Boston. It had taken time to think it over since he’d asked, time to process but Jane had made her decision and she was ready to tell him. Their relationship was an odd one and she felt a little claustrophobic when he came in to town, changing her cereal and tossing the entirety of her fridge but if he was there all the time the change would be less drastic. She’d adjust and he would keep the fridge contents up to date without emptying it entirely. 

Then she’d gotten roped in to the Bloomfield case. It had kept her busy with barely enough time to pee much less respond to a proposal. When the case broke, all Jane wanted was to go home, curl up in her sweats with her best friend and her dog, and schedule a time to talk to Casey. She supposed she should accept his proposal wearing something more than a BPD shirt and sweats. Her Ma would want photos and to hear ‘the story’ on repeat. 

Jane threw her keys in to the bowl Maura had gotten her and made a beeline for the fridge. She had two slices of pizza calling. Jane opened the door, gagging on the smell that greeted her. Jane made a mental note to throw a box of baking soda in it later. She grabbed the pizza, pulling it out and grabbing the first slice. She frowned at the smell which seemed to be burned in to her nostrils and was preventing the smell of delicious pizza. Jane took a bite and promptly turned to hurl in the sink. Her body rejecting the pizza and the handful of chips she’d eaten while finishing her paperwork. 

Jane threw the pizza back in the box, drinking from the tap in an attempt to rinse out the vomit taste. Another round of nausea had Jane gagging. Jane doubled over the sink, willing the bile to stay down. When her stomach seemed to settle, Jane whirled on the pizza slamming the box closed, feeling offended and cheated that it had gone bad so quickly. It wasn’t even a week old yet! She shoved the box and pizza in to the trash. Another wave of nausea made Jane groan. 

Jane made it to the couch, flopping down in a heap on the couch. Jo Friday jumped up and claimed the spot on Jane’s stomach, looking adoringly up at her human. ‘Careful,’ Jane muttered, ‘if it rebels again, you don’t want to be in the line of fire.’ Jo laid her head on Jane’s breast, causing a yelp of pain from Jane. She shifted the little dog's head to a more comfortable place. ‘Great,’ Jane muttered, ‘I’m going to have a stomach bug and my period all at once. And while Frost is on vacation too.’ 

Jane fished out her phone, trying not to disturb her stomach or the mutt sleeping on it. Jane opened her period tracking app. Jane frowned. She was late. A week late. ‘Shit,’ Jane said, throwing an arm over her head. Jo whined slightly, her eyes peering up at Jane with innocence. ‘Don’t even say it,’ Jane growls at Jo. ‘It’s not possible, okay? We were safe.’ Jo whines again. Jane groans as another wave rushes over her. 

There was nothing else for it. Jane moved the dog on her lap and grabbed her jacket, wallet, and keys. She put on Jo’s leash and headed to the convenience store down the street, purchasing what she needed in three, before she and Jo headed back. Jane threw her things down and made it back to the toilet just as the urge to throw up made itself known. Jane sighed, supposing now was as good a time as any. Jane peed, holding the stick at an awkward angle, trying to get enough pee on the stick and none on her hand. She put the stick back in its wrapper and set a ten minute timer. 

In the living room she heard the ding of her email which was not normally an exciting thing but Casey and Frost were the only two who emailed her on this account. At the moment, either of those options were better than counting seconds. She smiled when she saw Casey’s name. It did not last. Jane read Casey’s email once, twice, then a third time before her timer went off. 

Jane wasn’t certain how much her world could shift in the course of ten minutes but shift it did, to the tune of a small pink plus staring back at her. Jane set the stick back down, another wave of nausea washing over her, though this might be for other reasons. Jane turned, sitting against the counter, and buried her face in between her knees. She began counting her breaths in and out. Maura was always telling her to meditate. Now seemed like a good time to start.

Jane isn’t sure how long she’s on the floor. Long enough for the nausea to pass. Long enough for Jo to come lay beside her, looking confused and a bit upset for not being on the couch. Jane knows she needs to get up. So she does the first thing she thinks of. 

_Hey Maura. Can you come over please? ASAP._

Jane hits send before she can second guess herself. Maura responds almost immediately. 

_On my way!_

Then she stands, going in search of an envelope she knows she had around her somewhere. Along the way she grabs Casey’s ring and it’s box. She prints out a label and tapes it on, putting the ring back in it’s box. Maura walks in then. Jane can’t bring herself to look, shame and grief warring for control of her heart. 

‘Jane?’ Maura asks softly, ‘what are you doing?’ 

‘Read it,’ Jane says, gesturing to the email. Maura reads it aloud, each word making Casey’s decision more real. More final. The little stick in Jane’s bathroom made her decision for her. ‘I’m not going.’ 

‘Oh Jane,’ Maura says her face full of sorrow for her friend, ‘I’m so sorry.’ 

‘I can’t follow him all over the world,’ Jane says moving past Maura to retrieve the pregnancy test, ‘I can’t leave everything behind.’ Jane comes back holding the stick. Maura sees it but she asks anyway. 

‘What’s in your hand, Jane?’ Her eyes meet Jane’s and Jane knows that she already knows but they have to make it real. Have to acknowledge it. 

‘Maura,’ Jane says, voice brimming with emotion, ‘I’m pregnant.’ She offers the stick, as the evidence Maura the scientist might need. 

Maura sits down hard on the bar stool, accepting the stick stoically. She glances at it but then her eyes are back on Jane. ‘Oh,’ Maura says softly. Jane isn’t sure what's happening with Maura’s face. It was blank and vaguely uncomfortable looking. 

‘What’s happening with your face, Maur?’ Jane asks, trying to lighten the mood. She doubted Maura would judge her for the pregnancy but the discomfort on Maura’s face seemed to say otherwise. 

‘I’m,’ Maura begins, stopping and then starting again, ‘I find I do not quite know what reaction you are looking for and am trying to not project. Are you excited? Afraid? Upset?’ 

‘Well, yeah, Maura,’ Jane said sarcastically, ‘I think that appropriately sums it up.’ 

‘Which?’ Maura asks carefully, ‘because I find I’m having a hard time knowing what to feel.’ 

Jane lets out a harsh statement, ‘isn’t that the truth?’ Jane sits down hard on the barstool beside Maura. 

‘Jane,’ Maura takes her hand gingerly, ‘you have options you know.’ 

Jane shakes her head, ’no I don’t.’ 

‘Of course you do,’ Maura urges, ‘I know several doctors who could-‘

‘No,’ Jane says more urgently, surprised by the rush of protectiveness she felt for the clump of cells growing in her, ‘no Maur. I can’t do that.’ 

‘Is it because of your religious upbringing?’ Maura asks in confusion, ‘because there’s also adoption to consider. You don’t have to be a mother if you don’t want to.’ 

Jane took a deep breath and let it out shakily, ‘Ma would kill me if I did that. Knowing that I could be a mother and gave it up? She’d disown me, excommunicate me and never talk to me again.’ 

‘No she wouldn’t,’ Maura chastises lightly, ‘she would support you, whatever you chose.’ 

Jane looked at Maura, her eyes welling with tears. ‘There’s only one real option, Maura,’ Jane whispers, ‘I can’t do this,’ Jane gestures to the stick, ‘galavanting around the world to war zone after war zone with a child without you or my Ma or Frankie there to help me.’ 

Maura wrapped her arm around Jane, pulling her in to a hug, ’so we’re having a baby?’ Maura asks softly. 

Jane nods bursting in to sobs, ‘yeah, yeah we are.’ 

Maura presses a kiss to Jane’s temple, ‘I’ll be here Jane. I’ll help you however, whatever, you need. You aren’t alone okay?’ 

Jane nods ‘thanks Maura. For being here and saying we.’ She sniffs loudly, ‘what do I tell Casey?’ 

Sighing, Maura considers her words, ‘whatever you feel comfortable. He chose the army, Jane. He forfeits all rights to what happens next.’ 

Jane pulled away, ‘maybe but he’s still the father. He deserves to know.’ 

‘If you want,’ Maura says, wearing the same look from earlier. ‘I’m here to support whatever you decide.’ 

Jane nods, slipping the ring in to the envelope. ‘Have you eaten yet?’ Jane asks, ‘I’ve been nauseous all day but now I’m starving.’ 

Maura laughs, ‘that’s not uncommon for pregnancy,’ Maura quirks her head sideways looking at Jane, ‘or for you.’ 

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Jane says teasingly, ‘I’m always hungry, ha ha, make fun of the pregnant lady.’ 

Maura gasps before wrapping her arms around Jane in a tight squeeze, ‘ _my_ pregnant lady!’ Jane hears the affection in her voice and smiles. 

When the hug has gone on sufficiently long, Jane shifts ‘so, food?’ 

‘Yes,’ Maura says with a smile, ‘but we should stick to soup. It will help with your liquid intake if you’re throwing up often.’ 

‘Alright! Clam chowder!’ Jane says with a big grin. 

‘No,’ Maura says shaking her head, ‘no fish.’ 

‘No. Fish.’ Jane repeats, ‘no. Fish. Maura we live on the ocean.’ 

‘Fish can be an unhealthy source of mercury for a pregnant woman and can negatively impact fetal development,’ Maura says. 

‘So no alcohol and no fish?’ Jane asks, considering it, ‘that sucks.’ 

‘I’ll make a complete list of foods you should avoid,’ Maura pales visibly. Her voice comes out smaller and more squeaky when she says, ‘including caffeine.’ 

‘Maura,’ Jane glares at Maura in horror, ‘are you saying no coffee?’ 

Maura shakes her head, withering at the stare, her voice is an entire octave higher, ‘no. You’re allowed to drink coffee. Decaf.’ 

Jane blinks, ‘you’ve got to be kidding.’ 

‘Only for the first trimester,’ Maura says quickly, ‘caffeine can increase the risk of miscarriage but becomes a statistically insignificant risk after the 12 week mark. Though, I would still recommend you limit the amount of coffee you drink generally.’ 

‘I’m a cop Maura! I get called in at all hours, work long shifts. I _need_ coffee,’ Jane sputters. 

‘I’m aware of your hours Jane,’ Maura replies, ‘but it doesn’t change the fact that you need to avoid caffeine.’ 

Jane’s eyes narrow as she glares at her best friend, ‘if I’m going coffee free, so are you.’ 

Maura considers it before nodding, ‘I will agree to go decaf coffee only.’ 

It's too easy. Jane senses a caveat, a loophole, something for Maura to slip through in a happily caffeinated state. She considers, staying silent as she tries to puzzle through what Maura was doing. Then it hits her. The tea! ‘Your tea has caffeine in it too Doctor Isles,’ Jane says tauntingly, ‘if I’m suffering, you’re suffering.’ 

Maura’s eyes go wide but she inclines her head in acceptance, ‘I’m certain we will all be suffering indeed, but I will agree to forgo caffeine in all forms for the same length of time you must.’ 

‘Was that a jab at my attitude?’ Jane asks, feeling more alive and happier than she had an hour ago. Sparring with Maura always cheered Jane up. 

‘No,’ Maura says sarcastically, standing and heading for the door, ‘now let's go get some food before you get hangry.’ 

Jane has a retort ready when her stomach growls reminding her she hadn’t eaten in quite some time and that she’d thrown up the little she had eaten. Leaving her engagement ring, pregnancy test, and Casey’s email all behind on the counter, Jane followed Maura out the door. 


	2. May ~ 6-8 weeks

Jane slipped her key into Maura’s door, unlocking and letting herself in was second nature to her these days. ‘Hey Maur!’ Jane called, slipping off her shoes and throwing her keys on the entryway table next to Maura’s. 

‘Good morning Jane,’ Maura called from somewhere in the kitchen, giving Jane a heading. 

Jane pulls up short as she enters the room, her stomach revolting. ‘What is that smell?’ Jane asks horrified. Maura stands at the island sipping on tea and eating yogurt. Her mother stood washing dishes. Nothing seemed overtly odorous. 

Maura frowned, lifting her head to sniff at the air, ‘I don’t smell anything.’ 

‘I made some toast this morning, maybe I burned some?’ Angela says over her shoulder, ‘would you like anything?’ 

It’s her mothers presence more than anything else that convinces Jane to press forward. She switches to breathing through her mouth, a skill she had gotten particularly good at in the last month. ‘No thanks Ma. We gotta get going. Traffic.’ She gestures desperately to Maura, certain she wouldn’t hold out much longer. 

‘But I’m not finished,’ Maura says with a frown at her parfait. 

‘Surely,’ Angela said, drying her hands and turning to face Jane, ‘you can spare a few minutes to have some coffee.’ 

‘Nope. Maura you can bring it with. Let’s just…’ Jane gestures to the door. Her nose is itching, her throat burns, her stomach is roiling. She has to get out of there. ‘Please?’ Jane asks borderline begging. 

Maura sighs, turning to find her to go containers. Jane practically sobs in gratitude. She resolves to buy Maura something along the way to make up for it. Whatever it took to get out of this house. ‘Have a good day Ma,’ Jane practically shouts backpedaling. 

‘Wait a minute,’ Angela calls after her, chasing her down. Was the smell getting stronger? ‘You didn’t think you could get away without some kind of motherly affection did you?’ Angela approaches arms out. She enfolds her eldest daughter and Jane almost hurls all over her doting mother. 

‘New perfume Ma?’ Jane asks, her knees wobbling. 

‘Yes, actually,’ Angela says with a smile, ‘Sean got it for me. Do you like it?’ 

Sean. Cavanaugh. Jane was going to murder him. ‘It’s… nice,’ Jane offers, trying not to breath. 

‘Well you have a good-‘ Angela had pulled back and upon seeing Jane she reversed course, ‘are you feeling alright? You look ill?’ 

‘I’m fine Ma,’ Jane says breaking away from her mother, trying to put space between her sensitive nose and her mother’s perfume. Jane fumbles opening the door, finally able to take a breath when the spring air rushes in. 

‘Maura!’ Angela calls, following Jane closer than she wants. Maura appears just over Angela’s shoulder, her things packed neatly, ready to go. ‘Jane is ill. Could you take a look at her.’ 

‘I’m fine Ma,’ Jane says shoving her shoes on and all but running out the door. ‘Tell her I’m fine Maur.’ 

‘I can’t tell either of you what condition Jane is in until I’ve examined her,’ Maura says, her voice tired and lacking it’s usual cheeriness. ‘If however we are going to delay our departure for such an examination I would have appreciated forewarning. I could have finished my parfait.’ She pouts, her hazel eyes seeming a darker green than normal. Not that Jane makes a habit of noticing Maura’s eye colour. She just happened to notice. 

‘See, Ma?’ Jane says backing up slowly to the car, ‘even Maura says we have to go! Love you, bye!’ 

‘That wasn’t exactly what I meant,’ Maura murmurs, however she follows Jane out the door. ‘Have a lovely day Angela!’ Maura says with forced cheer. She closes the door leaving a concerned Angela behind. 

Jane gets to the door and tries the handle. Locked. Jane pats her pockets, looking for her keys. Then she remembers, ‘fuck.’ 

‘What?’ Maura asks, raising an eyebrow at Jane. 

‘I left the keys inside,’ Jane says leaning her head on the car door, trying to force down the nausea. It worked sometimes. ‘I can’t go back in there. My mother’s new perfume is awful.’ 

‘Is that what you smelled?’ Maura asks, the amber in her eyes alight with the new mystery to uncover. ‘I thought she smelled nice.’ 

Jane shook her head, gagging lightly. ‘Nope. That was horrid. And since when does she wear so much of it?’ 

’Increased olfactory sensitivity is actually a common side effect in pregnancy,’ Maura begins, seemingly unable to stop herself, ‘it is an evolutionary byproduct that seems to have been developed as a means to help both the foetus and its carrier to avoid inhalation of otherwise toxic chemicals that could be detrimental to both of their health. The additional nauseation serves to both reinforce the negative experience and to expel possible contaminants.’ 

‘So you’re saying my Ma’s perfume is toxic?’ Jane offers, her heart not really in it. 

‘Yes, actually,’ Maura says with a wry smile, ‘it smelled floral. Any number of common flowers are known toxins. From baby’s breath to hydrangeas to lilies.’ 

‘Great. Well I’m going to go retrieve my keys from the toxic dangers of the hydrangeas.’ Jane goes to walk around the car, heading back for the door. 

‘Jane?’ Maura calls holding up Jane’s keys for her to see. ‘I noticed you had forgotten them and I grabbed them.’ 

Jane grinned, walking over to Maura. ‘Have I ever told you, you’re my favourite?’ Jane stepped into Maura’s space her hand held out for the keys. Jane caught a hint of Maura’s scent. It was clean and fresh and uniquely Maura. Better yet, it didn’t make Jane want to gag. ‘I take it none of your bath products have hydrangeas in them?’ 

Maura laughed, looking up into Jane’s eyes. She handed over Jane’s keys, their fingers brushing. ‘I anticipated that any strong fragrance may have the unintended consequence of making you feel ill and as such I have removed all scents from my hygiene routine for the time being.’ Maura blushes softly and Jane realises she is still standing unnecessarily close to Maura. She knows she should move, step back, give the smaller woman space but she doesn’t really want to. Instead she draws in another breath, feeling steadier. 

Jane grins, feeling her dimples show, ‘that was very considerate of you.’

‘I didn’t want to make it any harder on you than it already is, with your morning sickness,’ Maura says with a return smile. 

Jane leans in, breathing in Maura’s scent. She thinks she hears Maura gasp softly. ’You smell nice.’

‘And no adverse reactions?’ Maura asks, her mouth turned down slightly in concern. Jane shakes head, hair flying wildly about. Maura reaches up, tucking Jane’s hair behind her ear and away from her eyes, straightening the collar of Jane’s shirt, ‘thank you. You smell nice as well.’ 

Jane blushes, stepping away from Maura, ‘guess we should get going.’ 

‘Yes, we should,’ Maura says with a smile. Jane hits the unlock button and opens the door for Maura, closing it behind her. 

The rest of Jane’s day is passed in relative monotony. They hadn’t been assigned any active cases recently so she and Frost had been working on ‘digitising paperwork’ from old case files. The primary benefit of that being that Jane got to hang out in Maura’s office most of the day, using her scanner to scan case files to send in PDF form to Frost. Maura, unfortunately, was in and out all day, her attention required on two autopsies and a number of other diagnostics. So Jane was mostly alone and bored but it was better than being in the squad room with the acrid smell of body odour and two day old coffee made Jane green. 

Jane was bored well before her shift ended and only a promise extracted from Maura to join her for dinner and a movie kept her working at all. Jane ushered Maura out of her office, as soon as the medical examiner would permit it, driving them back to her condo. When Maura raised an eyebrow in question Jane shrugged and said ‘no risk of my mother’s toxic perfume there.’ Maura had laughed and accepted the answer. 

Maura settled on to the couch, curling into a position that Jane knew meant she was exhausted. Jane flipped through her mail, half her mind trying to remember if she had Maura’s favourite wine on hand, when her hands produced a letter addressed to her from Casey. ‘Maura?’ Jane calls. Something in her voice must give it away because she is at Jane’s side in an instant. 

‘Jane? What is it? Are you al-‘ Maura cuts herself off staring down at the envelope. ‘Oh,’ she murmurs. Then hazel eyes are looking in to her own, ‘are you going to open it?’ 

‘He asked for time. I thought… I didn’t think… I was expecting…’ Jane says stunned. 

‘You weren’t expecting a reply by mail?’ Maura supplies for her. Jane shakes her head. ‘Do you want to open it?’ Maura repeats herself. Her hands pulled the rest of the mail out of Jane’s hands and put them on to her counter. 

‘What if he hates it? What if he doesn’t want me to keep it? What if he hates me? What if-‘ Jane is cut off by Maura shaking her head. 

‘No what ifs Jane. It doesn’t matter what is in this letter. We’ve made our decision. Whatever is written in this letter, it won’t change that, right?’ Maura asks, her eyes meeting Janes. Jane nods, sucking in a breath of air. Maura’s scent is stronger now then it was this morning, laced with a hint of antiseptic. It was steadying. ‘When you’re ready we’ll open it but we aren’t going to guess at its contents and drive ourselves crazy.’ 

‘Okay,’ Jane whispers, Maura’s eyes holding her own. There were a hundred reassuring things Jane could read in those eyes but mostly they promised to be there. Jane looked back at the envelope, flipping it open and splitting it at the top. With shaky fingers Jane drew out Casey’s letter. 

_My Dearest Jane,_

_I don’t know why I told you I needed time. I don’t. It’s been forty eight hours since we’ve talked. Since you’ve told me. I can hardly think of anything else. We’re going to have a baby?! A baby! I know you sent the ring back. I know what we’ve decided. That I would stay on with the army and that you would stay in Boston. Perhaps a baby changes that. There is still room for my wife. But even if it does not, I’m here for you. For_ **_both_ ** _of you. Both of you. Both. A baby!_

_I don’t need time Jane. I’ll support you however you wish. We’ll figure it out together._

_All my love,_

_Casey_

Jane passed the letter to Maura letting her read. Jane walked numbly to the kitchen pulling out the wine glasses. Maura followed her reading, a frown on her face. 

‘He seems… happy,’ Maura says. Her voice is guarded. 

‘Yeah,’ Jane says monotonically, filling one of the glasses with wine. 

‘He says he’ll support your decisions,’ Maura offers cautiously. 

‘Yeah,’ Jane repeats in the same tone, filling the other wine glass with water and promptly downing it. 

‘So will you go?’ Maura asks. It isn’t the question Jane is expecting. She looks up in to piercing hazel eyes, Maura’s face carefully obscuring all emotion. 

‘What?’ Jane asks in surprise, ‘no. No. No, Maura, come on. I told you, I can’t do this,’ Jane gestured at her stomach, ‘abroad. I can barely do it in Boston.’ 

‘Oh,’ Maura says, wetness filling her eyes. 

Jane’s own eyes go wide, ‘did you think I would?’ 

‘I don’t know,’ Maura offers, setting the letter down on the counter and wiping at her cheeks, ‘I was just afraid that I might lose you after all.’ 

‘Me?’ Jane asks as she hands over the wine glass, ‘or the baby?’ Jane’s almost afraid to ask. She’s not sure she wants to know. 

Maura tilts her head, her gaze sad. ‘I would be sad watching your child grow up abroad. I would wish they were closer. I would want to know them better. But it would be nothing compared to losing you Jane. Not seeing my best friend every day. Not having you to share my life with.’ 

‘Casey wants to support my decision but he isn’t willing to give up his commission to come home,’ Jane says sipping on her water once more. Maura sips her wine. ‘Everything he wrote was about the baby. And that’s fine. But we also ended our relationship. It just feels like… like…’ 

‘Like he cares more about the baby then he does about you?’ Maura asks gently. 

‘Something like that, yeah,’ Jane says, her voice breaking with emotion, tears welling in her eyes, ‘damn hormones.’ 

Maura sets her glass down, walking up behind Jane and wrapping her arms around the lanky woman. Maura buries her face in the middle of Jane’s shoulder blades and speaks softly but firmly. ‘I like the idea of the baby. I do but I really love you Jane. It’s like… the baby is a light bulb and it brightens up a room. But you? You’re like the sun. You’re my constant. You do so much more than light up a room. You illuminate everything. You make the flowers bloom and the birds chirp. You give life and warmth and joy and every other good thing. Does that make sense?’ 

Jane turns, wrapping her arms around Maura and allowing herself a moment, just a moment, to be emotional. ‘Thanks Maur,’ Jane says her voice particularly gravely sounding from the rawness of the moment. ‘I really needed to hear that.’ 

Maura pulls away, pressing a kiss to Jane’s cheek, ‘anytime.’ She grabs her wine glass and heads back towards the living room, leaving Jane standing there, a tingling feeling in her cheek. 


	3. June ~ 10-12 weeks

Jane turns in the mirror, one hand holding up the hem of her shirt the other tracing the curve of her baby bump. To most it probably looked like a food baby. Like Jane had pounded a burrito and chugged a beer. Instead Jane had spent the better part of the last 8 weeks on a strict diet of crackers and broth in an attempt to keep vomiting to a minimum. Jane sighed. She wouldn’t be able to hide it for too much longer. As it was, the guys were always giving her odd looks when she dodged yet another lunch with them or disappeared into the bathroom to vomit at whatever horrible new smell the precinct presented. Jane was almost certain her Ma knew, or at least suspected, and the only way Jane had escaped further interrogation was through general avoidance tactics. 

Then there was Maura. Jane had convinced Maura to not say anything to the higher ups, telling her she didn’t want to be pulled off of active duty but every case they got, every perp they arrested, Maura’s lips seemed to grow thinner and thinner. Jane knows the only reason Maura hadn’t said anything was because Maura knew Jane loved her job but Jane worried about how much it was stressing her under-caffeinated friend out. A particularly scary chase through the woods in a fire fight had made Jane wonder if maybe Maura wasn’t right after all. Her body wasn’t just her own now. It belonged to the baby too. Only the horror of being stuck at her desk, all day long, digitising ancient files kept her from acting. She’d squeeze out every minute of active case work she could before the brass reassigned her to archives. The only bright side was that she and Maura would sleep better when the biggest threat to Jane and the baby’s safety was dust bunnies. 

‘Jane?’ Maura called from the other room, having let herself in. 

‘In here,’ Jane calls back. 

Maura’s face appears over Jane’s shoulder in her mirror, ‘what are you doing?’ She’s smiling, her eyes a bright effervescent green. 

‘Just looking,’ Jane says sheepishly, ‘it’s starting to grow. It will be bigger than a food baby soon.’ 

Maura steps carefully into the room, ‘how do you feel about that?’ 

‘I don’t know,’ Jane says softly, staring at the bulge of her stomach, ‘its odd. I’m usually more…’ Jane hesitated. She wasn’t a body builder by any stretch of the imagination but Jane was usually lean and wiry. Her frame made the bulge more obvious. 

‘Toned,’ Maura says softly, ‘you’re usually more toned but now your hormones are telling your muscles to relax, your uterine walls are expanding to accommodate the baby and its placenta sack.’ Jane wrinkled her nose. ‘What?’ Maura asks, looking concerned. 

‘Do you have to call it a sack?’ Jane asks. 

Maura opens her mouth with what was likely a biting remark but she stops, ‘not if you don’t want me to.’ 

Jane is surprised by the acquiescence. Maura was a stickler for names and terminology. She was trying to make Jane comfortable with the process her body was taking. Jane was grateful for it. ‘Thanks,’ Jane says with a small smile, ‘so how much longer do you think I can hide it?’ 

‘Without a considerable wardrobe change?’ Maura asks, her eyes drawn to the bump, her eyebrows knitted. ‘Perhaps a week or two. If you would wear something other than button ups or t-shirts we could buy you another four to six.’ 

‘I’m not going to wear ruffles, Maura,’ Jane says wryly. 

‘For your information,’ Maura says haughtily, ‘no one said anything about ruffles. I simply meant something a little less form fitting. Something that didn’t hug every curve and allowed the fabric to move would do.’ Maura’s eyes meet Jane’s before jumping back down to Jane’s stomach. 

‘Did you want to feel it?’ Jane asks teasingly, ‘you keep staring at it.’ 

Maura meets her eyes again, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, ‘I would but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.’ 

Jane turns, holding out a hand for Maura’s. ‘I can’t feel much yet but then I’m not a doctor.’ Jane takes the offered hand and guides it to her belly. Maura’s hand is warm and gentle. It brushes her belly softly, almost tickling her. Then her other hand comes to join her first, the pair of them tracing Jane’s abdomen. Maura’s eyes are open wide and twinkling in awe. ‘Do you…’ Jane gasps when Maura’s thumb brushes a tickling spot, ‘feel anything?’ 

‘I can try,’ Maura says in a voice so soft it is almost a whisper. Jane nods, uncertain as to why her mouth was so dry or her tongue so thick. 

Maura drops to her knees, her hands shift from tender to precise, from friend to doctor, in an instant. Maura feels a moment longer, pressing in seemingly random patterns. ‘You’re very toned,’ Maura murmurs, ‘that can make an examination difficult.’ Her hands press in the same spot again and Maura looks up at her with a grin, ‘there we are. Hello baby.’ 

‘You can feel the baby?’ Jane asks, nerves rising up unexpectedly, ‘is it okay? Is it healthy?’ 

‘I can’t feel the baby exactly. Just the uterus and the development of the placenta but everything seems normal on this side of things. Your first prenatal appointment will tell us more,’ Maura says, ‘and in a few weeks you’ll be able to feel the baby moving.’ She presses the briefest kiss to the place she had pressed on a moment ago before pulling down on Jane’s shirt, covering her bump once more. Jane blinks, staring at Maura in what felt like awe. Maura held out a hand asking for help up. Jane’s hand responds before Jane’s brain has caught up to it. Her stomach is fluttering, radiating tingles from the place Maura had kissed. It was a curious sensation and Jane didn’t have any way to categorise it so she didn’t. 

‘And you’re going with me to that, right?’ Jane asks nervously, ‘because I really don’t want to go alone.’ 

Maura squeezed Jane’s hand, ‘yes. Friday at 2:30 with Doctor Kaviraj. We’ll get to hear the baby’s heartbeat and you’ll have to do a couple of blood tests.’ 

‘Wow,’ Jane says numbly, ‘they already have a heartbeat.’ 

‘Most of the organs have begun to develop and perform their basic functions by 8 weeks,’ Maura replies with a smile, ‘the heart can be observed beating as early as 6 weeks.’ 

‘That’s pretty incredible,’ Jane murmurs her hand going down to rub her belly once more, ‘great work kid. You’ve got basic bodily functions.’ Maura chuckled and Jane grinned at her. ‘Thanks for giving us a check up,’ Jane says easily. ‘I didn’t know I wanted one until you gave me one.’ 

Maura smiled back, ‘anytime Jane. Happily. And just so you know, I think you’re both beautiful. You especially, baby bump and all.’ Jane blushed and chuckled awkwardly, her tone deeper than usual. She’s saved from finding a reply by a knock on her door.

‘Were you expecting someone else?’ Maura asks with a frown. 

Jane shakes her head, ‘nope just you. It’s probably just my neighbour needing to borrow a cup of milk or something.’ 

‘You have a neighbour who willingly trusts the contents of your fridge?’ Maura asks, raising an eyebrow skeptically. 

‘Ha. Ha. You’re so funny I forgot to laugh,’ Jane retorts, ‘you get the door and I’ll dig out the milk.’ 

Maura walks away chuckling at her own joke. Jane has just rounded the corner into the kitchen when Maura calls out her name. Its the way that Maura says it that brings Jane to her at a run. It’s high pitched and thick with panic. Jane doesn’t see anything but Maura. Her heart is racing, her eyes going over every inch of Maura’s form, making sure she’s okay. It isn’t until Jane is parallel with Maura that she sees them. Her stomach drops. Her knees give out, and Maura catches her, sinking to the floor with her. 

‘Agent Jane Rizzoli?’ The uniformed officer asks, his cap tucked politely under his arm. 

‘Yes,’ Jane replies, her eyes watering. 

The officer and the priest exchange looks before sinking into a crouching position as well. ‘Ma’am it is my sorrow to inform you that General Charles Casey Jones has been killed in action during a covert operation on….’ The man continues on, his voice buzzing in Jane’s ears. Words are fleeting. Someone says ‘died a hero,’ ‘saved lives,’ ‘purple heart,’ ‘next of kin,’ and someone else, maybe her, keeps saying ‘this can’t be happening.’ The only thing Jane can really understand is Maura. Maura holding her, her strong arms wrapped tightly around Jane. Jane is certain that that is the only thing keeping Jane from floating away. 

Someone, Jane isn’t sure who, presses a box into her hands no bigger than a shoebox. Jane is aware, barely, of the door closing but Maura hasn’t moved, hasn’t let her go. With shaking hands, Jane lifts the lid. Inside are Casey’s personal effects. Medals he had won, his dog tags, her engagement ring, a few photographs of the two of them, one of his family, and underneath it all was a letter addressed to ‘Jane and baby.’ Jane’s fingers tremble as they open it. Her eyes are too wet to make out the words. She hands it to Maura with a whimper who reads aloud, her voice thick with emotion. 

_My Dearest Jane -_

_It is my sincerest hope that you will never read this letter. Officially, you have been listed as my next of kin for quite some time now. I have also changed my will so that you and our unborn child will be the primary recipient of my inheritance. All that remains is to write you this letter. It's a tricky thing to write, last words. Final farewells. I suppose all that really matters is that you know I l-l-l_

Maura gets choked up. She pauses, clearing her throat and shaking her head to clear away the tears.

_I love you. I will always love you. I wish I was going to be there for you, as you have our child, as you raise them. There’s so much I wish I wasn’t going to miss. I won’t even have gotten to meet them. I hope that when they ask about their father, you’ll tell them about the man you fell in love with. The one you wanted to marry. The man I wish I could be. Tell them that I love them, with all my heart. Even without having met them or seen them or held them. I love them. They are my greatest pride and you my greatest joy. I love you. Always. Casey._

Maura passes the letter back, the paper trembling in her grasp. ‘Jane,’ Maura whispers, ‘I’m so sorry.’ That’s it. That’s all she says, her hand wrapping themselves back around Jane. Her face buries itself in Jane’s shoulder and Maura holds on, rocking Jane as she cried until she couldn’t cry anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter (and part of the next) is as angsty as I am currently planning on getting. Everything else will be fluff (muses willing). :)


	4. June ~ 10-12 weeks Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dates on these chapters haven't been updating correctly. Not sure why. This one should be correct but if you notice it, please let me know! Thanks!

Maura watches the world fall out from underneath Jane Rizzoli and she does her best to catch the pieces. She holds Jane as the men at her door work through their speech. She holds Jane as her fingers tremble holding her engagement ring in one hand and trembling photographs in the other. She holds Jane as she cries in the entryway of her apartment, her shirt riding up to reveal the barest hint of her bump. Maura holds her as tightly as can as though she could hold the pieces of her best friend’s heart together. Then she takes care of Jane. She watches her drink water, puts on the television, wraps her up in blankets and pulls her into Maura’s lap, fingers combing through her hair. Jane cries more, droplets leaking from her eyes onto Maura’s pants. Jane cries for so long, Maura begins to worry she may be dehydrated so Maura forces another cup of water into her. Maura tries to get food in Jane as well but settles for a package of crackers and some nutrient water on her nightstand. And when Jane asks, her voice raw and hoarse, her eyes rimmed in red and full of water, Maura stays. She sees them both into pyjamas, pulls back the blankets and cocoons Jane in her own arms as Jane cries herself to sleep. 

That had been, Maura looked at her watch, nearly four hours ago. Jane had shifted restlessly, whimpering in her sleep, until Maura had pulled her close. Now the woman was all but stretched out on top of Maura, their legs intertwined, Jane’s face nuzzled into the crook of Maura’s neck, her belly resting on Maura’s. Maura took comfort in the pose, a comfort she would not normally permit herself to have. Today, however, Jane needed to be held and Maura needed to hold her. Every puff of hot air on her neck, every steady beat of her heart, was reassurance that, at least physically, Jane was alright. Normally, that thought would have lulled Maura to sleep. She was comfortable and holding the woman she definitely did not have more than friendly feelings for. 

Tonight, however, Maura was furious at the world. At the officer and chaplain who knocked on Jane’s door and broke her heart. She’s furious at Casey for making Jane fall in love with him, proposing and then choosing the fucking army over her. For getting her pregnant, then saying he loves her and wants to be a part of everything, only to go and fucking die saving someone else. She’s furious at Jane for loving and wanting Casey in the first place. For not wanting the person who wanted her back, who would do anything for her, even leaving the fucking army. Especially that. Maura would give up her post at BPD in an instant if it meant Jane was happy and safe and taken care of. Not that those things were directly related.

But mostly Maura is furious at herself for having no fucking clue what to do. Maura had stayed away from live patients for just this reason. Maura couldn’t fix this. She couldn’t bring Casey back, she couldn’t make Jane forget, she couldn’t even heal Jane’s heart. All she could do was try to tangibly hold the pieces of a metaphorically broken heart together. At least with the dead, she didn’t have to try and fix things. She just found the facts, found the truth. What actually happened with those facts afterwards well… that was Jane’s department. Jane would know what to do, if the situations were reversed. Jane would swoop in with a poorly timed joke or a horribly oversimplified pun and she’d laugh that gravelly laugh and she’d smile that dimpled smile and somehow it would make Maura feel better. Just because Jane was there. 

Maura didn’t do jokes, not the way Jane did, all effortless charm. The few puns she had attempted during their tenure as friends had resulted in a blank stare 82.5 percent of the time. Maura wasn’t sure what would make Jane feel better. Beer, maybe. Or coffee. _Or coffee._

When the first streaks of dawn begin to trace golden hued beams on Jane’s ceiling, Maura begins the extraction of her own limbs being as gently as possible. She slips on her now rumpled clothes from yesterday as quietly as possible. Then she lets herself out and locks the door behind her before heading to Jane’s favourite coffee shop. Maura recognises the barista behind the counter, which was entirely indicative of Jane’s caffeine addiction, and not because Maura frequented the coffee shop nearest Jane’s house often. 

‘Hey Lizzie,’ Maura greets with a smile. 

‘Hey Doc,’ Lizzie says with a grin, ‘what can I get for ya? You got a case this morning?’ 

‘No,’ Maura says with a blush, ‘it was a long night and I thought I would get a little pick me up. Two large lattes and two chocolate croissants.’ 

Lizzie gives her an appraising look, her eyes taking in Maura’s rather disheveled look, and she grins, ‘say no more. I’d say walk of shame but it sounds like you’re going back for more.’ 

Maura is confused, ‘why would I be walking in shame? Certainly this outfit is not as crisp as I would normally require but it is my day off and I didn’t have a change of clothes at Jane’s.’ 

The barista finished ringing Maura up, flashed a grin, ‘so you spent the night with Detective Ri-Jane?’ Lizzie’s tone is in a high falsetto, indicating a feigned casualness. 

‘Yes,’ Maura says plainly, clearly missing the other woman’s intentions. 

‘Damn!’ Lizzie says with a big grin as she pushes some buttons on the machine, ‘if you two would have made it another month, I’d have won a hundred bucks!’ 

Maura tilted her head sideways, her brows knitted together as she tried to puzzle out how, exactly, the pair of them could be having such different conversations. ‘I’m afraid,’ Maura says soberly, ‘I don’t know what you mean.’ 

‘Right,’ Lizzie says with a grin, ‘a lady doesn’t kiss and tell. I thought for sure it’d take Jane longer to get over that army hunk she brought in a few months ago. He was cu-ute.’ She divides the syllables in the word cute to elongate while pitching her voice slightly higher. Even as she does this, she pours the milk into the latte into a perfect and intricate leaf. 

‘Do you mean Casey?’ Maura asks, accepting the first cup and capping it. 

‘Was that his name?’ Lizzie asks, working on the second. ‘He was all kinds of smitten with her. Most of the girls thought the bet was off then.’ 

‘You have a bet with the other baristas about Jane?’ Maura clarifies, her head spinning. 

‘Well, and you, of course,’ Lizzie says. 

‘Of course,’ Maura confirms without a clue what the barista was talking about but simply deciding that her brain could not comprehend social dialogue without any sleep. 

‘Here ya go,’ Lizzie says as she finishes off a perfect heart and passes it over to Maura. ‘I’m happy for the two of you, personally, I always thought Jane seemed happier with you then she ever did with Casey. More… at ease.’ Lizzie laughs as if she’s made a joke and Maura blinks. 

‘Right, well,’ Maura says awkwardly, ‘thanks for these.’ 

‘Hold up!’ Lizzie calls, ‘your pastries!’ 

Maura doubles back and is surprised when Lizzie hands her three pastry bags. She winks and says, ‘congratulations Doc!’ Maura stutters out a thank you and nods her head when Lizzie waves her out. Maura finds her chocolate croissants in a bag, blueberry scones in another, and two chocolate chip cookies in the third. Maura hated receiving free food, not when she had the means to pay for it but she had tipped generously. Plus Jane loved getting free food, she swore it made the food taste better which Maura had tried to explain was simply an increase in dopamine levels and not actually a change in the taste of her food at all. Given the night Jane had had, Maura thought free food might be in order. 

Letting herself into the apartment had required some jiggling, but Maura managed it. She placed allof her things on the counter and then took Jo out for a quick break before coming back in. A peek in the bedroom told Maura that Jane was still sleeping. The tantalising smell of coffee with real caffeine was tempting. So very tempting after 8 weeks without it but Maura couldn’t bring herself to drink any without Jane. They’d promised to do this together, after all. Maura did allow herself to move the coffee into the bedroom. To Jane’s nightstand. Mere inches from Jane’s nose. And then Maura watched in delight as Jane began to stir, her nose twitching. 

‘Maur?’ Jane asks. 

‘I’m here,’ Maura says quickly sitting on the bed next to Jane. 

‘Smell coffee?’ Jane says thickly, her eyes not yet open. 

‘I got us lattes,’ Maura answers sheepishly, ‘caffeinated lattes.’

Jane’s eyes popped open at the word lattes and it devastated Maura. Her eyes are warm and brown, her lashes long and thick. They twinkle in delight, looking first at Maura then towards the latte sitting on her nightstand. ‘Yum,’ Jane says, pushing herself up into a sitting position. 

‘I thought, after last night, we could both use a cheat day,’ Maura offers softly. She regrets it immediately. The twinkle disappears, sorrow filling in that empty space, turning Jane’s eyes from the perfect amber to a murky brown. 

‘Yeah,’ Jane says, taking a perfunctory sip of her coffee. Maura is afraid she might have ruined it but Jane groans when the brown liquid hits her tongue and Maura smiles into her own cup because, apparently, not even grief could keep Jane from enjoying a good cup of coffee. 

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Maura asks when she’s about half way through her latte and Jane is probably already finished. 

‘I don’t know what to say,’ Jane acknowledges. ‘He’s dead. He chose the army. He chose those men. He died doing what he loved. There are worse things than that.’ Maura doesn’t disagree. Doesn’t point out that he didn’t choose Jane, didn’t choose their child, didn’t choose the life they could have had together. She simply nods and takes another sip. ‘It makes me sad,’ Jane whispers, barely loud enough to be heard, ‘but I knew from the moment I peed on that stick that it would just be this kid and I against the world, ya know? Just the two of us.’ 

Maura flinches. She shifts, setting her coffee down, its appeal lost even if it was the first time she had felt truly awake in eight weeks. ‘You aren’t alone, Jane,’ Maura whispers, ‘you were never alone. I’m always going to be here. For you. And for the baby.’ 

Jane blinks, looking up at the ceiling, tears brimming over. ‘Sure, I mean,’ Jane whispers, ‘of course, you’ve been great. With the no coffee thing and holding my hair and changing your soaps. But what about dirty diapers? And late night feedings? What about piles of laundry and doing a million dishes? I mean eventually Maura your life is going to go on.’

Maura frowns, ‘Jane if you want me there, I’ll be there. I’ll change every diaper, take every late night feeding. Whatever you need. Even if that's doing dishes and scrubbing bottles at the same time. I’ll be here.’ 

‘I know,’ Jane says softly, her gaze still trained upwards, ‘but eventually -‘

Maura cuts her off there, ‘eventually we’ll figure it out. Together. You’re my best friend, Jane. I won’t let you go through this, any of this, alone. I’ll be here whenever you want me for as long as you want me.’

Jane nods but given the way she averts her eyes and swallows down the lump in her throat, Maura isn’t certain she believes her. So Maura makes herself a vow to prove it. 

She doesn’t expect an opportunity to show Jane that commitment to arise quite so quickly. Maura is required to do the autopsies of several victims in a multi car crash on Thursday night, her work taking her most of the night and into the next morning. Maura permits herself a twenty minute nap at noon, followed by a quick lunch and a caffeine free tea before meeting Jane at 1:30 in the BPD lobby. 

‘Maur?’ Jane asks, her eyebrows raised in amazement, ‘what are you doing here? Weren’t you on all night?’ 

‘I was,’ Maura affirms, incapable of lying, ‘but I promised I would be there for you. For all the big and small things. This is one of them.’ 

‘I appreciate the gesture,’ Jane says, ‘but you’re exhausted. You were up all night. Go home. Sleep.’ 

‘I intend to,’ Maura says with a calming smile, ‘after our appointment.’ 

Jane meets her eyes, gulps once, twice, and then nods. 

It isn’t even a struggle to stay awake, Maura is so excited. The nurse takes them back, taking most of Jane’s measurements and information. Maura sits in the chair beside the exam table, positively beaming up at Jane. When the doctor arrives, she gives Jane an exam. Maura records the gentle thudding of the heart beat on her phone without letting go of Jane’s hand. When the doctor asks if they have any questions, Maura fires off a dozen, making notes of each answer diligently while Jane rolls her eyes. It doesn’t occur to either one of them that the doctor never clarified what their relationship was.

Then Jane drives her home, dropping her off with an urging to get some sleep. Maura does, falling asleep to the gentle thud-thudding of Jane and the baby’s heartbeat playing, her promise to be there for them always echoes in the space between every beat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lizzie and the Baristas are all of us.


	5. July ~ 14 weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much sweetness and sexual tension. Also the theme of this fic is to put Maura and Jane in the most ridiculous overwhelmingly romantic situations until they figure it out. ALL the not platonic things.

It happens at 2:47 am on a Wednesday morning. Jane gets up to pee for the thousandth time that night. She is walking back to her bed when her belly flutters. Jane freezes for a moment, staring down at her belly not certain whether she had imagined it or not. Then it flutters again. ‘Woah,’ Jane whispers, ‘hang on little one. We gotta…’ Jane looks around at her semi dark room grabbing her sweats and pulling them on in a hurry, ‘you just keep doing that. Okay. Just… keep moving until we get to Maura’s.’ Jane stumbles over one of her own shoes as she tries to tug on her hoodie. Jane grabs her keys and wallet, moving as quickly as she trusts her sleepy brain to go.

The drive takes too long. Even though she knows it is only a few minutes. Even though she knows it couldn’t possibly be longer than it was yesterday. Somehow it still took forever. Jane pulls into the driveway, killing the engine. Jane waits for another flutter before getting out of the car. Jane slips in to Maura’s front door, slipping off her shoes in the dark and putting them in their designated spot. Jane moves through the dark room with ease, to the stairs and up to Maura’s room. She pauses at Maura’s door torn on what to do. Jane and Maura had shared a bed, _that_ bed hundreds of times. But that was when Maura invited her. When they started their night already in agreement. It was, perhaps, a tad excessive to barge in her room without permission in the middle of the night to wake her. Jane decides to knock. Jane whisper calls, ‘Maura!’ When no sounds return, Jane whisper calls again, ‘Maura!’ 

It takes a moment but then a sleepy rasp reaches Jane’s ears. ‘Jane? Jane is that you?’ Maura pulls open the door without a stitch on. Jane’s tongue has turned to sand paper and Jane’s eyes feel oddly heavy, as if they’re drawn down to… all of Maura. _All_ of Maura. ‘Are you alright?’ Maura asks. Jane finally meets her eyes. She blinks once, twice. Her tongue suddenly feels enormous. ‘Jane?’ Maura moves, pressing a hand to Jane’s forehead, her lips pulled down in a concerned frown. 

‘You’re naked,’ Jane’s mouth utters into the dark hall. It isn’t at all what she meant to say. 

‘I often sleep in the nude,’ Maura reminds her quietly, ‘you aren’t running a fever and seem otherwise unharmed. Are you alright?’ Maura’s hands have roamed Jane’s body and Jane knows it’s doctorly. Taking pulses, measuring temperatures, feeling for broken pieces. But it makes Jane’s skin feel hot, too hot, and tingly. Jane can’t make her tongue move. Maura sighs, stepping away from Jane, ‘let me put on my robe.’ Jane’s skin feels suddenly cold and Jane can’t stop the shiver that courses through her. Maura disappears from Jane’s line of sight before reappearing in a soft silky thing that was only slightly less naked then she had been before. Jane frowned, feeling a kind of dislike for the robe that she couldn’t quite place. Perhaps it was the cut? Along the way back to Jane, Maura stops to turn on a light, her eyes glancing at the clock. 3:17. Thirty minutes. It had taken Jane thirty minutes to get to Maura. Well not quite because she’d been standing in Maura’s doorway for a small eternity. As if on cue, Maura looks at her frowning, ‘Jane?’ 

Then Jane’s stomach flutters and Jane grins, ‘sorry for waking you… it’s just…’ Jane blushes, pulling off her hoodie. Maura’s eyes are opened wide, glued to Jane’s midsection. ‘The baby’s moving.’ Jane strides forward, grabbing one of Maura’s hands, which is trembling and puts it on the last place her stomach flutters. 

‘They moved?’ Maura whispers in awe. Maura stares down at her hand on Jane’s belly, ‘I can’t believe we have a mover!’ They stand that way for a long moment. The baby doesn’t move again. Maura looks up at Jane, peering at Jane through curiously long eyelashes, ‘perhaps they’re tired?’ 

‘It was a lot of movement for the little one,’ Jane nods, ‘but maybe…’ Jane trails off feeling foolish. Her cheeks are flushed in an instant. 

‘Maybe?’ Maura presses, her hand still pressed warmly against Jane’s stomach. 

‘Well,’ Jane says, her voice husky from the emotion, ‘you could try talking to them. One of those books you left behind said talking to the baby was good for them. And could make them move and stuff.’ 

‘Jane Rizzoli,’ Maura says her voice laced with amusement, ‘have you been reading my baby books?’ 

‘As if you didn’t leave them at my place for that express purpose,’ Jane says, rolling her eyes. 

Maura grins fluttering her eyelashes. She speaks coyly, ‘perhaps.’ Then she asks shyly, ‘can I?’ She gestures toward Jane’s belly in the tiny space between them. 

‘Yeah,’ Jane says with a grin, ‘I didn’t drive all the way over here and wake you up at 3 in the morning for you to not feel them moving.’ 

Maura sinks slowly to her knees. She leans in close enough that the puff of hot air she exhales on every breath makes Jane want to laugh from the tickling of it. Maura puts both hands on either side of Jane’s belly. ‘Hello baby,’ Maura says, her voice full of soft adoration. ‘Would you please move for me and your Ma? I would really like to feel you moving. Nothing would make me happier.’ They sit quietly, listening for a movement. Jane feels like she can hardly breathe from the anticipation. 

‘Come on kid,’ Jane urges, ‘show us your moves.’ Maura smiles at her belly and Jane feels her heart thump a little harder. 

Maura moves her hands gently, sliding them across the front of Jane’s stomach, ‘can you feel that little one? Want to be my dance partner?’ Maura’s hands pause. They wait. Jane thinks she actually might cry. 

Then Maura is looking up at her with so much sadness and Jane can’t help herself, ‘I’m sorry Maur. I didn’t mean to… I really wanted you to be the first.’ 

Maura stands, wrapping her arms around Jane, squeezing her reassuringly. ‘It’s okay, Jane,’ Maura whispers. Maura presses a kiss to Jane’s temple. ‘I’ll feel it next time, let’s just go to bed.’ 

Jane sniffs, nodding, ‘we can keep trying too. If you want.’ 

Maura nods too, ‘I’d like that.’ 

Jane climbs in to Maura’s bed, the smell of Maura swirls around her and Jane smiles as she relaxes. Maura turns off her light before climbing in to bed. Jane guides her hand to her belly, holding it there with all the tenderness she possessed. Maura closes the space between them, laying her head on the crook of Jane’s shoulder, their legs entangling naturally. ‘How’s this?’ Jane asks softly. 

‘Perfect,’ Maura whispers, her thumb brushing Jane’s stomach softly. ‘Will you wake me if you feel them again?’ Maura asks, while trying to hide a yawn.

‘Always,’ Jane says dutifully. Because she would. She wanted Maura to feel it too. Even if it meant a horrible night of sleep. 

‘Goodnight Jane,’ Maura says turning her head up to kiss Jane’s cheek. She resettles herself and brushes her thumb over Jane’s tingling skin whispering, ‘goodnight baby.’ 

Jane’s not sure who drifts off first or how long they had stayed curled up together through the night. She does know that Maura gets up first, heading to the bathroom to begin getting ready for the day. Maura was roughly ten minutes into her typical 20 minute shower when Jane feels her stomach flutter. Jane moves quickly, throwing the blankets off and moving into the bathroom. 

‘Maura!’ Jane calls, her stomach fluttering. 

‘Yes?’ Maura calls from the shower as if it were just another morning of Jane asking to borrow some toothpaste or something equally mundane. The baby moves again. 

‘The baby’s awake!’ Jane says, approaching the shower door. 

Maura throws the door open, her hair in suds, _‘now?’_ Maura asks, sounding dismayed. ‘I’m in the middle of shampooing.’ 

‘I don't think this kid grasps the finer points of hair care,’ Jane retorts back, ‘Move over. I’m coming in.’ 

Maura blinks at her once, before stepping back without question. Jane shucks her pants before stepping into the hot water in her underwear. She grabs one somewhat sudsy hand and puts it on her belly. ‘Talk to it,’ Jane urges gently. 

‘Well baby, you certainly have your Ma’s sense of timing,’ Maura says ironically, ‘but since you’ve interrupted my shower and gotten your mother involved as well, it would be quite nice if you moved. Would you move for us baby?’

Then it happens. Jane’s stomach flutters. Jane watches the look on Maura’s face go from annoyed, to awed, to delighted in the space of that flutter. ‘Jane!’ Maura whispers excitedly, ‘I feel them! I feel the baby moving! They’re moving!’ Maura hits her knees, most of the spray blocked by Jane, she presses a kiss to Jane’s baby, ‘there you are sweetie. It’s so wonderful to meet you.’ Another flutter and Maura is giggling. Maura follows the flutter with her own hand, tracing the same path. She looks up in utter delight, her hazel eyes a bright green, when the baby repeats the same pattern.

‘Aren’t you so smart?’ Maura whispers softly, repeating the motion softly. 

Jane beams down at Maura, ‘they get that from you.’ 

Maura looks up at her, her eyes watery, suds dripping down her face and back, ‘I know we both know that isn’t possible but its so very sweet that I’m going to allow it anyways.’ She smiles at Jane and Jane’s heart thumps painfully. It wasn’t fair that Maura always looked ready for a photoshoot. 

They stood like that for a while. Maura whispered words to the baby as she traced patterns on Jane’s stomach. Jane grinned down at the pair, blocking most of the water from the shower head from hitting the pair. When, at last, it seemed the baby had settled once more Maura stood up. ‘Thank you,’ Maura says pressing a kiss to Jane’s cheek, ‘that was beautiful.’ 

Jane grins, ‘it was, wasn’t it.’ Jane reaches around Maura for the shampoo, shifting to give Maura the water stream. Maura raises an eyebrow at her. ‘What?’ Jane asks, ‘we’re both in here already and we’re probably running very late. Might as well just finish up.’ Jane expects a smart retort, instead the woman opens her mouth, closes it and turns away but not before Jane could spot the red splotches on her cheeks. Jane can’t help the mischievous grin on her face as she lathers up. 

They are, indeed, running late. Which Jane feels slightly bad about but Maura, for once, seems complete at peace with. She wore a serene smile on her face, her eyes moving often from Jane’s stomach to her eyes and back to her own coffee. It was a good reason to be late, Jane reasoned, wearing her own matching smile. 


	6. July ~ 14 weeks Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE!!!!!!

Jane’s cravings begin almost as soon as her morning sickness leaves and it is those cravings, in Maura’s estimation, that gave Jane away. Angela, of course, had cornered Maura nearly six weeks ago and forced her into a confession. Maura had relented when hives covered most of her neck with the promise that Angela could not, under any circumstances, confront Jane about it. Maura had made her wait for Jane to tell her. Of course, Maura hadn’t thought that Jane would take six weeks to do it but when Jane starts eating peanut butter on everything, especially her caesar salads which had become a staple… well even Jane could no longer pretend. 

Angela, throwing her arms around a very flustered Jane in a bear hug, wept. Maura had mostly heaved a sigh of relief. There were only two people in the world who she absolutely could not keep a secret from. And now that they both knew, Maura could stop scratching her neck anytime one of them was in the same room. Frankie’s response is equally jubilant. Their joy was real and effusive. Which had made the news of Casey’s death harder. When Angela’s response threatened to outweigh Jane’s own, Maura had intervened. She had freed Jane from her mother’s sobbing grasp, offering her own arms instead. Maura had gotten quite a bit of practice the last few weeks and the way Jane’s face shifted from panicked to grateful was enough for Maura. 

Maura wasn’t sure when Korsack figured it out. Maura couldn’t be certain but she would not be surprised to learn he and Jane had had one of their emotional heart to hearts where emotions were shared more through primal grunts than actual words but it worked for them. Predictably, Frost was the last to know. Even Susie had pieced it all together before Frost did. If the detective was hurt by that, he never showed that to Maura or Jane. Instead, he had become a kind of cheerleader for Jane, going so far as to stock his own desk with extra peanut butter. It was the kind of wordless support that Maura had always admired about him. Even when it meant he was saddled with desk duty or partnering with Korsack in the field. And that, in Maura’s opinion, was the best part of Jane telling everyone. Jane’s field duty was ended swiftly and effectively by Lieutenant Cavanaugh. Jane had accepted it with about as much grace as Maura had expected. Which was to say she was irritable, restless, and required copious amounts of ice cream. Which Maura kept stocked happily and wordlessly so long as it meant Jane and the baby were safe at their desk upstairs rather than out in the field where any number of things could go wrong. Yes, all in all, Maura was quite grateful for Jane’s cravings. 

Maura’s phone had rung twice before Maura answered it. ‘Isles,’ Maura says, trying to force the sleep from her voice. 

‘Shit,’ Jane mutters darkly into the phone, ‘did I wake you Maur? I’m sorry.’ 

‘It’s alright Jane,’ Maura replies truthfully, ‘did you need something?’ 

‘Nah,’ Jane whispers as though by keeping her voice soft she could lull Maura back to sleep, ‘I’m okay. I shouldn’t have called.’ 

Something in the way Jane says it, as though she feels guilty about it, catches Maura’s attention. ‘I always want you to call me when you need me Jane. Even if I’m sleeping. What is it?’ 

Jane sighs, ‘it’s silly.’ 

‘I doubt that,’ Maura replies sitting up and turning on her light. 

Another sigh, ‘I just…’ Jane hesitates and Maura thinks she might be embarrassed, ‘I’m out of milk. And cereal. And ice cream. I was hoping you might have some.’ 

‘I have ice cream,’ Maura says taking a mental stock of her supplies, ‘and almond milk. I might have some raisin bran as well.’ 

Jane groans loudly in her ear, ‘ugh. Forget about it. I’ll just go to the store.’ 

Maura looks at her clock, ‘Jane, it’s nearly midnight.’ 

‘Yeah,’ Jane says sadly, ‘which means I’m going to have to go to the far store because my store closes at eleven.’ 

‘The far store? You mean the one by my house?’ Maura asks, considering. 

‘Yeah,’ Jane says. ‘It’s okay Maur. Go back to bed.’ 

Maura is moving before she’s even decided what she wants to do. ‘It’s alright. I’ll get it for you. It makes more sense for me to pick it up for you and just stay over than for you to pick it up and drive all the way back. Just text me what you need.’ 

‘Maura,’ Jane begins, ‘you don’t have to. It’s bad enough I woke you.’ 

‘I’m already going Jane,’ Maura replies lightly but firmly, leaving no room for arguments. ‘What cereal did you want? Peanut chocolate balls again?’

‘They’re called Reese’s Puffs Maura,’ Jane says in her most austere tone. 

‘Right,’ Maura says, having finished dressing. ‘Need anything else?’ 

Jane hesitates before adding, ‘more peanut butter? The chunky kind?’ 

Maura chuckles, ‘that’s a given at this point dear.’ The endearment slips easily from her lips and it's only when Jane’s silence echoes through the phone’s speakers that she realises she has said it at all. ‘Jane?’ 

‘Yeah?’ Jane’s tone has an extra kind of husk to it, as though she were emotional. 

Maura wants to ask but she can’t quite bring herself to. Instead she says, ‘be there soon. Alright?’ 

‘Thanks Maura,’ Jane whispers softly, ‘see ya.’ Then her voice sounding distant as though she had gone to hang up but remembered half way through, she called out, ‘remember! Reese’s Puffs.’ The line clicks off and Maura grins. 

Maura was now standing in the cereal aisle just after midnight staring at the ingredients in ‘Reese’s Puffs’ in abject horror. It was sugar and starch. Maura frowned. She could not, in good conscious, feed this to Jane. She also could not, under any circumstance, show up without it. It was a war within her very core. In the end, Maura’s need to please Jane wins out. At least she thinks it does. Until she finds herself back in the cereal aisle grabbing a few boxes of both, a plan forming in her mind. She grabs two of the large jars of peanut butter, chunky, a bunch of bananas and a few apples before checking out. The cashier scans most of Maura’s items apathetically, a passive look on their face but after the sixth cereal box they look up at her as if to confirm. 

‘Pregnancy cravings,’ Maura says self-consciously. The cashier blinks, their eyes drawn to her stomach. ‘Oh,’ Maura says with a blush, ‘not me. My partner.’ The word is out before Maura can correct it. Maura frowns, ‘I mean, my work partner. We work together. We’re not-‘ Maura stops herself when she sees that placid look of apathy returning. She pays and gathers her bags, a peculiar feeling following her from the store. 

Once at her car, however, Maura has more pressing matters than feelings. Carefully, using her doctors kit, Maura uses her scalpel to open all the boxes. She switches the bags from the organic boxes to the name brand before pulling out her adhesive and putting the smallest dab of it on the existing glue. Maura examines her work carefully. The ‘organic’ boxes she puts in her trunk. The ‘Reese’s Puffs’ go back in the bag for Jane. Maura smiles, feeling pleased. The organic brand wasn’t much better but it was better. Maura resolved to keep Jane’s cereal stocked from now on. 

Maura lets herself into Jane’s apartment to find Jane in the kitchen waiting with a bowl and spoon out and the look of an eager puppy on her face. It’s enough to make Maura laugh out loud. Jane makes grabby hands and eagerly grabs a cereal box. For a moment, only a moment, Maura panics. Jane however, tears into the box without a second glance and promptly douses the little cocoa balls in milk. She happily munches down on a bite, making it look so delicious Maura is tempted to ask for a bite. Then Jane adds a giant glob of Peanut butter to the top of the cereal and the temptation is gone. 

‘Fanks, Maur,’ Jane says through a mouthful. Maura lets out another chuckle as she puts the other groceries away. 

‘Better?’ Maura asks when Jane has wolfed down the entire bowl. 

‘Mmmhmm,’ Jane says happily before a large yawn interrupts her. 

‘To bed?’ Maura asks, raising an eyebrow. Jane considers it, glancing at her peanut butter jar in what Maura could call wanton desire. However, a second yawn forces Jane to nod. 

They take turns using the restroom before settling into bed. Maura is almost asleep once more when Jane begins tossing and turning. Maura rolls over to look at the detective. ‘What’s wrong Jane?’ Maura asks softly. 

‘Can’t get comfortable,’ Jane grunts, ‘this belly is huge.’ It’s an exaggeration but Maura understood what Jane meant. 

‘Have you tried a pillow prop?’ Maura asks. 

‘None of them fit right,’ Jane admits quietly, ‘this is why I couldn’t sleep earlier. I just kept tossing and then I got hungry.’ 

Maura considers the problem, determined to find a solution. Jane needed her sleep. ’Do you need a larger pillow or a smaller one?’ 

Jane thinks about it, a soft hum coming from her lips as she does. ‘Higher. And longer. Like a body pillow but firmer.’ 

‘What about a body?’ Maura asks carefully, uncertain how her offer would be received. 

‘What?’ Jane asks sounding offended, ‘no. I don’t want to snuggle with a body. That’s creepy.’ 

‘Oh,’ Maura says, feeling deflated, ‘right. Sure.’ 

‘Plus they’d be cold and smell bad,’ Jane continues. 

Maura frowns interrupting, ‘Jane?’ 

‘Besides it would contaminate evidence and getting a body here without anyone else noticing would be a nightmare.’ 

Maura touches Jane’s arm, ‘Jane?’ 

Jane stills, ‘yeah?’

‘I didn’t mean a morgue body,’ Maura says with a barely suppressed giggle, ‘I meant me.’ 

There’s silence for a moment and then Jane is laughing, ‘that makes so much more sense.’ 

‘I can’t believe you thought I meant a dead body,’ Maura says laughing. 

Jane wheezes next to her, ‘in my defence that usually is what we mean when we talk about bodies.’ 

Maura rolls her eyes, ‘I meant, you could use me to prop up your belly. If it would help.’ 

‘Can’t hurt,’ Jane replies before scooting in. ‘Are you comfortable?’ Maura nods and then Jane begins moving. Maura resists the urge to laugh as Jane effectively builds a nest around them made of blankets and pillows before Jane settles in on top of Maura. Her legs wrap around one of Maura’s. Her belly is propped on top of Maura’s in a pose that Maura would not think is comfortable but Jane heaves out a happy sigh. ‘This okay?’ Jane asks. 

Maura’s mouth is dry and it takes her a moment to call up enough saliva to answer, ‘yeah. Are you comfortable?’ 

‘Mmmhmm,’ Jane says sleepily, ‘first time in a week.’ 

Maura doesn’t know why that pleases her so much, drawing a flush to her cheeks. Maura lets her hand find Jane’s scalp, massaging there drawing out a small hum of approval. ‘Good,’ Maura speaks softly, ‘I am glad.’ 

‘You’re much better than a dead body,’ Jane offers her words slurring from tiredness. 

Maura chuckles, ‘that is good.’ 

‘Thanks Maur,’ are the last words from Jane’s lips before she falls asleep. 

‘Anytime,’ Maura whispers into the dark, sounding very much like ‘every time’ in Maura’s ears. 


	7. August ~ 16 weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Eve! Have some fluff!

A heat wave sweeps through Boston in August and Jane is miserable. Her feet are swollen, her calves and feet have officially merged into one giant cankle which Maura said was impossible but Jane knew for a fact existed. All she had to do was look down, past the growing bump. Worse, Jane’s AC goes out leaving Jane to suffer in a suffocating apartment with her cankles. Jane had coped for forty eight torturous hours and then she had run out of ice cream, frozen fruit, and finally ice. Sheer desperation drove Jane from her home just after midnight. Maura had AC. Maura might even have ice cream. And if Jane asked sweetly enough, Maura would make Jane that chocolate, peanut butter, banana smoothie that Jane loved so much. Jane couldn’t bring herself to ask Maura for the recipe, knowing it likely had healthy things like chia seeds in it. Jane didn’t want to ruin the magic with healthy food. She just wanted cold, chocolatey, peanut buttery goodness. And to elevate her cankles in a house that was not 95 degrees inside, with the windows open and the fans on. 

Relief is immediate, the woosh of cold, air conditioned air, breezing across Jane’s face as she walks in elicits an actual moan from Jane’s lips. The lights are off and Jane assumes Maura has gone to bed. Jane pouts for only a moment as she stares up those dark stairs. She guessed she could wait for morning for the smoothie. Jane tiptoes to the kitchen. She keeps her movements quiet and hushed as she rumbles through Maura’s pantry. She pulls out the jar of organic nutella and Maura’s favourite kale chips. Jane had discovered the pairing at some point in the last week, the flavours balancing each other perfectly, the sweet, salty and bitter flavours made fireworks on her tongue. Jane scoops a spoonful of not-quite nutella into a bowl and pours a handful or two or three or the rest of the bag of kale chips in next to it before settling in at the island, popping her feet up on the chair next to her. Jane moans, smiling as relief washed over her. This was living. 

When she’s cleaned up after herself, Jane sneaks upstairs. More cold air beckons her. Jane frowns, stepping away from the guest room and toward that blessed cool air. Maura’s bedroom unit must be running. Jane hesitates for a moment, only a moment, before pushing her way in. ‘Maur,’ Jane whispers when she’s next to the bed. ‘Maura.’ 

Maura stirs, sleep still thick in her voice, ‘Jane?’ 

‘Yeah,’ Jane whispers, ‘can I sleep with you tonight? It’s hot.’ 

‘Mmmhmm,’ Maura says, shifting slightly to allow Jane to climb into the space she had just occupied. 

‘Thanks Maur,’ Jane whispers. 

‘Mmm,’ Maura groans in acknowledgement, ‘you smell like chocolate.’ 

‘Sorry,’ Jane whispers, ‘I had a snack.’ 

‘I like the way you smell,’ Maura murmurs sleepily. She tugs at Jane’s arm, positioning them in a familiar position so that Jane could prop her body up on Maura. 

Jane grins, snuggling into Maura, finding the only spot that was truly comfortable these days. ‘I like that you have AC.’ 

‘Are you just using me for my AC?’ Maura says, sounding very much like she was ready to fall back to sleep. 

‘And your body,’ Jane teases back. 

’Is good,’ Maura says slurring her words before going silent. 

Jane presses a kiss to Maura’s cheek, ‘night Maur.’ 

The next morning, Maura hums as she packs lunch for herself and Jane. She rummages through the pantry, trying to find her favourite kale chips. She frowns when she cannot find them, ‘Jane?’ Maura asks. 

‘Yeah?’ Jane says looking up from her eggs. 

‘Did you eat my kale chips?’ Maura asks, quaking her head to the side. 

‘Uhhhhh,’ Jane says slowly, ‘yes but I will get you more. Like today. On the way to work. I will get you more now. Does now work?’ 

Maura laughs, ‘I’m not mad at you Jane. I just didn’t know you liked them.’ 

‘Oh,’ Jane says letting out a relieved breath, ‘yeah. I ate them with some of that organic Nutella stuff you buy.’ Maura stares at Jane, her face a mixture of shock and disgust. Jane blushes, shrugging self consciously, ‘what? It tastes amazing. You should try it.’ 

‘That is alright,’ Maura says chuckling as she shakes her head. 

‘I’m serious Maur. It’s salty and sweet and bitter. It’s like a flavour explosion in your mouth,’ Jane makes a boom sound with her mouth as her hands mimic an explosion. 

‘Heightened senses are a part of your pregnancy Jane. Flavours are likely more intense for you.’ Maura begins and Jane thinks she might be getting ready to google mouth when Maura’s nose wrinkles in distaste, ’however, that does not account for your lack of taste.’ 

It catches Jane off guard, startling a laugh from her lips. ‘Wow,’ Jane says, ‘Doctor Isles with a zinger there.’ 

Maura smirks with a kind of quiet pride. Jane can’t help but to notice the little dimple that appears in her left cheek. Jane smiles back. She can’t help it. ‘Did I do it right?’ Maura asks, almost giddy. 

‘Yes,’ Jane says rolling her eyes as she crams in another bite of eggs, ‘you joke good. Say you have any peanut butter left?’ 

'I joke well,' comes the automatic response, coupled with a disgusted expression, ‘and you want peanut butter on your eggs?’ 

‘No,’ Jane says in mock exaggeration, ‘I want peanut butter beside my— oh!’ Jane pauses mid-statement, her eyes lighting up, ‘actually can you make me that peanut butter, banana, chocolate smoothie thing you make?’ 

‘You mean the peanut butter-‘ Maura begins but is cut off. 

‘La la la la la,’ Jane says plugging her ears. ‘I don’t want to know what secret healthy stuff you sneak in while I’m not watching. It’ll just ruin the magic of it.’ 

Maura laughs, ‘okay.’ She tugs gently at Jane’s elbow, pulling one hand from her ears. ‘I promise I will not ruin the magic of it for you.’ 

‘But you’ll make me one?’ Jane asks, hope radiating from her face. 

‘Yes,’ Maura chuckles, ‘I’ll make you a smoothie.’ 

‘Thanks Maur,’ Jane says leaning forward to press a kiss to Maura’s cheek, ‘you’re the best!’ 

And if that kiss happens to leave Jane’s lips and Maura’s cheek tingling, neither one of them mentions it.


	8. August ~ 18 weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby Rizzles is back and oh how I've missed you all! :0) Happy reading!

‘Doctor Isles?’ Susie’s voice interrupts Maura’s concentration, Maura glances up from the microscope she was peering through. 

‘Yes Analyst Chang?’ Maura asks. If it were anyone else, Maura might have sounded short or irritated. She and Susie had been working with each other long enough that Maura no longer worried about monitoring her tone with the analyst. Susie wouldn’t take it personally. 

‘Detective Rizzoli is in your office,’ Susie says looking slightly uncomfortable. 

‘That’s fine,’ Maura says, immediately returning to her microscope. Jane often found her way to Maura’s office, claiming it smelled ‘better’ and liking to ‘spread out’ on the couch. It was actually more surprising that her analyst felt the need to inform her of this information. She’d thought Susie knew Jane had unfettered access to Maura’s office. ‘Tell her I’ll be with her in a moment,’ Maura says, her attention quickly refocusing on the specimen she was watching. 

‘Oh,’ Susie says, ‘not Detective Rizzoli.’ Maura looks up in surprise and confusion. Susie blushes and stammers, ‘I mean, it _is_ Detective Rizzoli with the recent promotion but it’s not _your_ Detective Rizzoli. It’s her brother? Francis? Frank?’ 

‘Frankie?’ Maura asks, straightening up to see her analyst nodding. That _was_ unusual. Especially as he wasn’t currently assigned to an open case or awaiting any evidence. The only other reason Frankie would be in her office would be Jane. Maura’s stomach dropped. What if something had happened to Jane? ‘Can you finish up here?’ Maura asks and she can hear the panic in her voice. She doesn’t wait to see if Susie agrees. She simply takes off, stripping off sterile gloves and taking the hallway at a pace that could only accurately be described as a run in the heels she was in. 

Maura barely manages to get the door open before asking, ‘is Jane alright?’ 

Frankie who is standing in the doorway of her closet whirls to face her, a look of confusion on his face. ‘What? Yeah. She’s fine.’ Maura lets out a sigh of relief, banishing the ache in her heart that came with all of those worst case scenarios in her head. Then she realised _which_ closet Frankie was looking in.

 _The_ closet. The one where Maura had dutifully been storing boxes upon boxes of chocolate peanut butter cereal. She had been switching Jane’s favourite snack with it’s slightly healthier organic form and storing the organic boxes now full of highly processed corn syrup balls here in her office where Jane would never look. Maura looks from the closet to Frankie and back again, panic blossoming again in her chest albeit for a totally different reason. Maura is thinking ‘I can explain’ and ‘you cannot tell Jane’ at the same moment. Her tongue, always slower than her mind says ‘I can Jane.’ 

Frankie, who is staring at her with a look that Maura can’t read raises an eyebrow, ‘you know Jane won’t eat the organic stuff. It’s Reese’s Pieces or death upon the rest of us.’ Frankie grins at her, the dimple and mischievous spark in his eye an echo of his sisters. ‘Also, isn’t this a bit much? Even for Jane?’ 

Maura groans loudly, exhaustion from two successive emotional panics taking it out of her. Maura drops uncharacteristically into her office chair, uncertain how to explain. ‘You must swear to me that you will not, under any circumstances, tell Jane about this.’ 

‘About your super secret stash of organic chocolate peanut butter balls?’ Frankie asks, his eyebrow arching up so high it risked disappearing behind his bangs. ‘Afraid you’ll have to share?’ 

‘Hardly,’ Maura says, her stomach revolting at the idea of consuming the sugary starch. 

Frankie turns back to the closet, pulling out a box to look at. ‘All of these boxes are open but the bags aren’t.’ Frankie pulls out the cereal bag to show her. Maura nods, gulping guiltily. ‘Wanna tell me what’s going on Maura?’ Frankie asks not unkindly, if a bit too much like a cop. He drops the bag back into the box.

‘If you swear you will not tell Jane,’ Maura replies steadily holding the warm brown eyes with her own. 

‘Alright,’ Frankie says sitting down across from Maura, ‘I’ll bite. Jane won’t hear a peep from me.’ He pulls the bag open at the top. 

Maura stares at the man, ‘or Angela. She would simply tell Jane anyways.’ 

Frankie rolls his eyes but gestures for her to go on. Frankie tosses a handful of the chocolate peanut butter balls into his mouth, ‘hey these are pretty good. Almost taste like the real thing.’ 

‘That’s because they are. For months I have been switching the bags from the organic cereal and the Reese’s cereal,’ Maura says it quietly, deadly serious. Of course, when it came to Jane and her chocolate peanut butter balls, deadly serious was an apt description. 

Frankie’s eyes widen, his mouth drops open. His eyes tracked back to the closet where several shelves were filled with opened cereal boxes, ‘what are ya, crazy?’ Frankie asks in a tone bordering on dismay, ‘if Janie ever found out…’ Frankie trails off shuddering at the thought of it. 

‘I know,’ Maura says with emphasis. ‘But I could not allow her to keep eating _that_.’ Maura says gesturing at the box in contempt. 

Frankie stares at the open bag of chocolate balls. ‘So why don’t you just throw them away?’ 

Maura sighs, ‘I hate wasting food.’ 

‘And you don’t want to eat them yourself?’ Frankie asks, popping another handful into his mouth. 

Maura nods in affirmation, ‘and I cannot donate them. They are both open and the wrong content. What if someone had an allergic reaction?’ 

‘So you store them in your death closet where you know Jane won’t look,’ Frankie says. Maura nods glumly. Frankie chuckles as he takes in the closet’s shelves once more, ‘and you’re quickly running out of space.’

‘She _really_ likes her chocolate peanut butter balls,’ Maura says miserably because Jane really did and it was quickly becoming a storage problem for Maura who had already relocated the contents of her closet to a cabinet in the lab. 

‘Alright,’ Frankie says standing and brushing his hands off on his pants. Gallantly he says, ‘I’ll help you.’ 

‘You will?’ Maura says looking up at the younger Rizzoli with gratitude.

‘Sure,’ Frankie says with a grin, ‘it’s for a good cause and I get free cereal outta this. You and Janie have that ultrasound this Friday afternoon right?’ 

‘Yes,’ Maura agrees, ‘at 2 pm.’ 

‘Leave me a key or the door unlocked or something.’ Frankie says it casually, ‘me and Frost will make sure your closet gets emptied and Janie won’t find a drop of it in the station.’ 

Relief radiates off of Maura in waves as she beams up at the younger Rizzoli, ‘thank you Frankie. You have no idea how grateful I am.’ 

Frankie flashes her a smile. He hesitates, his face going pensive before he asks, ‘you’re really doing this with her, aren’t you?’ 

‘Doing what?’ Maura asks, straightening her desk reflexively, her nerves ratcheting up once more. 

‘Pregnancy? Raising a baby?’ Frankie asks. 

Maura frowns, ‘of course, I am. She is my best friend.’ 

‘Sure,’ Frankie says, ‘so I get the whole caffeine thing. It was a nice way to show your support. But you’re shopping for her. Switching her cereal behind her back. Going to her appointments.’ 

‘Well,’ Maura says carefully, ‘I simply want to support her. This can be a difficult thing to go through, much less go through it alone.’ 

‘Yeah,’ Frankie says staring at his box of cereal, his fingers rustling the plastic, ‘but she’s got Ma and me. She wouldn’t be alone.’ 

‘Of course,’ Maura says reassuringly, ‘she is lucky to have you. Both of you. I hope you know that.’ 

Frankie grins at her, ‘yeah, she is. But I meant…’ Frankie quickly looks back at the box, ‘I don’t know. Just… what is it that you want out of this Maura?’ 

Maura frowns, ‘what do you mean?’ 

‘I mean,’ Frankie takes a deep breath, running his free hand through his hair in an exact replica of his older sister, ‘do you want to raise a family with her? Live together? Raise the baby?’ 

‘We have not discussed living arrangements,’ Maura says carefully. She feels as though she is teetering on the edge of a precipice and she is not entirely certain she is prepared to look down just yet. 

‘Okay,’ Frankie says in the same tone Jane uses when she’s placating someone but also pushing them to reveal more information, ‘but what do you want? Would you want the three of you to live together? Because that could be really good, you know, but complicated too.’ 

‘Complicated?’ Maura asks, her heart thumping loudly in her chest. 

‘Well, yeah,’ Frankie says perching on the arm of her chair. ‘Like I can see how helpful it would be. Having someone to help you and support you, someone else to change diapers and take the late night wake ups. I know Ma will help all she can but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about Janie doing all of this alone.’ 

‘So you think it would be a good idea for Jane and I to move in together?’ Maura asks, feeling utterly perplexed by this conversation. 

‘In some ways,’ Frankie says with a shrug, ‘for Jane anyways. But how would you both handle dating? What if you met someone and wanted to get married? Have your own kids? What happens then? What if Jane meets someone? And she wants to move away? Complicated.’ 

Maura sighs. Frankie is right, of course, she knows he is. And yet, something about what he was saying felt so fundamentally wrong. ‘I am afraid I do not have any answers for you Frankie.’ 

Frankie stands, puts the cereal box down on her desk and smiles reassuringly at her, ‘I know. I wasn’t expecting any. I just…’ Frankie lets out a breath, ‘I want to make sure you get what you want too. You know? My sister she’s really lucky to have you but she’s going through a lot right now. She’s leaning on you. And I want to make sure you’re okay with it. That’s all.’ 

Maura smiles, ‘thank you Frankie. I appreciate it. And I will think about it.’ 

‘Right,’ Frankie says, backing out of her office, ‘I’m sure you will.’ Frankie disappears and is gone all of a few seconds before popping his head back in. 

‘Forget something?’ Maura asks patiently. 

‘Yeah,’ Frankie says with a chagrined look, ‘I came down here for Jane. She's stuck in a meeting. She spilled something on her shirt and she said you always keep a change of clothes for her in your closet.’ 

Maura pointed across the office at a closet in which she did, indeed, keep a change of outfit for both her and Jane. Frankie darted to the closet, grabbed the blue button up shirt before darting back out of the office. 

Maura stared into the empty room for a moment. Maura knew what she wanted. What she had wanted from the first moment Jane had handed her that pregnancy test. Maybe it was past time for her to tell Jane what she wanted. Maura considers it for a moment longer before logging on to her computer. She had an idea and, with luck, Maura could make it happen by their appointment on Friday. At least, she could get it started. She supposed whether it would ever be finished was up to Jane. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologise for the impromptu hiatus. The holidays, a sprained wrist, and American politics had me out of it for a while but I am back and you may return to expecting daily/every other updates for this fic during the week. In other news, I have officially begun outlining and writing Counterparts (the sequel to Partners) so be on the lookout for that in the next week or two.


	9. August ~ 18 weeks Part 2

Maura fidgeted as she waited next to Jane in the lobby. She glanced between the watch on her wrist and the clock on the wall willing them to move faster. In between each look, her eyes wandered sideways to where Jane was snacking on kale chips and m&m’s perfectly content. Maura didn’t know how she was doing it. Sitting there, calmly eating her, frankly, disgusting snack and not seeming to care at all that they were about to see on video the little human growing in her belly. Maura didn’t understand how she could be so calm when Maura felt nervous and jumpy and wanted to just barge back there and do the thing herself already. 

‘Rizzoli?’ The nurse calls after what felt like forever. Maura gathers her things, glancing at the clock which reads 2:10 pm. So it had taken them a small eternity. 

‘Here,’ Jane says standing to follow the nurse. Maura follows just behind her. 

‘You’ll need to change into robes, open side forward,’ the nurse says as they approach some makeshift changing rooms with hanging curtains. Jane nods, accepting the robe and stepping into the changing room. Maura stands nearby accepting the pile of clothes that Jane passes out to her. The nurse asks a few cursory questions, confirming details as she leads them back to an exam room. After entering all of Jane’s responses, the nurse leaves them alone promising the ultrasound technician would be with them shortly. 

Maura settles into the chair as Jane hops up on to the exam table, ‘have you considered it any more?’ Maura asks, resuming the conversation they had started in the car. 

Jane sighs, ‘I don’t know. I know you and my Ma and everyone else wants to know but I don’t know.’ 

Maura frowns. She looks at Jane who looks suddenly exhausted by the conversation. ‘I don’t want to know,’ Maura says reassuringly, ‘well I do but mostly I want to support you in what you want Jane. If you don’t want to know then I’ll stand by you.’ 

‘Even though you could just read the ultrasound for yourself?’ Jane asks, a spark of teasing reigniting in Jane’s eyes. 

Maura rolls her eyes for effect, ‘yes. Even though I could read the ultrasound for myself.’ 

‘Are you sure you’re okay with not knowing though?’ Jane asks, sounding nervous, ‘because if you find out then you won’t be able to keep it a secret and my Ma will find out and then it won’t matter that I don’t want to know.'

‘Is that what you want?’ Maura asks clarifying, ‘for it to be a surprise?’ 

Jane considers it for a moment, her dark eyes staring back at Maura. At last, Jane nods. ‘I… yeah. It is.’ 

Maura smiles warmly at Jane, ‘then that’s what I want too. For us both to be surprised.’ 

Jane grins back at Maura before settling onto her back, ‘Ma’s going to be pissed that you took my side.’ 

‘I can live with that,’ Maura says with smile for Jane. ‘Are we still on for dinner at my place after? I have something I want to show you.’ 

‘Yup,’ Jane says making a satisfying smack with her lips. The pleased grin on Maura’s face is covered by the knock and entrance of the ultrasound technician. 

It takes the technician a minute to get set up but then in black and white on the screen in front of them was a little head, little hands, little feet, little body, and most importantly to Maura, a little heartbeat. Maura videos a short clip of the baby moving, squirming to escape the prodding wand. The technician gets several photos of the little person, checking measurements and doing other important things. Maura watches in awe at the little person, her fingers intertwined tightly with Jane’s. And if both of them were crying a bit, neither of them bothered to mention it. 

‘Would you like to know the sex?’ The ultrasound technician asks, their wand frozen just above the appropriate space. Maura turns to look at Jane. She studies the detective’s face: the curve of her lips, the dip of her dimples, the way her eyes are glittering in wonderment. Maura had an exceptionally good memory but Maura knew even if she didn’t, the look on Jane’s face right now was one she would never forget for as long as Maura lived. Jane shakes her head and Maura, true to her word, keeps her eyes locked on Jane’s so she isn’t tempted to see for herself.

The technician finishes, offering Jane a towel to clean the jelly off of her stomach. The technician hands the printed photos to Maura and then bids them a good day. Maura passes Jane her clothes and turns away to give the woman some privacy to get dressed. Maura stares in awe at the photos in her hand. It was really happening. They were having a baby. A sweet precious little baby. Maura can feel the tears coming on again. 

‘Ready?’ Jane asks. Maura turns and smiles because she was. She was more than ready. 

Maura made gnocchi with fresh pesto for Jane for dinner. She had even stocked up on a peanut butter chocolate ice cream that she knew Jane loved. Jane, of course, added more of her chocolate peanut butter cereal and, to Maura’s dismay, kale chips to her bowl. Maura’s hands shook as she cleared up afterward.

‘Are you okay?’ Jane asks, her eyes doing a worried sweep over Maura. 

‘Yes,’ Maura says immediately. She offers Jane a reassuring smile, ‘I have something I wanted to show you and I am simply a bit nervous about it.’ 

‘Okay,’ Jane says, sounding skeptical but willing enough to go along. Maura took Jane’s hand and led her upstairs. ‘Where are you…?’ Jane asks as they pass by Maura’s room. 

Maura stops at the closed door to what had been her guest room. Her hand hesitates over the knob before she allows herself to open the door. This was it. The moment of truth. The moment she told Jane what she really wanted. ‘I wanted to show you how serious I am about being here for you and the baby but I did not want to do it without you so….’ Maura turns the handle and opens the door to the empty room, stripped bare of all furniture. Streaks of pastel paint were on the wall in cooler tested swatches. 

‘Is this…’ Jane’s voice cracks with emotion, ‘a nursery?’ Her eyes are wide, her jaw dropped. 

‘Yes,’ Maura says hopefully, ‘if you want it to be.’ Maura can’t read the look on Jane’s face. Wetness is glistening in her eyes, her cheeks flushed. 

‘You want the baby to have a nursery in your house?’ Jane asks and for a moment Maura wonders if she has overstepped. 

‘I was hoping, actually,’ Maura says softly, hesitantly, ‘ _you_ would consider moving in.’ 

‘You want me to move in with you?’ Jane asks, her voice sounding unusually breathy. 

‘Yes,’ Maura says, ‘it is the most logical solution. That way I can be there for every diaper change and every late night feeding and for whatever else you need. I did consider asking to move in with you and if that is what you would prefer, of course I would be happy to. I just thought, here we would have a bit more space and your mother would be close enough to help. Plus Jo would have a backyard.’ 

‘Maura,’ Jane practically moans, ‘you can’t be serious. You have my mother living in your guest house and now you want me, my dog, and my unborn child to move in with you?’ 

Maura frowns, ‘why would I not be serious about that?’ 

‘Because it’s too much,’ Jane rebuts. 

‘Too much for you?’ Maura asks, quirking her head to the side. ‘Or for me?’ 

‘It’s too much _on_ you,’ Jane says quietly. 

‘Why?’ Maura asks. ‘If I want to do it? If I have the means to do it? Why can I not do this for my best friend? The person who has saved my life on several occasions?’ 

‘Because people don’t just sign up to raise other people’s kids!’ Jane says in frustration, pushing her hand through her hair in a nervous way, ‘kids are dirty and loud and exhausting and people don’t just say ‘hey you and your newborn move in with me’ you know.’ 

Maura frowns, ‘I have overstepped. I apologise.’ Maura moves to close the door, trying to hide the sadness in her heart from Jane’s prying eyes. 

‘You haven’t,’ Jane says, throwing out a hand to stop the door from closing. ‘You didn’t overstep Maur. It’s just…’ Jane takes a step into the room. She examines the paint swatches studiously avoiding Maura’s eyes. The next time she speaks it is in barely more than a whisper. ’This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me… but it’s too much.’ 

‘Why?’ Maura asks again, her own voice soft and filled with emotion, ‘why is it too much? I want this Jane. I want you here, I want to support you, to help you. I want the baby here. I want them to call this home. I want it so badly that it hurts. Seeing them move today? Seeing their picture? I love them so much already. More than I knew was possible. And if us living together means I get to help you then I say we do it. We move in together.’ 

Jane stares at her mouth open. When it’s clear Maura has stopped Jane shakes her head, wild curls flying about her face, ‘what about dating? What about when you want to bring home a guy and I’m sitting on your couch, breast out, nursing a newborn?’ 

The mental image Jane paints is amusing but wrong. So very wrong. Maura tries to figure out what feels so wrong about it. ‘I… that is not… that will not be a problem.’ 

‘How do you know?’ Jane asks, eyes narrowing. ‘How do you know Ian won’t come back or some other love of your life won’t come waltzing in?’ 

Maura feels gut punched. ‘Ian is gone, Jane.’ She says it firmly. ‘Whatever we might have had, whatever we did have. We both walked away from it a long time ago.’ 

‘He could turn up on your doorstep tomorrow and you’d still be in love with him,’ Jane refutes. ‘He could leave it all behind and build a life with you.’ 

Maura blinks once, twice at Jane. ‘That is not true. Even if he did show up, even if I was still in love with him, we could never have a life together. He is a wanted fugitive. He cannot just move to Boston and stay. I am not naive enough to think that he could.’ 

‘But you are still in love with him,’ Jane retorts and Maura feels the anger in it. Maura doesn’t understand why that anger is there or how it could hurt so much.

‘I…’ Maura begins. She stops, considering. ‘I love him, yes. I always will. I am not _in_ love with him. And he is not the person I want to build a life with. You are.’ The words are out before Maura has time to consider them, the weight and meaning behind them. She doesn’t even truly consider her own intentions behind them. They sit heavily in the air between them. Jane’s face was a kaleidoscope of emotions. Anger, sadness, surprise, relief. ‘You may not believe me,’ Maura says at last, breaking the hefty silence, ‘but I meant it when I told you I want to do this with you. All of this. I want to raise a baby with you. Have a family with you.’

Jane looks around again, ‘I believe you.’ She lets out a heavy sigh. ‘I’m sorry. You did something really kind and I’m being an asshole about it. This is sweet Maura. Really, really sweet.’ 

‘But you will not be moving in?’ Maura says sadly, finishing the thought for her. 

‘I…’ Jane starts but stops quickly. ‘Give me some time to think about it, okay?’ Maura nods, affirming that she can do that even if it hurts. Jane continues, ‘I do think a nursery is a good idea. Even if I don’t move in, the baby is going to be spending a lot of time here. They should have a room to call their own.’ 

‘Really?’ Maura asks. 

Jane smiles, ‘I do. Were these the colours you were thinking?’ 

Maura nods, ‘they were my favourites but I have a whole booklet of colour choices if you dislike them.’ 

‘You want me to choose?’ Jane asks. 

Maura smiles, ‘well ideally, yes. I want your input.’ 

‘Then I say we go red sox colours,’ Jane says with a straight face. Maura flinches before catching the mischievous twinkle in Jane’s eyes. 

‘You are teasing me?’ Maura asks because she could cope with a red sox themed room in her house but only if it was truly what Jane wanted. 

Jane chuckles, ‘yeah, I am. Here, I like this one.’ Jane points to a soft smoky green. ‘It’s calming,’ Jane says, ‘and it's very you.’ 

Maura smiles at Jane, ‘I like that one too. Perhaps with this cream.’ Maura gestures at the walls, ‘make them all cream except this one where the crib goes. Make this one an accent wall in that green. Maybe with a slight texture to the paint to make it wispy.’ Maura looks back to Jane to see what she was thinking. Warm brown eyes met her own and Jane’s dimples were on full display. Maura’s stomach flutters. ‘What?’ Maura asks Jane. 

‘Keep going,’ Jane urges, gesturing for her to go on with a flick of her fingers. 

Maura raises an eyebrow but when Jane doesn’t say anything more, Maura continues. ‘I thought it would be complimented by a dark wood furniture with cream and green patterns. The crib would go here. The rocking chair here. On this wall we would put the dresser and changing table. Under the window we could make a book station. Put some soft pillows, hang some book shelves at baby height.’ 

‘I love it,’ Jane says, her eyes not straying from Maura’s face even as the woman gestured from wall to wall. ‘I love it. It sounds perfect.’ 

‘You did not even look where I was pointing,’ Maura points out with a pout. 

Jane shrugs, ‘what can I say, you’ve got great taste. I trust you.’ 

‘I do have great taste,’ Maura says with exaggerated humility. 

Jane chuckles softly before stepping closer to Maura. She opens her arms to Maura in a gesture of vulnerability. Maura is surprised but accepts the hug happily. ‘Seriously, it’s perfect,’ Jane whispers while they’re hugging, ‘thank you Maura. For being here and doing this with me.’ 

‘Of course,’ Maura replies, her hands buried in the fabric of Jane’s shirt. ‘I love you Jane.’ 

‘I love you too Maur,’ Jane replies softly, her gravelled tone sounding huskier than usual. 

The sudden flutter of Jane’s stomach against her own interrupts their hug. Maura sinks to her knees, eyes finding Jane’s to ask permission. Jane nods and Maura flutters her fingers across Jane’s stomach. ‘I love you too little one,’ Maura murmurs softly, ‘seeing you today was a dream come true.’ The responding flutter of movement makes Maura grin up at Jane who was beaming down at Maura. They were really going to have a baby together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a lovely day you lot! :)
> 
> *edit: I wrote 'gender' when I should have written 'sex' so my apologies! It has been corrected but if you spot it incorrectly used, please feel free to let me know and I will correct it!


	10. September ~ 20 weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is coming at you all later then I intended in the day but parenting. Shrug. Happy Saturday friends! :)

Tommy and his crew had been hired to paint the baby’s nursery and Maura had been right. The cream and green were perfect together. Jane felt a sense of calm wash over her every time she looked in the room. It just felt right. Jane had helped Maura choose furniture and fabrics. The crib arrived almost two weeks to the day after Maura had asked Jane to move in. Jane comes home to Maura wearing her workout clothes, her hair tied up in a messy bun, a pencil behind her ear, a screwdriver in hand, wrestling with two pieces of the wood frame, muttering curses under her breath and Jane is torn between laughing and crying. 

‘Oh!’ Maura says looking very much like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar, ‘Jane! You weren’t supposed to see it until it was all set up!’ Maura’s eyes seem to glisten a bit and Jane can sense the woman is on the verge of tears. 

‘And miss you roleplaying Bob the Builder?’ Jane teases, hoping it would ease Maura’s feelings. 

Maura’s lips turn into an instant pout, ‘I am a very competent human, Jane. I have more than an elementary understanding of physics and engineering. I repair my own vehicles. I can name and use every tool in that tool chest,’ Maura nods to the blue box beside her, ‘I am more than proficient with my hands. I have a bloody doctorate. So believe me when I tell you that either those instructions are wrong or there is absolutely no way this crib goes together.’ 

Jane chuckles and says in a teasing pensive tone, ‘you are usually very good with your hands.’ When Maura glares at her, looking ready to either throw something at Jane or burst into sobs altogether Jane holds up her hands in surrender, ‘alright, alright my genius engineer, mechanic, doctor. How about we take a break. Get some food in you and try again in a bit? I always think better on a full stomach.’ Jane holds her hand out to help Maura up. Gratitude flutters across Maura’s face as she sets aside the wood pieces and accepts Jane’s hand up.

‘I suppose,’ Maura says when she’s standing, brushing imaginary saw dust off, ‘taking a break and replenishing my energy reserves is a good idea.’ 

‘Exactly,’ Jane says with a hint of sarcasm as she guides Maura by the shoulders out of the bedroom, ‘gotta refuel that big brain of yours so it’ll work again.’ 

Maura whirls on her with surprising deftness. She points over Jane’s shoulder at the bedroom, ‘my brain is working just fine Jane. It is those instructions. They are nonsensical.’ 

Jane can’t hide the mirth on her face, ‘right. It’s the instructions.’ 

Maura’s eyes narrow, ‘are you making fun of me?’ 

Jane reaches up and tugs the pencil out from behind Maura’s ear. ‘Never,’ Jane says it with mock-earnestness. ‘How could I mock the person building me a crib?’ 

‘You are,’ Maura says eyes widening, ‘you are mocking me.’ 

Jane chuckles, ‘yes, I’m teasing you Maur.’ Jane leans in and presses a kiss to a flushed red cheek. ‘Come on Bob, let’s get some dinner.’ 

Maura huffs, obviously deflating from her earlier emotions, ‘fine.’ She leads the way down to the kitchen. Jane follows, rubbing her aching back as she makes her way downstairs. ‘Jane?’ Maura asks when they arrive at the kitchen island. 

‘Yeah?’ Jane asks looking up to meet hazel eyes. 

Maura nibbles her bottom lip, obviously considering her next words carefully. ‘Who is Bob the Builder?’ 

Jane laughs out loud. She doesn’t mean to. She certainly isn’t mocking Maura but it slips out at the earnestness of Maura’s question. That was Maura. Always wanting to learn, even when that learning was just about one of Jane’s throw away comments. ‘He’s a character from a kids show who builds things.’ 

‘Oh,’ Maura says with a slight blush, ‘that makes sense.’ 

‘What were you thinking?’ Jane asks curiously. 

Maura shrugs noncommittally. ‘Honestly?’ Jane nods in affirmation. Maura continues, ‘my first thought was a male erotic dancer. I know they frequently dress in blue collar uniforms.’ 

‘You thought,’ Jane says, her own cheeks heating up, ‘that I was comparing you to a male stripper?’ 

Maura quirks her head to the left, ‘it did not make a lot of sense.’ 

‘Well gee,’ Jane says in exaggeration, ‘I wonder why Maura.’ 

‘It is not that wild a thought Jane,’ Maura says somewhat defensively, ‘roleplaying can be a perfectly healthy experience in sexual relationships. When you combine that with the heightened hormonal experience that often leads to increased sexual libido in the second and third trimesters, concluding you were referencing an erotic scenario was perfectly logical.’ 

Jane stared at Maura with her mouth open. Leave it to Maura to be casual talking about sexual fantasies. Jane closed her mouth and then opened it again, trying to find the right words to say. There had been something enticing about watching Maura building that crib but Jane highly doubted it was because she was picturing Maura as a male stripper dressed as a construction worker. Jane definitely wouldn’t change Maura’s yoga pants for yellow rip off plastic pants. 

‘Are you alright?’ Maura asks, her face shifting from defensive to concerned the longer Jane remained quiet. 

Jane tried to bring any hint of moisture back to her mouth. She licked her lips before managing to say, ‘I definitely am not talking about my sexual fantasies or my libido with you Maura.’ 

Maura shrugs, ‘why not? I might be able to help.’ 

Jane blinks, staring at Maura as the spark of desire that had been an ember for months seemed to catch. Maura wanted to help her libido? Jane gulped, feeling very uncertain as to what that meant. ‘What,’ Jane clears her throat, ‘uh, what kind of help?’ 

‘Exercises, positions conducive to self stimulation while pregnant, toy recommendations,’ Maura offers as casually as she talked about the weather. 

Jane frowns, a sinking feeling in her gut. ‘Thanks,’ Jane says feeling confused and out of her depths, ‘but, uh, no thanks.’ 

Maura shrugs, offers her a smile, before turning around to wash her hands. Jane stares at the blonde’s back wondering if there would ever come a time when Maura wouldn’t surprise her. Jane struggled to talk about her wants and needs with _her partner._ Maura was offering to help Jane figure out positions just because she thought Jane might need it. It was the sweetest, most awkward, most Maura thing. That was after making Jane a nursery in her own house for Jane’s baby. Jane sighed softly, she would never understand what she did to deserve Maura as a best friend but Jane found herself grateful for this sweet, awkward, wonderful human every day. There really wasn’t anyone else Jane could picture raising a baby with. The thought made Jane smile and settled things in her heart.

‘Hey Maur?’ Jane asks. 

‘Yes Jane?’ Maura asks looking over her shoulder from the fridge. 

Jane smiles a big affectionate smile at her best friend before saying, ‘let’s do it. Let’s move in together.’


	11. September ~ 20 weeks Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible trigger warning: pregnancy dsicrimination in the work place. Probably being overly careful here but eh. I'd rather be overly cautious then accidentally trigger something.

Jane wanted to move in. Maura freezes. Her heart thumps erratically, her fingers tingle on the fridge handle, her mouth feels suddenly dry. Jane’s words crash through Maura’s parasympathetic nervous system first, creating pandemonium in Maura’s body. Though in reality, Maura knew it took mere milliseconds for her auditory system to hear and transmit Jane’s words, it felt like eons to process them. Jane wanted to move in. 

Jane wanted to move in. 

Maura whirled, her cheeks stretched into what was surely the biggest smile she had ever smiled. Her body propelled her forward, tears streaking down her face into Jane’s arms. Endorphins flooded Maura’s body. Jane was moving in. They were going to do it! They were going to be a family! Emotions overwhelmed Maura and her tears fell freely. 

‘These are happy tears, right Maura?’ Jane asks, rubbing Maura’s back gently, her voice anxious. 

‘Yes,’ Maura says, pulling back and offering another bright smile, ‘yes Jane they are happy tears.’ 

‘Good,’ Jane says, nodding once as if that settled the matter. ‘I guess I’ll start packing then.’ 

Maura wipes her tears furiously and nods, ‘I would be happy to help, of course.’ 

‘Thanks Maur,’ Jane smiles warmly at Maura, ‘we can figure out the rest in the morning, okay? Tonight I just want to eat dinner and watch you build a crib.’ Jane sends Maura a teasing grin and a hearty wink. Maura’s happy enough that even the vexing thought of the crib wasn’t enough to damper her spirits. 

Jane, as it turns out, was right. Dinner and some time away did wonders for Maura, even better though, was the company. Fighting poorly written instructions and unwieldy wooden frames was much less frightening when Jane was there with a story or a smile to encourage Maura along. In the end, Maura wrapped an arm around Jane’s back leaning her head on Jane’s shoulder as they stood looking over the finished product. They had a crib and Maura could barely wait to fill the rest of the room with clothes and toys and books and everything else their little human would need to make it a happy, healthy home. Peace and excitement thrummed through every beat of Maura’s heart and filled her veins as she and Jane went about their evening routine, following Maura to sleep where she dreamt of dark brown curls, amber eyes, and soft baby coos. 

Maura is still floating three days later as she makes the Y incision to that morning’s autopsy. Her movements are practiced and concise, her eyes focused, but Maura hummed lullabies as she worked. A curt rap on the door made Maura jump. Jane stood just beyond the doorway, her face a storm of emotion gesturing at Maura. Maura frowned, paused her recording device, stripped herself of gown and gloves before stepping out into the hallway. Jane had been unable to enter the autopsy room for months due to ‘the smell.’ 

‘Jane?’ Maura asks as she steps out, ‘what is it? Is everything alright?’ 

‘No,’ Jane says angrily. ‘They’re replacing me.’ 

‘Who’s replacing you Jane?’ Maura asks for clarification. 

‘The department Maura!’ Jane cries out, tugging Maura toward her office by the elbow. ‘They’re bringing in some new detective to be Frost’s partner while I’m on maternity leave.’ 

‘Is that not to be expected, you will be absent for several months,’ Maura asks, knowing Jane is upset but not entirely certain as to why. 

‘This is why I wanted to keep it a secret!’ Jane says in frustration, the statement striking a chord of amusement in Maura as Jane was showing enough for that to be entirely impossible on her thin frame. ‘They’re going to bring in some new hot shot _male_ detective and the minute I try to come back from desk duty, they’re going to shoot me down and I’ll have lost my spot on homicide to some white asshole who is half as good as I am.’ 

‘I hardly believe Sargent Korsack or Detective Frost would allow you to be easily replaced. Even Lieutenant Cavanaugh speaks very highly of you. You have one of the highest close rates in the state,’ Maura reasoned steadily. ‘Besides, it would be illegal to give away your job as a result of your pregnancy.’ 

‘Gee you don’t say genius,’ Jane dead panned at Maura in a way that told Maura that Jane was well and truly panicked. Jane’s sarcasm only came off as biting when her fear got the better of her. ‘Obviously they aren’t going to write ‘she got knocked up’ on the paperwork Maura. They’ll make up a reason. Say I’m psychologically unfit or something.’ 

Maura sighed, ‘I think you are over reacting as a result of the increased hormones in your body. Sargent Korsack would never let them fire you without a reason. They simply needed a temporary detective to fill your spot until you resume your normal duties.’ 

‘Don’t,’ Jane says staring at Maura with a look Maura hadn’t seen since their fight over Paddy Doyle, ‘don’t tell me I’m overreacting when I have had to fight and claw and climb my way up to detective. Do you know what it means to be the _first_ female detective in homicide? Huh, Maura?’ 

Maura could tell she had spoken poorly, she just wasn’t certain why Jane was upset. Maura was simply stating the facts. ‘No,’ Maura says quietly, ‘I do not. Tell me.’ Maura doesn’t mean it as a challenge but the glint in Jane’s eye tells Maura that she takes it as one. 

‘It means never being good enough. Every one of those men think I’m softer, weaker, slower, and dumber than they are. And now I’m pregnant and useless. I spent years working twice as hard as those guys just to get half as far. And all of that is gone Maura. Gone! Because of this!’ Jane gestures at her protruding belly before pacing the space between Maura’s door and the office wall. ‘Every thing I did to get ahead and now I’m stuck behind a desk!’ 

Maura sighs and settles onto her office couch. ‘Well,’ Maura says, trying to find the proper response. ‘ _If_ that’s true, then men are dumb.’ Jane lets out a wry chuckle and Maura takes it as a truce. ‘Come sit with me?’ Maura asks and when Jane looks like she might refuse, Maura adds, ‘please?’ 

Jane settles onto the couch in a disgruntled huff, slouching. Maura takes one of Jane’s hands, ‘obviously it would be naive of me to think pregnancy will not affect your career. It will. I cannot even say that you will not experience discrimination because of it. You might. But you have people in your corner Jane. You have Korsack and Frost and Frankie. And you have me. None of us are going to let them just give away your job. I promise I will fight with everything I have to make sure you can go back to your job.’ Jane grunts, looking away from Maura as tears begin to fall. Maura squeezes Jane’s hand. ‘I know this pregnancy was unexpected. It is completely normal to be afraid and even resentful but being pregnant does not make you weak Jane. You and your body are doing one of the hardest and bravest things anyone can do. As far as I am concerned, you are not weaker for being pregnant. You are stronger for it. And if I need to prepare a presentation for every one of those detectives who are doubting you, then I will.’ 

Jane snorts, ‘thanks Maur.’ Jane sighs, repositioning herself. Stress oozes from her body little by little. ‘You really think it's just temporary?’ 

‘I do,’ Maura says with a smile, ‘but if it would make you feel better I would be happy to confirm that with the Lieutenant.’ 

Jane considers it for a moment, nibbling on her cheek. At last she shakes her head, ‘nah. Don’t want to give them reason to call me paranoid. Just… can we sit here for a little while longer?’ 

Maura nods, interlacing their fingers before leaning back into the couch to rest her head on Jane’s. ‘Of course we can,’ Maura says softly, ‘for however long you need.’ 

‘You sure? Because if you need to get back to it…’ Jane trails off. 

‘He is already deceased Jane. Expediency is not required in this instance,’ Maura replies steadily. 

Jane smirks, ‘you mean he’s dead and he’s not going anywhere?’ 

’Is that not what I said?’ Maura raises her eyebrow. 

‘Is it?’ Jane asks teasingly, ‘I couldn’t tell with all them big encyclopaedia words.’ Maura laughs, her shoulder bumping Jane’s. Jane chuckles too, a small snort escaping her nose. 

Silence falls easily between them, a reassuring kind of comfort. After a while Jane speaks again, ‘hey Maur?’ 

‘Yes Jane?’ Maura replies. 

‘This is all scary and overwhelming,’ Jane says softly. She doesn’t sound particularly sad though. 

‘I know,’ Maura whispers, pressing a kiss to Jane’s head. 

‘And I am also really excited to meet this kid,’ Jane says rubbing a hand over her belly tenderly. 

Maura smiles into Jane’s hair, ‘I know that too.’ 

‘Mostly, I’m just really grateful I get to do this with you,’ Jane pulls away from Maura to look her in the eyes. Jane’s eyes are watery and her voice is cracking with emotion when she says, ‘I couldn’t do this without you.’ 

Maura’s heart thumps erratically, her fingers tingle where they interlace with Jane’s, her mouth feels dry. There are eons between the moment Jane speaks those words and the moment Maura actually hears them. Maura smiles, overflowing with affection for Jane and speaks the truest words she can think of, ‘and you will never have to, Jane.’ Jane might be afraid but Maura would never let her walk through this alone. Maura smiles, leans in and presses another kiss to Jane’s forehead while her arms wrap Jane up in a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you all know, I really LOVE the next chapter. :) Just to add a bit of a tease to it. Anyways! Happy Monday! Glad you decided to start your week off right with some Rizzles!


	12. October ~ 23 weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, I'm a tease but I also reward your patience with early postings! May this make your mornings!

Jane had started packing just after she’d told Maura yes. She’d taken home boxes from the precinct, packing up things she didn’t think she’d need, stacking them diligently by the door. However, Jane had barely seen Maura in the last few weeks. The Chief Medical Examiner had been attending a symposium out of state and then had been called in to work a multi-victim suspicious death case. Jane wasn’t even sure if Maura had been home herself in the last few weeks. Jane mostly caught glimpses of an overworked and overtired Maura. Even their texting had been strained. Normally, Jane wouldn’t mind but the stack of boxes, some still only half packed, ate at her. 

What if Maura was reconsidering? What if Maura didn’t really want Jane to move in? What if she had thought about it and decided against it? What if she didn’t want to hurt Jane’s feelings by telling her that? Jane knew Maura was usually good at communicating her wants and needs and the rational side of Jane told her to trust Maura. The less rational side reminded Jane that Maura hadn’t told Hope or Constance when they crossed a boundary. Maybe Maura was afraid she would lose Jane if she told Jane not to move in. 

That evening, Jane sat on her couch wishing she could have a beer. Her television wasn’t even on. Jane glared at the boxes, feeling foolish for having started to pack them at all. Of course Maura didn’t want Jane and her unborn child to move in with her. Jane, never one for indecision, stood angrily. She stomped to the top open box and began pulling things back out. She resisted throwing the items back into the closet she had pulled them from. Barely. 

_Bing._

Jane glared at her phone. She wasn’t on call. Wouldn’t be on call again for months. Not when she was a desk thumper. She had no reason to look at her phone. No reason to think it might be important. 

_Bing._

Jane closed her eyes, willing self-pitying tears away. 

_Bing._

Of course if it was her mother, Jane’s phone would continue to ding until Jane turned it off or she answered. 

_Bing._

That decides it. Jane grabs the offending device and opens the screen to a series of texts from Maura. 

**Just made it home.** Followed by: **What are you doing tonight?** That was followed by: **I feel like I have not seen you in forever. Feel like coming over?** Which Maura followed with: **Or I could come to you. I just want to see you.** Jane grinned and a fifth text came in as she read: **I miss you. I come bearing peanut butter.** That one had a silly smiley face attached. 

Jane grabbed her keys, pausing only long enough to respond to Maura. **Missed you too! I’m on my way! No peanut butter required!**

Jane is climbing into her car when her phone dings again. Maura had responded with **Peanut butter is always a requirement! See you soon!** Jane rolls her eyes. The smile on her face is big enough to make Jane’s cheeks hurt. She throws her phone into the passenger seat before starting her car and heading to Maura’s. 

Maura is sitting on her porch, waiting for Jane. She has a cup of, presumably tea, in her hands. A light shawl is covering her bare arms, her feet are bare. She smiles and waves at Jane when she pulls up. Jane takes a moment, only a moment to take in the site of Maura waiting for her. Jane can see the exhaustion on her friend’s face even from here but she looked relaxed. Happy. Jane climbs from the car, her feet propelling her toward Maura before her brain has even caught up. Maura sets her cup aside and stands to offer Jane a hug. Standing on the first step, Maura is tall enough for her arms to be on top of Jane’s. Jane buries her face in Maura’s neck and holds on. She breathes in all Maura and a sense of peace washes over Jane. The baby must feel it too because Jane feels a flutter from them too. 

Maura pulls away chuckling, ‘good evening, you two.’ 

Jane takes a seat on the porch, much less gracefully than Maura had. ’Were you waiting for someone?’ Jane asks teasingly. 

Maura sips her tea, ‘mmm I was. It's been weeks since I saw my favourite person in the world.’ 

‘Sounds rough,’ Jane acknowledges, her husky voice betraying her emotions. Jane hadn’t meant to share so much. 

Maura looks at her, her eyes studying Jane with a soft non-judgemental curiosity. ‘It was,’ Maura replies at last, her hand reaching out to squeeze Jane’s. ‘I am sorry I have not been here for you the last few weeks, Jane.’ 

Jane chuckles wryly, shaking her head. ‘You didn’t do anything wrong Maura. I’m just being emotional. Stupid pregnancy.’ Jane swipes angrily at the tears falling down her face. 

‘What’s wrong sweetie?’ Maura asks softly. Concern is written all over her face. 

Jane sucks in a breath, shaking her head again. ‘I was unpacking boxes.’ 

‘You were unpacking boxes?’ Maura’s confusion is clear. ‘I did not realise you had packed boxes.’ Maura’s frown grows, ‘why were you unpacking your boxes?’ 

Jane shrugs her shoulders in a non-committal way, ‘I got it in my head that you didn’t really want to move in with me.’ 

‘Oh Jane,’ Maura says tenderly. ‘Nothing could be further than the truth. I was actually thinking I am so excited for you to move in so I can see you no matter what time I get home.’ 

‘That would be nice,’ Jane says wiping her face again, ‘I know you’re pretty good at telling me what you do or don’t want. I just… I don’t know.’

‘Come with me,’ Maura says, standing suddenly. She holds out a hand for Jane which Jane accepts. Maura doesn’t drop Jane’s hand even when Jane’s up. She leads Jane inside, up the stairs and into the master bedroom. The lights are off. Maura guides her to the middle of the room and says, ‘close your eyes.’ Jane does as she says. Jane can tell Maura has turned on the lights but she waits, only somewhat impatiently, as she hears Maura’s closet doors opening. A few moments later Maura takes her hand again, ‘you can open your eyes.’ 

Jane does. The left half of Maura’s closet is empty. Jane blinks. Jane’s been in Maura’s closet a million times. She knows Maura’s closet. It was not, nor had it ever been, empty. ‘Maura, you better call the cops. You’ve been robbed,’ Jane says gesturing quickly at the empty side. 

Maura laughs, the sound clear and bright. ‘I have not been robbed, Jane. Your clothes have to go somewhere. I wanted to make sure you had room.’ 

‘You’re giving me half of your closet?’ Jane asks, feeling dumbfounded. 

Maura pulls away, gesturing at a now empty shoe rack, ‘your sneaker collection can go here.’ Maura points at a built in wardrobe on the wall, ‘your sports things here.’ She points to one rack then another, ‘that can be for your work clothes and that one can be for casual wear.’ Maura points at the dresser to Jane’s side, ‘I also made space in the dresser.’

Jane watches as Maura gives her a tour of her new bedroom. _Their_ new bedroom. Jane can’t help when her eyes get watery. Casey had promised Jane a lot. To leave the army. To marry. To love her. To choose her. When push came to shove, he hadn’t followed through. He hadn’t been able to. The army, his career, that was his choice. Maybe that was why Jane had doubted Maura. But Maura wasn’t Casey. 

Maura had chosen Jane. She’d stuck by Jane’s side. She’d held Jane’s hair when Jane was vomiting up her guts, been to every doctor's appointment. She’d gone caffeine and fragrance free. She’d given up her guest house, her guest room, and now? Now Maura was giving up her closet. Her closet. Her happy place. Her place of refuge when she was upset. Maura had given it all up for Jane and she had done it without being asked. Casey made promises he could never keep but Maura kept the promises she’d never made. Maura had chosen Jane. Jane sits down hard on the bed.

‘Jane?’ Maura asks, kneeling in front of Jane, ‘are you alright?’ 

Jane looks at Maura, really looks at her. Her eyes sparkle with more green tonight but there are flecks of brown close to her pupils. Her hair is pulled up into a soft bun, wisps of the blonde hair framing her make up free face. She looks ready for a photoshoot, as always, but there’s something else there too. Jane lets her eyes trace the curve of Maura’s neck, the shell of her ears, the arch of her eyebrows. Maura was beautiful. Really, really beautiful. 

‘Jane?’ Maura asks, her fingers finding the pulse point on Jane’s wrist. 

‘I’m okay,’ Jane whispers, staring in awe at her friend. Jane doesn’t know how she had never seen it before. Maura was beautiful. Not just objectively attractive. But steal your breath away, make your heart beat faster, beautiful. ‘You’re giving me part of your closet?’ Jane forces it out. Maura was beautiful even when it was only fit Jane to see.

Maura smiles at her and Jane’s heart patters at the appearance of the dimple on her right cheek. ‘Well where else would we put your clothes?’ That smile makes Jane smile back. It’s the reflex of years of friendship. Years of taking care of each other, years of bringing each other joy, years of life lived together. Jane sees it all in a flash. The laughter, the cases worked, the tears shared. Jane had never shared anything deeper or more real than the relationship she had with Maura. 

‘I hadn’t thought about it,’ Jane whispers, her hand reaching out impulsively to touch Maura’s cheek. It’s just her finger tips, Jane’s fear forbidding a more brazen response. Maura’s cheek is soft and warm and so enticing. Jane wants to touch it. Wants to caress it. Wants to bring their faces together. Wants to put her lips on Maura’s and feel soft pliant lips beneath hers. And Jane isn’t even all that surprised by the realisation. Jane pulls her fingers away, reading something like uncertainty in Maura’s eyes. Jane clears her throat, pulling herself together. ‘I take it back. _This_ is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.’ 

Maura grins then. It’s full and vivacious and Jane almost, _almost,_ lets herself lean into it. She almost lets her mouth find Maura’s. But she doesn’t. There were years shared between them. Years of trust and love and _friendship_. Jane wouldn’t risk that. She couldn’t risk that. ‘So will you repack your boxes then?’ Maura asks drawing Jane out from her thoughts. 

’Well we can’t let all this closet space go to waste,’ Jane drawls smiling broadly at Maura, trying not to feel deceptive. Jane could never let Maura find out the truth. Everything might have changed for Jane in that moment but she was determined she wouldn’t ruin it for Maura. Maura could never know that Jane was head over heels in love with her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Jane finally realises. Sweet bumbling idiots.


	13. October ~ 24 weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning to you readers, welcome to a world where Madam Vice President Kamala Harris exists.

Moving had been surprisingly easy. Most of Jane’s furniture and home hold goods go straight to the donation pile. Maura had better versions of just about everything Jane owned anyways. Mostly, Jane packed personal items. With the help of the entire Rizzoli clan plus Maura and Frost, they had Jane moved out within a few hours. Tommy drove the truck they had loaded down with bigger items, like Jane’s bike. Frankie and Frost followed in their unmarked cars, back seats laden with clothes. Maura drove Jane and Angela, her SUV full of boxes with a meticulously packed visibility gap. Jane had rolled her eyes but let Maura dictate each box's placement. Jane was mostly useless. Every item she picked up was taken quickly from her arms before she made it very far. Jane suspected Maura had something to do with that, given the concerned looks she kept shooting at Jane. 

Maura parks on the street, leaving room for Tommy to park his truck in the driveway. They assemble at Maura’s front porch and Angela asks ‘so should we move everything to the guest bedroom for you to go through later or do you want it in the living room?’ 

Jane looks at her mother in confusion, ‘what do you mean?’ 

‘Your stuff Janie,’ Angela says it as if it was obvious. ‘Where do you want it?’ 

‘I, uh,’ Jane hesitates. She was moving in with Maura. There was space for her, sure, but this was Maura. She was meticulous. Jane wasn’t sure how to proceed. Thankfully, Maura sweeps in to answer for her. 

‘I will bring Jane a chair and she can direct us where she wants things.’ Maura places a hand on Jane’s bicep. Her hand is warm and soft. It sends tingles up and down Jane’s arms, makes her want to shiver. Jane wishes she would move it, though Jane isn’t sure if she wants Maura to stroke her arm or move her hand away. Jane realises those green eyes are staring at her and she had missed Maura’s next statement. 

‘Sorry,’ Jane mutters, ‘I missed that last part.’ 

Maura frowns, there’s the unspoken question on her face: are you alright? Jane can read it with absolute clarity. It surprises Jane how attuned she is to Maura’s every non-verbal cue. Not for the first time since the closet Jane wonders how long she’s been in love with her best friend. Jane nods and offers a reassuring smile to Maura. ‘Just put things in the room you want them. We can sort out the rest together, okay? I will get you a chair.’ 

‘You sure you’re okay?’ Angela asks, her own eyebrows knitted in concern for her eldest child. ‘You’re making a funny face.’ 

‘Yeah,’ Jane says with a sigh, ‘yeah Ma. I’m fine.’ Jane shoves her hands through her hair. Maybe moving had been easy but living with the woman she was secretly in love with was going to be extremely difficult. 

Then Maura’s back with a chair, a bottle of water and an apple. Jane takes the offered items and when Maura doesn’t walk away, merely raising an eyebrow at Jane before looking pointedly at the apple, Jane takes an obedient bite. She was probably worried about Jane’s blood sugar levels. Jane took another bite and, seeming to have satisfied Maura, watched her best friend walk away. Jane knew Maura better than she knew anyone. Jane could predict with a surprisingly high degree of accuracy what the woman was thinking. She was pretty sure the same was true in reverse as well. 

‘Where do you want these,’ Angela asks from beneath a pile of work clothes. 

‘Master,’ Jane says absently. Jane is so lost in thought she misses the look on her mother’s face. Only when her mother and her teetering clothing pile hasn’t moved does Jane look up again. ‘What Ma?’ 

‘You’re putting your clothes in the master?’ Angela asks for clarification. ‘Is Maura okay with that?’ 

‘Yeah, Ma,’ Jane says rolling her eyes, ‘she cleared some space out for me.’ 

‘Okay,’ Angela says dragging out the vowel. ‘But these are your work clothes honey. Won’t you want them first thing in the morning?’ 

‘Probably,’ Jane says with a shrug while taking another bite of apple. By now Maura has arrived with her own hulking arm load of clothing. 

‘Then wouldn’t you want them in your room?’ Angela asks, confusion clear as day on her face. 

‘That’s what I said,’ Jane replies, feeling flustered as she sees Frost get into line holding a box behind Maura. 

‘You said put them in the master,’ Angela says, her own voice starting to rise in the fluster. 

‘That is her bedroom,’ Maura says helpfully from behind Angela. ‘The guest room is now the nursery.’ 

Angela looks from Jane to Maura and back again. Jane makes a shooing motion at her mother, ‘come on Ma. You’re holding up the line.’ Angela opens her mouth once, twice, then a third time before closing it shut and heading inside. Maura flashes Jane a smile that makes Jane’s stomach flutter in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with the baby before sauntering past. 

Frost lowers his box to the ground in front of Jane for her to look in, ‘so you and Maura are sharing a room, huh?’ 

‘You aren’t going to make some kind of horn-dog comment are you?’ Jane asks rifling through the box of photographs. 

‘Nope,’ Frost says with his signature cheeky grin. Then for reasons that are beyond Jane he winks and picks the box up in one fell swoop. 

‘Master,’ Jane says feeling uncomfortably visible to her partner’s prying eyes. 

Jane is grateful when no one else comments on their living arrangements. Jane is even more grateful when, after a round of beer, a couple of pizzas, and, in her mothers case, several hugs later she can say goodbye to the Rizzoli’s and just be home. Home. At Maura’s. Jane looks around at the living room which was in complete disarray with a handful of partially unpacked boxes. Sitting in the middle of it all, looking casually beautiful is Maura. As though she can feel Jane’s eyes on her, Maura’s eyes find Jane’s and she smiles. It’s a tired smile but laced with satisfaction and the feeling of accomplishment. 

Jane settles on to the couch, a hand on her aching back. She misses the days she could flop into her seat. Sitting down carefully didn’t convey exhaustion with enough emphasis. ‘Hey you,’ Jane says, feeling suddenly shy under Maura’s watching eyes. 

‘Hey,’ Maura says back softly. ‘How are you feeling?’ 

‘Sore,’ Jane retorts before smiling at Maura, ‘but I’m glad to be here.’ Jane freezes. Was that a normal thing to say to your best friend? Was it too much? 

Maura stands, carefully disentangling herself from Jane’s things, she crosses the maze of half unpacked things to come and sit beside Jane. ‘Well,’ Maura says taking Jane’s hand in her own. Jane feels her heart speed up. Her palm is burning hot but she wouldn’t pull it away for anything. ‘Let me be the first to say welcome home Jane.’ Maura leans in and presses a kiss to Jane’s cheek. It’s sweet, and utterly platonic, Jane reminds herself when she can breath. Maura’s lips against her cheek had been so soft, so tantalising. Jane had always liked the press of lips on her skin but it was safe to say she liked Maura’s best. Maura could destroy every defence Jane had with the simplest brush of her lips against Jane’s cheek in the most innocent of manners. Jane couldn’t imagine the things Maura could do if she was trying. Or, perhaps, she could and that was exactly the problem. 

Jane extricates her hand carefully, excusing the move by shoving her hand through her hair. ‘Thanks Maur,’ Jane tries to keep her hands from shaking. ‘Would you mind if I showered and headed to bed? I know everything is everywhere but I’m pretty beat.’ 

‘Not at all,’ Maura says with a smile, ‘I will probably even join you. We can settle all of this later.’ Maura gestures at the general chaos of the living room. 

‘J-j-join me?’ Jane asks, ‘in the shower?’ 

Maura laughs lightly, ‘I meant in getting ready for bed.’ 

‘Oh, right,’ Jane says feeling stupid. Of course her best friend wasn’t offering to shower with her. 

‘Of course,’ Maura says and Jane’s heart skips a literal beat, ‘I do not mind helping you in the shower if you need it.’ Jane nearly chokes on her own tongue. ‘If you are feeling faint that is,’ Maura adds quickly, ‘because if you’re feeling faint and you take a hot shower, it could result in a loss of consciousness which could result in a fall.’ 

Jane shakes her head, mostly trying to clear away thoughts of Maura helping her with a very different problem, ‘uh it’s okay.’ Jane thinks she sees a flash of something on Maura’s face but her aroused brain can’t fathom what, ‘a cold shower is probably what I need.’ For more reasons than one, Jane added mentally. 

‘Right,’ Maura says, her tone casual, ‘well please do not hesitate to call if you need me.’ 

‘Right,’ Jane replies, feeling awkward. Jane pulls herself into a standing position. ‘See you soon?’ Jane asks looking down at Maura. 

‘Mmmhmmm,’ Maura says looking up at her, eyes filled with adoration and tenderness, ‘have a good shower Jane.’

Jane waddles up the stairs, the day's activities making her pregnancy symptoms more pronounced. Once in the master bathroom, Jane strips quickly. She turns on the water, permitting herself a few moments of warmth before turning the water to a more chilly temperature. She needed to control herself. She wasn’t some horny teenager who needed to sneak away to rub one out every chance she got. Jane finishes up, wraps a towel around herself, and looks up to find a very naked Maura standing there brushing her teeth. 

‘I thought I should take a quick shower before bed too,’ Maura says after she’s spit. Jane has never been turned on by toothpaste foam before. She was definitely, absolutely, a horny teenager. 

‘All yours,’ Jane says with a forced smile. She hurries past Maura to the bedroom, looking frantically for her pyjamas. She needed clothes. Clothes and another cold shower and maybe a confession for having very tempting thoughts about her best friend’s very naked, very beautiful body. Jane tugs her shorts on in an angry huff, losing her balance and falling back on the bed. Jane groans. Stupid pregnancy, making it hard to keep her pants on. Jane finishes tugging on her shorts, she pulls on her BPD t-shirt and then she climbs into bed. Jane refuses to watch as Maura comes in wrapped in a towel and dresses in pyjamas that were likely silk and left nothing to be imagined. Jane squeezed her thighs together. Maura flips off the lights before climbing to bed. She holds out an arm expectantly, waiting for Jane to snuggle against her. Jane gulps. Could she handle snuggling with Maura right now? Would she ever be able to handle being in the same room as Maura again. 

‘You coming over?’ Maura asks when Jane has taken too long. She looks at Jane expectantly. Jane doesn’t need the lights on to know the exact hue of green in Maura’s eyes. Maybe it was a kind of forced exposure thing. The more touch she and Maura had, the less sensitive Jane would be to it. It was solid reasoning. Maybe, eventually, they could get back to normal. Well, Jane would get back to normal. Or maybe, a tiny voice in the back of her mind whispered, she could just let herself have this one thing. Maybe she could let herself love and be loved by the person she wanted, if only in the secret dark of night where Maura could not see her face. Jane moves wordlessly into Maura’s arms. They settle into the familiar position and Jane’s concerns for her own motives are carried swiftly away, exhaustion and comfort ushering Jane into her slumber. 


	14. October ~ 24 weeks Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey if you aren't already you should go read Cloudyunicorn698's stuff and leave all the happy comments! There are several great reads in it for you!

Maura wakes slowly, the warmth of Jane’s body bidding Maura to stay a while longer. Maura moves her hand absentmindedly, her fingers brushing Jane’s bare arm. Jane moans softly which makes Maura hesitate for a moment, opening one eye to look down at Jane laying on top of her. When she’s confident Jane isn’t about to wake, Maura resumes her stroking. She felt happier than she ever thought possible to have Jane there. Permanently. Jane’s clothes were hanging in her closet. No nonsense boots and twenty dollar sneakers sat beside Maura’s designer shoes. Her bike was in the garage. Her pictures and decorations were scattered about the house. There was a red sox pennant next to tribal masks. They were an odd combination, Jane and Maura, but to Maura it felt right. And having Jane’s things in their home made Jane’s permanence more real. Maybe it was foolish romanticising but Maura liked seeing the merging of their lives and families into one. Not fully Jane’s, not fully Maura’s, but both of them. 

‘Morning,’ Jane’s voice disrupts Maura’s thoughts. 

‘Good morning,’ Maura murmurs softly. She opens her eyes to see amber brown eyes looking back at her. Maura smiles softly, happily. ‘Did you sleep well?’ 

Jane snuggles in closer. ‘Always do with you,’ the woman says, making Maura chuckle. Then, just as suddenly, Jane’s heat and weight are gone, ‘sorry, gotta pee!’ It only serves to make Maura laugh a little harder. 

Maura stands and begins preparing for the day. She and Jane both had the day off, the idea being to finish settling Jane in over the weekend. Maura slips on her rob and heads down the stairs to start the kettle. Maura pulls out a bowl and Jane’s peanut butter chocolate balls, making a mental note to make another cereal switch soon. By the time Maura has finished with the peanut butter chocolate banana smoothie, Jane has joined her downstairs and is happily munching away at her cereal. Maura pours herself and Jane a glass of smoothie and passes one to Jane. 

‘Fanks,’ Jane says around a mouthful of cereal. 

‘You are welcome,’ Maura says with a smile. Maura is about to ask Jane where she wants to start for the day when her back door opens. 

‘Morning girls,’ Angela calls loudly, not having looked up to see them both in the kitchen. ‘Oh, good,’ Angela says when she realises they were right before her, ‘you’re both here.’ 

‘What’s fhat?’ Jane asks her spoon gesturing at the bags in Angela’s arms. 

‘Groceries,’ Angela says setting her bags down on the counter, ‘and baby shower supplies!’ Angela says baby shower in a high pitched squeaky voice that Maura associated with the woman at her most excited. It also, predictably, caused a scowl to appear on Jane’s face. 

‘No,’ Jane says putting her spoon into her empty cereal bowl. ‘No baby shower Ma. I hate baby showers!’ The last statement came out in a nasally whine.

‘What do ya mean no baby showers?’ Angela asks affronted. Maura demurely takes Jane’s bowl and puts it in the kitchen sink. Maura knew exactly what both women would say just as surely as Maura knew, in the end, Jane would agree to the baby shower to make her mother happy. 

‘I hate baby showers,’ Jane says again glaring at her mother, ‘I hate the stupid guess the due dates and the baby poo or chocolate game and the stupid little baby clothespin collection.’ Jane makes tiny pinching fingers in her mother’s direction, ‘and everyone will want to touch my belly and coo at me like I’m the baby. No Ma. No. Please don’t make me!’ 

‘Jane Clementine Rizzoli,’ Angela says standing to her full height. Maura, who had been putting away the groceries, heard a barely perceptible sigh from Jane. Nothing good ever came from Angela saying full names. ‘You are going to have a baby. People want to celebrate with you! What’s so wrong with that?’ 

‘Ma-‘ Jane tries. 

‘No! You don’t get to interrupt me,’ Angela says with the full authority of a mother lecturing her daughter, ‘there is nothing wrong with letting people celebrate the good things in life. This baby,’ Angela says walking toward Jane’s bump. Jane swats at her mother’s hands. Angela doesn’t push her daughter but she doesn’t give in either, ‘this baby is a miracle sweetie. You don’t have to do this all on your own Jane. Besides, it will be your baby shower. If you don’t want to play games, we won’t have any games.’ 

Jane gives a heavy sigh, ‘alright. Fine. You can throw me _one_ baby shower Ma. I mean it. Just one. Not a family one and a friends one and a co-worker one. _Just one._ And no games!’ 

‘Yes!’ Angela says cheering. She steps into Jane’s space and plants a kiss on her daughter’s groaning cheeks. Then she wiggles Jane’s belly affectionately. ‘Aunt Maura and I will have to start planning immediately!’ Angela smiles at Maura in a conspiratorial manner. Maura smiles back but her eyes are on Jane who is making a disgusted face. 

‘What’d you call her?’ Jane asks. Maura can’t quite read Jane’s tone. 

‘What you don’t like the name Aunt now?’ Angela asks. 

‘No,’ Jane says her nose wrinkling. ‘Maura’s not going to be Aunt Maura.’ 

Maura tries not to show her disappointment. Of course, she and Jane hadn’t talked about her name from the baby and of course Maura wanted Jane to be comfortable with whatever they decided. Still, Aunt Maura had sounded so lovely coming from Angela’s lips. She ducks back into the fridge under the guise of putting groceries away. Jane shouldn’t feel guilted into calling Maura something just because Maura was upset. 

‘Janie,’ Angela says in a tone that belayed her sense of frustration with her daughter, ‘you are living in her house, you’re eating her food, she’s been to every doctor's appointment. I think she’s earned a place in the family. Don’t you? Surely Aunt is the least we can do.’ 

Maura takes a steadying breath before closing the refrigerator and turning to face the two women. ‘That is quite alright Angela. I am happy to be called whatever Jane wants. I am simply happy to be a part of it.’ She smiles brightly at Angela, hoping her hives would wait a while before appearing. She hadn’t precisely lied but her throat still felt tight. 

‘Well, they aren’t calling you Aunt’ Jane says with emphasis, ‘you’re too young and too close to be an Aunt.’ Maura quirks her head to the left, feeling confused by Jane’s statement. 

‘What do you have against your Aunt’s Janie?’ Angela asks her tone offended, ‘your aunts are family. They’ve always been there for you.’ 

‘Aside from all of them being ancient? I haven’t seen half of them since I was a kid Ma!’ Jane retorts, her own anger flaring. ‘This kid is not calling Maura Aunt and that’s final.’ 

Angela and Jane let out matching sighs. Maura knew enough about them both to know the conversation was far from over. This was just the cursory pause.

‘Fine, Janie,’ Angela says, ‘so what is the baby going to call her? Doctor?’ The last words are said with the sarcastic emphasis that all the Rizzoli’s had perfected.

‘No,’ Jane says almost mockingly. 

‘Chief Medical Examiner, then?’ Angela says rising to Jane’s bait. 

‘Maura’s fine,’ Maura offers. It falls on deaf ears. 

‘Yes, Ma,’ Jane says with an eye roll, ‘the baby is going to refer to her as Chief Medical Examiner and they’ll be following in her footsteps, getting their doctorate at the ripe old age of five.’ 

‘That is not actually poss-‘ Maura begins but is cut off.

‘You would be so lucky to have that baby turn out like Maura,’ Angela says. Maura looks from Jane to Angela, uncertain how she had managed to make a compliment to Maura sound so much like an insult to Jane. 

‘Yeah,’ Jane retorts standing up, ‘I would! That’s what I’m saying!’ Maura can’t help the smile on her face. She knew Jane loved her, trusted her, but hearing Jane say she wanted the baby to be like Maura made Maura’s heart swell, metaphorically. Maybe she really didn’t need to be an aunt after all. 

‘So you want your child to live with her, to look up to her, to be just like her but you don’t want them to call her aunt?’ Angela’s voice is thick with emotion and Maura knows that the fight would end soon. Jane couldn’t stand to see her mother cry. 

‘No!’ Jane says throwing her hands up in exasperation, ‘because she deserves a better name, okay. A name that fits. Like… like…’ Jane hesitates, clearly searching for the right word. ‘Like mother!’ With that Jane marches off, leaving both women behind. 

Maura gasps. That had not been what she expected. Of course Maura had every intention of sharing the parenting duty with Jane and of course she wanted to be an important part of the baby’s life. But being equal to Jane? Being a mother? That was exactly what she wanted and more than she had ever dared dream of. 

‘That woman,’ Angela says shaking her head, ‘she can be so stubborn.’ Angela pats Maura’s arm in something like condolences. ‘We’ll figure out names later. I still think you’d make a wonderful Aunt. Maybe even an Auntie.’ Angela winks at Maura, as though the two of them were conspiring. 

Maura feels her stomach sink. She didn’t want to be conspiring against Jane, at least not this time. ‘I am sure Jane and I can figure it out,’ Maura says quietly. ‘But if Jane has a preference of name choice for me then I really do not have any problems with that.’ Then in a move that feels like the suave maneuver her mother pulled at political functions, Maura added, ‘I just want to respect Jane’s wishes and I am certain you do as well.’ 

‘Of course I want to respect her wishes,’ Angela says quickly. 

‘I know you do,’ Maura says with a smile. 

‘You’ll talk to her?’ Angela asks. 

‘Of course I will,’ Maura says assuringly and Maura would. It just probably wasn’t the conversation Angela was thinking it would be. Maura sees Angela out before going in search of Jane. 

In the end, Maura finds Jane in the nursery rocking with Jo Friday. Maura closes the door quietly behind her, sitting down leaning against it, as though to physically bar Jane’s mother from the room. Jane doesn’t say anything. ‘She is gone,’ Maura says softly. She doesn’t add anything more. 

Jane nods and continues rocking for a moment. Her long fingers stroke Jo’s fur, tugging softly at the curls in a way the little dog adored. When they had been silent for a while Jane finally murmurs, ‘I’m sorry. I hadn’t thought about it until Ma called you Aunt Maura.’ 

‘Honestly, I had not thought of it either Jane,’ Maura replies. She takes Jane in, still in her pyjamas, her hair a mess of wild bed crumpled curls. Affection tugs at Maura’s heart. She loved this woman dearly. This wonderful person who had made Maura family every opportunity she got. 

‘I meant what I said,’ Jane says quietly, ‘I get it if it makes you uncomfortable. With the implications of what it means about us or whatever. But if you’re going to be getting up in the middle of the night and changing poop filled diapers and doing motherly things, then you should be called a mother.’ 

Maura’s heart flutters, she can’t help the smile on her face, ‘I would be honoured Jane. Mothering with you would be… it would mean the world to me.’ 

Jane looks at her then, her brown eyes finally meeting Maura’s green. ‘You’re going to be a great mommy Maura.’ 

Maura’s smile grows wider, ‘you are going to be a wonderful Mama Jane.’ 

‘You think I’ll be a Mama?’ Jane asks her head, quirking to the left. 

‘Mmmhmm,’ Maura says with a laugh, ‘and then a Ma when they get older, just like your mother.’ 

Jane makes a face that makes Maura laugh louder, ‘please, never compare me to my Ma again.’ 

‘She means well, Jane,’ Maura says reassuringly, ‘she just does not understand that societal and familial structures are different these days. It is perfectly acceptable for two women to raise a child together and for them both to be a mother.’ 

Jane sighs, sets Jo down on the floor and then fights to stand, ‘I just can’t believe she convinced me to do a baby shower. I _hate_ baby showers.’ 

Maura stands too wrapping an arm around Jane’s waist in affection, ‘but Jane, just think, all the cute baby clothes!’ Jane makes an affronted grumble sound and Maura laughs, grateful that the teasing seemed to be having a positive affect. 

‘Maybe you should be the one having the baby shower,’ Jane grumbles. 

‘I would do that for you,’ Maura says lightly, teasingly, walking her best friend back toward their living room where there things were waiting to be intermingled. 

‘I know you would,’ Jane says tiredly, wrapping an arm around Maura’s shoulders, ‘it’s one of the reasons I love you. That and because of your smoothies.' 


	15. November ~ 26 weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my fluffy no plot baby story went and grew up into a slighty angsty teenager. I dunno what happened. You are, officially entering into the angst. I anticpate it lasting no more than 10 chapters. I do apologise. If you're only here for the fluff ride, gimme two weeks or so and then check back in. :) If you're ride or die, then buckle up and let's ride!

Maura hums as she makes dinner that evening. Maura had been humming a lot lately. She found she could not help herself. She was happy. Content in a way she hadn’t ever known possible. Having Jane live with her was so deeply gratifying. She loved coming home to Jane, loved knowing Jane would be there when she woke. Maura wasn’t certain, never having experienced it before, but she thinks this might just be what family belonging was like. 

There was a knock on her back door followed by the entrance of Angela. ‘Good evening dear,’ Angela says, giving Maura a quick side hug. 

‘Good evening Angela,’ Maura replies with a smile for the woman she considered with motherly affection, ‘how was your day?’ 

‘Oh I had a great day,’ Angela begins, chattering to Maura about running into an old friend. Maura means to listen, she had every intention to, but then Jane comes in after her walk with Jo. She’s bathed in evening sunlight, a halo of light illuminating her dark hair and making her olive skin glow a beautiful bronze. Maura gets distracted. 

‘Hey Ma,’ Jane says leaning down carefully to free Jo from her leash, ‘how’s it going?’ 

‘I was just telling Maura,’ Angela begins again excitedly, ‘that I ran into Elena Abelli today. It’s been such a long time since I’ve seen her.’ 

‘Abelli?’ Jane asks with a frown. ‘How do we know her again?’ 

Angela frowns clearly displeased at Jane’s lack of recognition, ‘you remember.’ 

Jane lets out a heavy sigh as she settles into a seat at the kitchen island. Maura thinks she might be dehydrated so she grabs Jane a glass of water and passes it to her, their fingers brushing in a silent acknowledgement of thanks. ‘No Ma,’ Jane says patiently, ‘I don’t. That’s why I asked.’ 

‘Leonardo Abelli,’ Angela says as though the name should be abundantly familiar to Jane who just shakes her head. ‘Little Leo?’ Angela prompts again to another head shake from Jane. 

‘Who is little Leo?’ Maura asks, deciding to try and circumvent the brewing disagreement. 

‘He was the sweetest little boy. He and Tommy used to play together. When he was about five Leo asked Jane to marry him every day for a week until she finally said yes just to get him to be quiet.’ Angela says it with a laugh, her eyes twinkling as she recalls the memory. 

‘Oh yeah,’ Jane says her own eyes lighting up in recollection, ‘he spent the rest of the school year telling everyone I was his girlfriend!’ 

‘And you couldn’t break his heart and tell him you weren’t,’ Angela says with a grin. 

‘Well that was very kind of you,’ Maura says with a teasing grin and the wiggle of her eyebrows. ‘Way to not crush a five year old’s heart.’ 

‘He woulda been fine,’ Jane says blushing lightly and waving a dismissive hand in the air. She sips her water and studiously avoids Maura’s teasing gaze making Maura laugh. 

‘Little Leo isn’t so little anymore,’ Angela says nibbling on her lower lip, ‘his mom showed me his photo and he’s grown into quite the fine young man.’ Maura feels a twinge in her stomach. 

Jane sets her glass down hard, ’Ma, no.’ 

‘He’s single too,’ Angela says wiggling her eyebrows. 

‘Ma. Come on. I can’t go on a date when my pants require extenders to fit my belly. I can’t.’ Jane says it in a whine and Maura feels that whine in her core. Pregnant women were absolutely entitled to date, even to having sex and enjoying themselves. Being pregnant didn’t negate the need for emotional and physical connections. Of course, telling herself that rationally did nothing to lessen the sickening feeling she felt every time she thought of Jane going on a date. 

‘Believe it or not Janie,’ Angela says haughtily, ‘I wasn’t thinking of _you.’_ Then they both turn to look at Maura. 

‘Me?’ Maura asks in surprise as both pairs of those brown eyes appear to plead with her. 

‘Yeah,’ Angela says in happy confirmation, ‘when was the last time you went on a date?’ 

Maura is saved from answering by Jane. ‘Ma Maura doesn’t need your help getting a date. Have you seen her? She can’t be out in public without men tripping over themselves to ask her out.’ 

‘That is an exaggeration,’ Maura says self-consciously. It seems to be mostly ignored. 

‘Yes, Janie. Maura is beautiful,’ Angela replies, ‘but she’s been so busy helping you that she hasn’t been out in months.’ 

‘That is not true,’ Maura tries to interrupt. 

‘She hasn’t been busy with me, Ma,’ Jane retorts, ‘she just hasn’t found anyone interesting.’ Maura frowns. That wasn’t quite true either. She had met several attractive, interesting men. When it came down to it, Maura just didn’t want to spend making polite small talk with a man she barely knew when she could be home with Jane. Beyond that, her odd work hours kept Maura busy, often forcing her to cancel plans at the last minute. 

‘I think she needs to get out, go live a little. Enjoy her life.’ Angela says it with all the Italian gusto she can muster, ‘who knows, maybe Leo will be the one!’ Angela wiggles her eyebrows in a teasing manner. ‘Don’t you think your best friend deserves to be happy?’ 

Jane rolls her eyes, ‘yes Ma.’ 

‘So don’t you think that if there’s an attractive man, ready to show your attractive best friend a good time, she should at least consider it?’ Angela says her eyes pinning Jane in place. 

Maura feels her stomach drop. This conversation was feeling suddenly wildly out of control. Maura tries to grab hold of it, ‘I happen to be very happy.’ 

‘Sure Ma. I’m not saying she shouldn’t…’ Jane is flustered. ‘I just meant that… I was just saying… I mean… Maura should obviously go if she wants to.’ 

‘I should?’ Maura asks in surprise. She hadn’t expected that. She hadn’t wanted that. Maura wants to cry for reasons she doesn’t completely understand. 

‘Well,’ Jane says, avoiding her eyes, she shoves long dexterous fingers through the mess of curls on her head, ‘yeah. Just because I’m having a baby doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be allowed to date. You should go. Have fun.’ Maura’s heart breaks at that. She turns around quickly, pretending to do the dishes. 

‘So?’ Angela interrupts, ‘is it a date?’ 

Maura isn’t sure she can answer without crying so she simply nods her head. Maura’s not sure why she agrees, nor does she understand why it hurts so much to agree to, but Maura is confident of one thing. No date with a stranger was going to be able to make her hum while she was going about her day, only Jane did that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday! :)


	16. November ~ 27 weeks

Maura goes through the motions of getting ready for her date. She picks out an outfit in Jane’s favourite shade of blue. She does her hair, puts on her makeup all while fighting the desire to throw up. The last week has been a mess. Jane seemed to be avoiding Maura, a feat she was surprisingly good at, considering they now lived together. No matter how early Maura set her alarm, Jane woke earlier. 

At first, Maura thought Jane was mad. Maura had wanted to yell at Jane. What right did Jane have to be mad at Maura for going on a date that Jane wanted her to go on? Maura was just trying to do what Jane wanted her to do. But then Jane hadn’t been mad at all. She had seemed sad, defeated. Maura did not understand. She wanted to. She wished Jane would simply spell it out for her. Maura just wanted to make Jane happy. 

Absent further feedback, Maura is left with no other recourse than to move forward. To go on a date she didn’t want to be on. So she does what she does best. She dons a perfectly and meticulously crafted outfit meant to deflect and distract from the woman inside of it. Jane is walking in the door just as Maura is getting ready to leave. 

‘Wow,’ Jane says, letting out a small gasp, ‘you look amazing Maura.’ Her eyes are soft and full of affection. For a moment, just a moment, Maura wonders if she’s been imagining the last week of disconnect. Then Jane’s eyebrows knit together and she frowns. ‘I guess you’re headed out now?’ It’s a simple question but somehow Jane manages to make it cut deeply. 

‘Yes,’ Maura says fidgeting with the clasp on her purse, ‘we are meeting for a drink and dinner. I should be home no later than 9:30.’ 

‘Right,’ Jane says averting her eyes, ‘well have fun and let me know if you need me to clear out for the night.’ 

‘Jane,’ Maura gasps. She reaches for Jane but stops herself. ‘I would never do that to you.’ 

‘Right,’ Jane says sarcastically, ‘there’s always his place, a hotel, the car.’ 

Maura wants to scream, ‘there are, of course, options. But I meant -‘ Maura cuts herself off because she had meant she wouldn’t be having sex with him at all. Which is somewhat surprising. Maura enjoyed sex. She was accustomed to casual encounters and rarely expected more from her sexual partners. Only Maura hadn’t enjoyed sex with anyone recently. She supposed she had been in a bit of a dry spell. Maura had chalked it up to a decreased libido as she aged and hadn’t given it another thought but perhaps there was more truth in Angela’s words than she thought. Perhaps she had been putting her own needs off for Jane. 

‘Just let me know if you are going to spend the night or whatever so I don’t send out the calvary, okay Maura,’ Jane sneers. Maura flinches then her anger flares. 

‘What is wrong with you?’ Maura snaps, ‘You were the one telling me I should go on this date. Now you are upset because I am going! Well, news briefing Jane! I get to date whoever I want to and I can have sex with whoever I want to and I do not need your approval or your permission.’ 

Jane’s jaw drops. For a moment she looks almost guilty then that Italian fire catches and she snaps, ‘it’s newsflash not news briefing, Maura!’ 

Maura gives her a glaring look before pushing past Jane and heading to her car. She was not having this conversation right now. She did not have to defend herself. Maura slams the door on the way out and marches to her car, she jams her thumb on the start button and then backs slowly down the driveway, careful not to cause an accident in her anger. She makes it two blocks before the tears falling make her driving hazardous. Maura pulls over on a side street, parking in front of some stranger’s house and allows herself to fall apart. She cries thick unrestrained tears, burying her face in her hands. Dating should be fun. It should be enjoyable. Maura whimpers. Dating shouldn’t make you want to sob in your car. 

That decides it for Maura. She sends Leo a quick text telling him she had to cancel. She doesn’t give him an excuse or even more than a cursory apology. It wasn’t exactly Leo’s fault that Maura was sobbing alone in her car but she also wasn’t feeling particularly generous towards him at the moment. Maura throws her phone back down before he has time to reply. She wasn’t feeling particularly generous towards Jane either. Jane had no right to be upset with Maura. Not for this. 

Maura reaches for her phone again. Maybe she wasn’t going on a date but that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy her evening. Jane might be choosing to be miserable tonight but Maura wouldn’t be. Maura opens the contacts app and scrolls until she finds the name she’s looking for. She hesitates a moment before hitting the call button. 

‘Holiday,’ the woman’s cheery voice answers. 

‘Nina,’ Maura says feeling nervous, ‘I was supposed to be on a date this evening and things fell through. Would you feel like grabbing a drink with me.’ 

‘Really?’ Nina sounds surprised, ‘I mean I would love to. I just figured you’d be home with Jane.’ 

Maura hesitates, uncertain how much to share with her new co-worker, ‘we had a disagreement.’ 

‘Oh,’ Nina says, ‘well then yeah. Let’s do it. Just shoot me the address and I’ll be right over.’ 

Maura lets out a breath of relief, ‘thanks Nina! I really appreciate it!’ 

‘Anytime girl!’ Nina responds before hanging up. Maura sighs. She liked Detective Nina Holiday. She was kind and funny. Maura thought Jane would like her too. Nina would know what it was like to make it in Homicide as a woman. Plus Nina had officially been hired to join the tech department, she was only temporarily filling in for Jane on homicide. Not that Jane would hear a word about her. Jane was still refusing to meet the woman. Nina hadn’t taken it personally, which had made Maura like her even better. Maura texted Nina a restaurant close to the precinct before wiping her face and driving off. 

Nina had already ordered a drink by the time Maura walked in, sitting at the table across from her. Warm caring brown eyes take Maura in. ‘Well you look good,’ Nina says whistling lightly in appreciation. 

Maura blushes, ‘thank you.’ 

‘So your date fell through?’ Nina asks, flagging down a waiter. 

‘I…’ Maura searches for the right word. ‘Have you ever found yourself doing something you knew you should not be doing?’ 

‘Sure,’ Nina says with an easy reassuring smile, ‘all the time.’ 

‘Did you ever ask yourself why you were doing it?’ Maura asks. 

Nina waits for Maura to place her drink order before answering, ‘sometimes and sometimes not until way later, when everything had already gone to pieces.’ 

‘That is what happened to me tonight,’ Maura says dryly, ‘I found myself going to a date I did not want to be on to spite a person I do not want to hurt.’ 

‘So,’ Nina says sipping her beer, ‘you cancelled your date to avoid hurting Jane but you aren’t quite ready to kiss and make up?’ 

Maura nods her thanks to the waiter as he passes her her drink. ‘In essence,’ Maura says sadly, ‘yes.’ 

‘And I’m guessing you called me because I’m the only person who won’t tell Jane what you were really doing tonight?’ Nina asks, one eyebrow raised. 

Maura nods miserably. That had been why she had called Nina. ‘I am sorry. I do genuinely want to get to know you,’ Maura offers and while she means it, her heart isn’t entirely in it. 

‘You don’t have to apologise to me,’ Nina says with a smile, ‘people fight.’ 

‘I feel as though I have misled you though,’ Maura says with a frown, ‘lead you here under false pretenses.’ 

Nina shakes her head, taking another sip of her beer, ‘not at all. You needed a friend and you called one. At least, I’d like to think we’re friends.’ Maura nods in affirmation. ’Then as your friend, I’m happy to be here.’ Nina lifted her beer to Maura and tilted it in a salute. 

‘Well,’ Maura says feeling grateful, ‘the least I can do then, is pay for dinner.’ 

‘Sounds good to me,’ Nina says grinning broadly at Maura and for the first time that evening Maura smiled back. 

They ordered more drinks and dinner. They’re dinner has just arrived right around the same time Maura gets a text from Jane: **I’m sorry. I was an asshole. Have fun tonight. I can’t wait to hear all about it!**

The smile that had appeared when Maura had seen who texted her turned into a deep frown as she read it. 

‘That Jane?’ Nina asks, her eyes taking in Maura’s demeanour. Maura nods and sets her phone down, feeling ill. ‘I take it, that wasn’t the response you were hoping for?’ 

Maura closes her eyes and wills the tears away, ‘she was actually quite sweet. She wants me to have a good time.’ 

‘But you don’t want her to want you to have a good time,’ Nina states it rather than asking. 

‘Yes,’ Maura whispers, opening her eyes to stare at Nina, ‘why is that?’ 

Nina shrugs, ‘because you love her.’ 

‘Of course I love her,’ Maura says immediately, ‘she is my best friend.’ 

Nina chokes on her beer. She wipes her mouth with a napkin, ‘I’m sorry. I wasn’t clear.’ 

‘What do you mean?’ Maura asks, quirking her head because Maura did love Jane. Her statement had been truthful. 

Nina shifts slightly in her seat, ‘look, we’re still getting to know each other and maybe I’m running my mouth…’ 

Maura frowns, ‘I did ask for your opinion, it would be remiss of me to judge you for giving me it.’ 

‘As someone who doesn’t know Jane at all and as someone who is just starting to get to know you,’ Nina takes a breath, ‘it seems like you might be _in_ love with her. At least, I thought you two were an item until Frankie and Frost corrected me.’ 

‘That is a common mistake,’ Maura says immediately. She and Jane had frequently been mistaken as a couple. 

Nina’s eyes seem to bulge, ‘okay, well, that’s not normal for best friends Maura. You and Jane are close. Really close. And maybe all those people are picking up on those feelings because they are really there.’ 

‘Jane and I have been through a lot,’ Maura says feeling defensive, ’serial killers and kidnappings and…’ Maura trails off a shiver traveling the course of her spine. 

‘Right,’ Nina says not unkindly, ‘but what does it say about the two of you that when a serial killer obsessed with hurting Jane knows that the best way to hurt her is through you?’ 

Maura shivers as she recalls Hoyt’s threats. He had been quite successfully at injecting Jane with terror. Jane barely let Maura out of her sights for weeks after their interaction with him. ‘I try not to imagine what Charles Hoyt thought of my relationship with Jane,’ Maura says dryly. 

‘Fair enough,’ Nina says. ‘Like I said, maybe I’m way off base here but being in love with her would be a logical reason to be upset that she wants you to date other people.’ When Maura doesn’t respond, Nina continues almost hesitantly, ‘What would you rather have been doing?’ Maura shakes her head in confusion. Too much of what Nina was saying was making sense. ‘You said you didn’t want to go on this date which implies there is something else you would rather have been doing. What would that something be?’ 

‘Making dinner with Jane and watching movies,’ Maura answers quietly. It’s the truth, after all, and Maura could not lie. 

‘And if Jane had asked you to not go on this date? To stay home with her?’ Nina prompts. 

‘I would have stayed,’ Maura completes for her.

‘And how would you have felt about her asking you to stay?’ Nina asks. 

‘That is highly speculative. It hardly seems useful to project my emotions on a situation I have not encountered,’ Maura says. 

Nina sighs, ‘you’re deflecting.’ 

Maura pouts for a moment. Nina was correct, of course, but that didn’t mean Maura liked it. Maura sighs, closes her eyes and pictures Jane telling her not to go. Jane stands in the hallway, a look of fierce pride and quiet desperation warring on her face, as she begs Maura not to go. Maura’s heart flutters in response. There isn’t the slightest hesitation in her heart or mind. She wanted to be with Jane. Maura always wanted to be with Jane. 

Maura opens her eyes slowly, feeling the weight of the world shifting beneath her. Maura loves Jane. Maura was in love with Jane. Maura had been in love with Jane for years. Tears come quickly, she ducks quickly into her napkin, trying and failing to gather her emotions up. 

‘I know you don’t really like hugs,’ Nina says quietly, ‘but I’m here if you need one.’ Maura shakes her head. ‘Wow, you really didn’t realise, did you?’ Nina asks softly. Maura shakes her head again. She should have known. The signs were there but somehow they had all evaded detection. Maura finally manages to calm her breathing. She wipes quickly at her eyes, wiping away the worst of her outburst. 

‘I apologise,’ Maura says in a quiet somber voice, ‘I did not mean to be emotional.’ 

Nina barks out a laugh, ‘it’s okay to be emotional girl, love does that to us.’ 

‘I think I would like to discuss something else.’ Maura says it politely but firmly. She liked Nina. She might even one day appreciate this conversation but at the moment, she needed distance. ‘How is your case coming along?’ 

‘Sure,’ Nina agrees graciously, ‘but if you ever want to talk about it I’m here. You aren’t the only person to fall for your best friend. The case is going well. Frankie and Barry are both so great. Frankie has been showing me the ropes in homicide and around Boston. Barry and I have been comparing techniques in online criminal tracing.’ Maura composes herself as Nina talks. Tugging in wayward strings of emotion and wrapping them tenderly and meticulously in her do-not-go-there box. Maura may not be able to lie but Maura with luck and an aptitude for technical deflections, Jane never needed to know how Maura felt about her. And as long as her box was out, she shoved away every notion that she and Jane could have anything more. She bundled it up, wrapping it neatly in a lie that what she had with Jane was more than enough. Thankfully, Maura thought, she couldn’t get hives from lying to herself. 


	17. November ~ 27 weeks Part 2

Jane spends the first thirty minutes after Maura leaves for her date staring at her pint of ice cream. She had hoped to drown her sorrow in a dairy haze of chocolatey goodness but the first bite is flavourless. Jane thinks that might be the cruelest thing her pregnancy had done to her yet. ‘I gave up beer and caffeine for you,’ Jane says poking her belly lightly. The baby moves a limb jutting back out at her, ‘you can’t take the ice cream too.’ Jane takes another bite but when that yields no flavour either she throws her spoon in the sink and puts the ice cream back in the freezer. Jane does the handful of dishes that had collected throughout the day. Then Jane wanders. 

She prowls the house with a restless energy. She vacuums, even if it meant wrestling with Maura’s overly complicated vacuum. She dusts. Jane even organises her sock drawer. At the hour and a half mark, Jane is all but certain she would go crazy. The woman she loved, the woman her whole heart had devoted itself to without her consent, was out there dating some guy who was definitely not worthy of Maura. 

Jane sighs sadly. Not that she had been acting particularly worthy of Maura either. Maura had been so supportive throughout her pregnancy. Maura always found a way to support Jane. She always had Jane’s back and the one time Maura had wanted to do something for herself, Jane had sulked and pouted like a child. She was cruel and unkind. She had probably made her best friend cry just before her date. Jane groaned. She pulled up Maura’s contact and sent her a text: **I’m sorry. I was an asshole. Have fun tonight. I can’t wait to hear all about it!**

Jane would apologise profusely later, when Maura got home, and then Jane would listen to every minute of Maura’s date. She would gush if Maura wanted it and she would murder Leo if Maura wanted it. Because that was what best friends did and despite what Jane’s feelings were, Maura was her best friend. Jane owed it to her to act like one. Jane wasn’t surprised that Maura didn’t respond. She hadn’t really expected her to. 

Jane hears Maura’s keys in the door at 9:23 pm. Maura ducks to greet Jo first before slipping off her jacket, purse and shoes. She freezes when she sees Jane sitting on the couch watching her. ‘Hey,’ Jane says with a smile. Seeing Maura always made Jane happy. 

‘Hi,’ Maura says shyly. 

Jane stands from her place on the couch and approaches her best friend, ‘I really am sorry. You do so much for me Maur. You’re nothing but supportive and when I had a chance to do the same for you, I failed. You deserve better than that. So please, come, sit. Tell me all about it. You’re home early.’ 

Maura follows her, sinking onto the couch across from her. Maura tucks her knees in beneath her. She wraps her arms around herself and holds herself. It breaks Jane’s heart, seeing Maura holding herself apart from Jane. Seeing Maura hurting and knowing it was her own fault. 

‘So?’ Jane prompts, pulling the blanket she had been using over both of their laps. Maybe Maura wasn’t ready to be held but Jane still wanted her to know she cared. ‘How did it go? What was he like?’ 

Maura drops her hands to her lap and sits up a little straighter, ‘I don’t know.’

Jane smiles in what she hopes is a sympathetic manner, ‘I get that. Sometimes it’s hard to know how dates went. It can be confusing but I’m sure he loved you Maur. What’s not to love?’ Maura turns her head looking at Jane with an unreadable expression. Then, to Jane’s horror, Maura’s eyes begin to tear up. ‘Maur!’ Jane asks in concern, ‘what is it? Was he a jerk? Because if he was I would be happy to arrest him. And his mother. And my mother. I’ll throw them all in a cell together and make them think twice before setting anybody else up on a blind date ever again.’ Maura lets out a haggard chuckle and just when Jane thinks that she might be about to say something the back door opens. 

‘Janie!’ Angela calls sounding absolutely peeved when Jane knew for a fact she had not done anything that bad to her mother recently. Even more perplexing Maura flinches at the sound. 

‘In here Ma!’ Jane replies, raising an eyebrow in a silent question to Maura. Maura looks deliberately away and Jane feels suddenly as though she’s floundering. 

‘What did you say to her?’ Angela starts yelling before she has even arrived, ‘what did you say to Maur-?’ Angela cuts herself off when her eyes fall on the blonde on the couch. 

‘Excuse me,’ Maura whispers, disappearing from the room before Jane or Angela have a chance to respond. 

‘What did you say to her?’ Angela hisses angrily. 

‘What?’ Jane asks in confusion, staring up the stairs after Maura. Something was very, very wrong. ‘What did I say?’ Jane asks rounding on her mother with the full protectiveness she felt for Maura, ‘I should be asking you what this Leo said to her to make her come home in tears.’ 

‘He didn’t say anything to upset her,’ Angela says angrily, ‘because she cancelled on him at the last minute. I assume that’s your fault.’ 

Jane frowns in confusion. That wasn’t right. ‘What do you mean she cancelled? She was out all night.’

‘Not with Leo she wasn’t,’ Angela retorts. ‘You did something stupid didn’t you? She’s your best friend and you can’t let her have one night? One night of fun?’ 

Jane shoves a hand through her hair and lets out a shaky breath, ‘we fought Ma. I didn’t. I wasn’t. It’s not like I was trying to ruin her date.’ 

Angela visibly softens at her daughter’s distress, ‘what happened?’

For a moment, the briefest of moments, Jane considers telling her mother the truth. It passes in a moment of clarity when she realises her mother was absolutely incapable of keeping a secret. ‘I don’t know,’ Jane says quietly. 

Angela looks disappointed in Jane’s answer. Then she sighs and says, ‘believe it or not, that sharp tongue of yours can hurt. So go apologise and make it right.’ 

‘You’re right Ma,’ Jane says, feeling somewhat ashamed. 

Angela clucks her tongue, then she presses a kiss to Jane’s cheek, reminds Jane that she loves her and then mutters good night before letting herself out. Jane takes the steps slowly, debating what she was going to say.

Maura is sitting on the edge of the bed, already in pyjamas, brushing her hair. The only acknowledgement she gives to Jane is the briefest pause in her brushing. 

‘So you cancelled?’ Jane asks, leaning against the door frame watching Maura. Jane had best friends with Maura for years and she could never understand how the woman always looked ready for a photoshoot. Or maybe it was just that Jane was hopelessly in love with her so Maura always looked good to Jane. Jane fights to keep her sigh internal. 

Maura lowers the brush to her lap, ‘I did.’ 

‘Right,’ Jane says softly, ‘and was that my fault?’ 

Maura sighs, ‘no. Yes. Partially.’ Maura looks up at Jane, her green eyes piercing, ‘I never wanted to go on that date.’ 

Jane frowns, ‘then why did you agree to go.’ 

‘Because,’ Maura says, ‘you wanted me to.’ 

‘Well I only wanted you to because I thought you wanted to. If I’d known you didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have told you to go,’ Jane says, her voice quivering in frustration. 

‘I tried to tell you. I tried to tell both of you,’ Maura says her own voice cracking with emotion. 

Jane lets the fight with her mother replay in her head. Jane shakes her head sadly, ‘and you got bull rushed by two strong headed Italians. Jeeze. I’m so sorry Maura.’ Jane steps into the room. She sits hesitantly next to Maura. Not close enough to crowd her but close enough to be present, ‘I should have checked in with you later. I shouldn’t have assumed. I’m sorry.’ 

Maura reaches out and squeezes her hand quickly before removing it again, ‘I realised about two blocks from here that it didn’t matter who Leo was or what he was like. If I didn’t want to be there, I was going to make us both miserable. So I canceled.’ 

‘I’m really glad you did,’ Jane admits softly, ‘you definitely shouldn’t be going on bad dates because me and my Ma stick our noses in your business. So where were you the last few hours.’ 

‘I called Nina Holiday,’ Maura admits quietly. 

Jane can’t help her flinching recoil. ‘The new detective?’ 

Maura nods, tears threatening to fall again, ‘you should get to know her Jane. She is really smart and funny. She is kind too. I like her.’ 

Jane wants to whimper. She wants to be jealous and petty but she figures Maura had had enough of that last week. ‘You like her huh?’ 

‘I do,’ Maura says, ‘I think you would too.’ 

‘What did you guys do?’ 

‘We had dinner and drinks,’ Maura replies, ‘and honestly, it was probably better than a date. She helped me understand some important things.’ 

‘Oh yeah?’ Jane asks, ‘any that you want to share with me.’ 

‘No,’ Maura whispers quietly, firmly, flinching away from Jane as she does.

‘That’s okay Maur,’ Jane says with a reassuring smile for her best friend, ‘you don’t have to. I’m not going anywhere. So what does Holiday do for fun?’ 

Maura smiles tentatively back, ‘she says Frankie and Barry have been showing her around Boston.’ Maura wiggles her eyebrows in a suggestive way. 

Jane can’t help the laugh that comes out, ‘is there another love triangle coming on?’ 

Maura’s smile is slyer now, a hint of teasing in her eyes, ‘maybe. They do seem to share a taste in women.’ 

‘Ick,’ Jane says making a face, ‘I really don’t want to think about my brother or my partners love life.’ 

‘I think Frankie will win out in the end,’ Maura admits quietly. 

‘Oh yeah?’ Jane asks her eyebrows raised in surprise, ‘is that what the data says?’ 

Maura shrugs, ‘it is a working hypothesis.’ 

‘You’re guessing Maur. That’s called a guess,’ Jane teases bumping Maura’s shoulder with her own. ‘So why will Frankie win it?’ 

Maura smiles at her but this time there’s a hint of sadness there that Jane can’t figure out. As though she was looking at something she wanted but could never have, ‘he has that Rizzoli charm.’ 

Jane chuckles, ‘we’re pretty irresistible.’ 

‘Mmm,’ Maura replies steadily. Silence stretches between them. Jane feels the familiar discomfort of sitting with her emotions. Maura begins brushing her hair again. 

‘So,’ Jane asks when she can’t take it any longer, ‘are we okay?’ 

Maura looks at her, those green eyes filled with love and sadness in equal measure. It’s enough to make Jane struggle to breath under the vulnerability of it. ‘Always, Jane,’ Maura murmurs. ‘You are my best friend. You are my future co-parent. Nothing is going to change that. Not miscommunications, not dating, not fighting. You are my family and I love you.’ Jane’s eyes grow wet. It was everything Jane wanted to hear but missing so much more. 

‘You know,’ Jane says her voice husky, ‘that’s true for me too. I know we aren’t perfect. I know we’re going to mess things up and we’re both going to be assholes at times but I love you’ Jane looks Maura in the eyes to make sure Maura hears her, ‘and you are my family too. Forever. Okay?’ Maura nods, turning her head just as tears start to fall. Jane wants to reach out and comfort her but something in the way Maura was turning away, distancing herself, tells Jane not to. ‘Do you want space tonight? I can take the guest bed.’ 

Maura shakes her head no. ‘I,’ Maura clears her throat, ‘I always want you beside me.’ Jane feels her heart swell at that. Such a sweet simple admission. So truthful, so raw, so perfectly Maura. Jane wants to tell Maura right then how much she loves her. How much she is in love with her. Instead, she lets Jo out for one last bathroom break and gets herself ready for bed. Maybe it wasn’t everything Jane wanted with Maura but any life with Maura was better than any life without her. 


	18. November ~ 28 weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the fluff and the last of the slow burn!

It turns out avoiding telling her best friend that she is in love with her is both easier and harder than Maura expected. Jane's natural disinclination of talking about feelings made it an easy subject to avoid. Which meant Maura never had to tell Jane a direct lie. Although Maura had still planned every outfit that week around scarves, had carried Benadryl on her person at all times, and may have also ordered a dozen additional scarves, ascots, and turtlenecks in a desperate attempt to keep her neck hidden for the foreseeable future. It ate at Maura to lie to Jane. Even a lie of omission but as Maura could see no other alternative, she resigned herself to having a new favourite accessory. 

The harder part was knowing exactly how little had actually changed with Jane. Now that Maura could see it, her and Jane’s lives were littered with Maura’s I love you’s sprawled out in invisible looping cursive love notes. It was in the way Maura made smoothies Jane would love and stuffed them with as many greens as she could, in every swapped bag of corn syrup based cereal for organic whole wheat cereal. It was in the soap she used, the lotion she wore. It lived ever present just below her skin, thrumming with equal parts life and sorrow. It was in the brush of fingers, in the comforting tingle of Jane’s skin on hers at night. And with every note she finds, the louder those words seem to sound until Maura can hardly think from the cacophony of noise within her own mind. 

Maura doesn’t know how she never saw it before. How she never knew it before. Maura tries, really tries, to nail down the moment it happened. The moment she fell in love with her best friend. But like most memories, it's vague and elusive. Maura could imagine a hundred moments that would fit. And perhaps they were all real. Maybe that was just it. She hadn't fallen in love with Jane Rizzoli all at once. She has fallen in a thousand moments, a thousand pieces, a thousand times over the years. Every dimpled grin overflowing with good natured mischief. Every moment of unwavering loyalty and infinite goodness. Every time Jane had seen and accepted Maura for who she was, oddities and all. They had all absconded away the pieces of Maura's heart until it was wholly in Jane's possession. Until all Maura could see were love letters to Jane. Love letters that Jane would never read. That was the hardest part: showing Jane she was in love with her in a thousand different ways knowing that I love you was all Jane would ever hear.

Maura shakes her head, clearing her thoughts as she returns to mashing the potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner. Jane passes by, swiping a finger alongside the edge of Maura’s bowl. She throws a wink at Maura before dipping the finger into her mouth and Maura tries, valiantly, not to watch supple lips surround that long slender finger. It’s not overtly sexual. Maura certainly didn’t have any fantasies about mashed potatoes. ‘Mmmm,’ Jane moans and Maura’s heart speeds up to physically painful levels. ‘ts good,’ Jane says slurring her words in a potato haze. 

Maura blushes and studiously watches the lumps in the potatoes disappear before her eyes. 

‘Hey,’ Jane asks, laying a hand on Maura’s shoulder. Her tone is soft, caring. Her amber eyes are swimming in concern and affection. ‘You okay Maur?’ 

‘Yes,’ Maura says, mustering up a grin for Jane. ‘I am simply distracted.’ 

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Jane asks, removing her hand and leaning against the counter, ‘I’m a pretty good listener. I’ve got four ears.’ 

Maura looks up, raising an eyebrow in confusion. Jane chuckles throatily and it’s almost enough to bring another blush to Maura’s cheeks. Jane points to her belly. ‘That hardly counts,’ Maura says dismissively. ‘The baby’s ability or inability to hear has no measurable impact on your ability to perceive auditory stimulation.’ 

Jane wrinkles her nose in disgust. ‘Still not a good enough reason to say stimulation.’ 

‘I thought that rule only applies to the word penetration,’ Maura retorts teasingly.

‘Nope,’ Jane says, taking another swipe of potatoes, ‘all things sexual and technical.’ 

Maura stops mashing to glare at Jane, ‘that is hardly specific enough and if you keep snacking you are not going to have room for dinner.’ 

‘That’s definitely not true,’ Jane says with a grin, ‘I’m eating for two.’ 

‘You only need an increased caloric intake of 300. Given the menu for tonight, I do not anticipate further nutritional supplementsneeded for this afternoon.’ Maura replies steadily. 

‘Okay,’ Jane says with a pout, ‘but there’s a difference between eating for nutritional value and eating to feel full and I never -‘ 

‘Feel full,’ Maura says alongside Jane, ‘I know.’ Maura grabs a bowl and scoops a small portion of potatoes out and passes it over to Jane. Another I love you. Jane grins, her dimples on full display, her eyes twinkling. 

‘You’re the best!’ Jane says emphatically, shoving a full spoonful into her mouth. 

Maura laughs and finishes putting the potatoes in a serving bowl for later, ‘are you talking to me or the potatoes?’ 

Jane freezes, looking for a moment like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar, ‘they’re really good potatoes.’ It’s so perfectly delivered that another laugh is startled from Maura’s lips. Jane’s next bite freezes between the bowl and her mouth, a thoughtful look on her face. She clears her throat and shakes her head, ‘but obviously, I meant you. You’re the best. The potatoes are a distant second.’ 

‘I am honoured,’ Maura says teasingly, ‘I will consider it one of my highest honours. Doctor Isles, Chief Medical Examiner, better than a spud.’ 

Jane chokes, caught by her laughter in the middle of a bite. Maura is by her side in an instant, slapping and then rubbing circles on her back. ‘That,’ Jane says weakly, ‘was pretty good.’ Maura gets Jane a glass of water to clear her throat. ‘Thanks.’ 

‘Are you alright?’ Maura asks, her lips thin with concern. Her eyes follow Jane’s motions as she takes a healthy swallow of water. 

Jane swallows and then smiles at Maura, ‘yeah. You just have to give me some warning before you break out your jokes. Apparently they’re killers.’ 

Maura blinks once, twice, then she asks, ‘was that a joke?’ 

Jane pouts, ‘yeah. Was it not funny?’ 

Maura shrugs nonchalantly, ‘not particularly.’ Then Jane catches the teasing gleam in her eye and they both burst into laughter. 

‘Oh,’ Jane says grabbing her stomach. ‘Hey you,’ Jane murmurs, ‘you want in on the fun too?’ Jane grabs Maura’s hand and puts it on her belly. 

‘Hey little one,’ Maura says softly, ‘you think your Mama is pretty funny, huh?’ The baby moves again, the hard press of its body pushing against Maura’s hand. 

‘Nah,’ Jane says happily, ‘they were laughing at their Mommy.’ She grins down at Maura and Maura suddenly can’t seem to catch her breath. Happy silence stretches between them and Maura would happily have stayed there for hours, marvelling in the wonder of that moment. Somewhere behind Jane a timer goes off, summoning Angela in an act more efficient than magic. 

‘That’s the tur-‘ Angela is saying. She takes one look at the pair of them before squeaking happily, ‘is the baby moving?’ Angela hurries over, ‘Maura, dear, would you pull the turkey out?’ Maura’s place is replaced by Angela’s searching hands and Maura sees Jane throw her an apologetic look. Maura smiles wryly back, as if to ask what could be done. Then she pulls out the turkey. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be. After all, Angela was Jane’s real family. Biologically speaking. They belonged to one another, mother and daughter. 

Maura’s phone rings as she is setting the turkey down. Judging by the ringing coming from the living room, Maura would guess they had a case. She slips the hot pads off quickly and answers her phone.

‘Doctor Isles,’ Maura says automatically. Dispatch informs her of the cursory details and pushes along an address. Maura responds politely, her eyes meeting Jane’s. She watches Jane’s face go from annoyed with her mother, to concerned for Maura, to crestfallen. Maura hangs up, swallowing hard. ‘I’m sorry,’ Maura mouths to Jane. Jane shoots her a wry smile and shakes her head. ‘I’ve been called in,’ Maura says to Angela. 

‘Oh no,’ Angela says sadly, most of her focus still on Jane’s belly. ‘I’ll save you a plate, dear.’ 

‘Hey Doc,’ Frost says sticking his head in, ‘you want a ride? Holiday will meet us there.’ 

‘That would be lovely,’ Maura says affirmatively. She walks around the island. She pauses by Jane, hesitates, almost reaching out. ‘I will see you later,’ Maura promises. 

‘Yeah,’ Jane says reassuringly, ‘I’ll be here. With leftovers.’ She winks at Maura and it’s almost enough to convince Maura that she isn’t devastated. Almost. Maura knows those eyes too well to be fooled. Jane wanted to be on this case. ‘Happy Thanksgiving Maur.’ 

‘Happy Thanksgiving Jane,’ Maura replies with her own brave smile. Maybe she wished Jane was on this case too. 

Maura follows Frost to his car, climbing into the passenger seat. Frost puts his keys in the ignition before hesitating. He looks back at Maura’s house. He sighs heavily, ‘damn. I miss her in the field,’ Frost says it sadly. 

‘Me too,’ Maura murmurs. She pats Barry’s arm in sympathy. 

‘Just a few more months,’ Barry says almost to himself, ‘and then she’ll be back out there kicking ass with us.’ 

‘I imagine so,’ Maura says wryly. She doesn’t say that the thought terrifies her. That as much as she misses Jane, she loved knowing Jane was safe. 

‘Well,’ Barry says as if that ended that discussion. He turns the engine over and heads out, his windshield wiper flicking away the light flurries of snow. Maura watches out of the window as they drive through Boston. ‘So,’ Frost says after some silence, ‘are you excited to meet the baby? Jane said they’re going to call you Mommy. Got real angry when I assumed you would be an Auntie.’ 

Maura smiles at the notion, ‘Jane wants to be co-parents. It is not unheard of in today’s day and age.’ 

‘Sure,’ Frost says, signalling his turn, ‘but it’s not exactly common either.’ Maura concedes the point with her silence. ‘You’re both okay with the connotations it makes about your relationship?’ 

Maura shrugs, ‘people have had connotations about our relationship for as long as we have been friends.’ 

‘Fair enough,’ Frost says, making another turn. Down the street flashing police lights pointed them towards the crime scene, ‘I’m happy for you both. You’ll both be great mothers.’ 

‘Thank you Barry,’ Maura says, meaning it. 

‘And,’ Barry offers quietly as he parks the car, ‘if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here for you. Okay doc?’ 

‘I am afraid I do not-,’ Maura stops herself as the realisation dawns on her, ‘you know?’ 

Barry nods, avoiding her eyes, ‘I had my suspicions. Just didn’t figure it was any of my business but lately you’ve looked like a lost puppy.’ 

Maura frowns. That was not an inaccurate sentiment. ‘Thank you,’ Maura says numbly, ‘I think we should focus on this case though.’ 

‘Sure Doc,’ Barry says with a big boyish grin, ‘I just wanted you to know, you have a friend in me if you need one.’ He slips from the car quickly, giving Maura a moment to compose herself and Maura is beyond grateful for it.

The case is anticlimactic. A suspicious death which Maura quickly determines to be of natural causes. Nina and most of the patrol is sent home. Frost hangs around while Maura organises her paperwork and coordinates for the body’s removal. Ultimately, she and Frost spend more time waiting for the lab techs to arrive to take the body back to the morgue for Maura to autopsy on Friday then they do actually examining the scene itself. Frost drops her off just before midnight with the promise she’ll bring leftovers for him tomorrow. 

There’s no sneaking in with Jo Friday around but Maura lets herself in as quietly as she can, greeting the dog quickly in an effort to not wake Jane. Her efforts are ultimately unnecessary because Jane is awake and sitting at the kitchen table. She smiles warmly at Maura, ‘hey, you’re home. Easy case?’ 

‘Most likely natural causes, I’ll be able to make a definitive call in the morning after I autopsy him,’ Maura replies. ‘What are you still doing up?’ 

‘Couldn’t sleep,’ Jane offers with a sheepish shrug, ‘my body pillow was missing.’ 

Maura chuckles sinking into the chair beside Jane, ‘I am sorry.’ 

‘It’s okay, she was off saving the world,’ Jane says with a playful smirk, ‘so she can be forgiven.’ 

Maura blushes, ‘determining an elderly man with a heart condition died of a heart attack is hardly world saving.’ 

‘But you didn’t know that was what you were going to get when you left here. For all you knew, you could have found a murder victim. You still went and that makes you a hero,’ Jane says the picture of genuine belief.

Maura sighs. She didn’t want to be Jane’s hero for doing her job. ‘Is there still leftovers?’ 

‘Yep,’ Jane says standing, ‘I’ll warm it up for you.’ 

‘Now who is the hero?’ Maura teases lightly. 

‘Me,’ Jane says with a grin, ‘but I’m still going to make you share.’ 

Maura laughs, ‘I expected nothing less.’ Most of Maura’s meals were shared with Jane these days. 

Jane moves about the kitchen, making Maura a plate and warming it up before bringing it and two forks over, ‘one Thanksgiving dinner for ya.’ 

Maura stabs indiscriminately, loading her fork with food and shoving it into her mouth, too hungry to truly care what she was eating, ‘mmmmm.’ Maura says happily. When she’s swallowed she adds, ‘thank you.’ 

Jane happily pulls away a bite of potatoes, ‘I’ve gotcha.’ Jane smiles at her, a shy almost tentative smile. It was rare for Maura to see Jane as anything but confident. It’s almost enough to make Maura pause but she thinks better of asking when her stomach kindly reminds her it hadn’t eaten all day and that Jane would likely resist any attempt to pry. Maura pulls in a bite of turkey and gravy and hums happily. ‘I missed you today,’ Jane admits quietly, ‘Thanksgiving isn’t the same without you.’ 

Maura tries to chew faster, not wanting to speak with her mouth full. When she’s managed to swallow she blots at her lips and says, ‘I missed you too sweetie.’ 

‘I,uh,’ Jane says, her fork pushing at the potatoes more than anything, ‘I had a speech planned.’ 

‘A speech?’ Maura asks, feeling confused. 

‘Yeah,’ Jane says, laying her fork down and shoving a hand through her hair. ‘You know how Ma always does the whole go around the table and say what you’re thankful bit?’ 

‘And you always make a big fuss about how you are hungry and you just want to eat,’ Maura supplies immediately, the argument playing out in her mind's eye. 

Jane chuckles, ‘I just do that to keep things interesting.’ 

Maura smiles back, ‘well you do do that.’ 

‘I actually had something planned this year,’ Jane admits. 

‘You did?’ Maura asks lightly, ‘did you share it this evening?’ 

‘Part of it,’ Jane says, ‘but most of it was meant for you.’ 

‘For me?’ Maura asks, raising an eyebrow. 

‘Mmmhmmm,’ Jane says a blush creeping up over her cheeks. 

Maura takes another bite, allowing Jane a moment to compose herself. When the woman seems to relax once more, Maura teases, ‘do I have to pretend to be your mother and ask you what you are grateful for this year?’ 

Jane shakes her head, amber eyes wide and full of vulnerability, ‘I’m grateful for you Maura.’ It’s so simple, so sweet, so genuine. So Jane. Maura reaches out and takes her hand on instinct. Squeezing gently, willing Jane to go on. Jane squeezes back, ‘I don’t have words to tell you how much you mean to me, how much you’ve done to me, how grateful I am to you. You’re…’ Jane frowns her nose wrinkling her eyebrows furrowing. She makes an incoherent sound and then another. Then Jane lets out a huff, ‘Maura you’re… you…’ Jane lets out another frustrated huff and Maura fights to keep from laughing. Jane notices anyways. ’You can’t laugh at me,’ Jane whines, ‘I’m not good at this feeling stuff.’ 

Maura does laugh at that. She squeezes Jane’s hand, ‘all you have to say is thank you Jane.’ 

‘Thank you Jane,’ Jane parrots back. Maura laughs and swats at Jane’s hand. It collides and the downward momentum forces Jane’s hand to fly down as well, directly into the pile of mashed potatoes on Maura’s plate. It lands with a satisfying smack and Jane’s face has gone from wrinkled disgruntled emotion to surprise. Maura laughs harder. ‘You just spud-ed me!’ Jane says dazedly. ‘Here I am trying to be all nice and mushy and you just spud-ed me.’ Maura covers her mouth with her hands, her laughter continuing to bubble out. Jane pulls her hand out of the potatoes, eyeing her fingers with disdain. She shakes them lightly, flicking the excess on to a napkin. ‘I,’ Jane says punctuating every word with a shake of her hand, ‘can’t. Believe. You. Did. That.’ 

Maura finally manages to breathe in enough air to respond, ‘I apologise, did I mash you?’ 

Jane looks up in surprise, her eyes flying open, her mouth dropping. ‘Did you just spud me and then pun me? Seriously?’ 

Maura feels another burst of laughter coming on, ‘well there is no need to get saucy about it.’ 

Jane groans, ‘you’re the worst.’ 

‘That is not what you told me earlier,’ Maura reminds Jane, ‘I have an excellent memory.’ 

Jane groans louder. Then she breaks her grumpy charade and smiles at Maura, ‘I couldn’t do any of this without you Maura. Even if you did just mash me. So thank you and I love you.’ Then, catching Maura completely off guard, Jane leans in and presses a kiss to Maura’s cheek. It makes Maura’s cheek heat, sends shivers of pleasure up and down her spine, and causes an immediate release of dopamine into her brain. Jane walks away to wash her hand and Maura watches her go. 

Maura was wrong. So very wrong. The hardest part wasn’t writing Jane love letters, it was reading them knowing that all Jane had written was ‘I love you.’ 


	19. December ~ 30 weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFFHANGER. IT'S A CLIFFHANGER! Head my warning!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Graphic description of a car accident 
> 
> PLEASE do not read this if you are not in a good space and place to do so. 
> 
> I will be posting the follow up chapter tomorrow so you won't be hanging from this cliff for long!

_1:12 pm_

_There’s a flash of white before her eyes. Momentum dictates the outcome of this interaction and she knows that there isn’t time to change that. She braces, prepares for impact. The acrid smell of rubber burning fills her nose. The screech of tires on the pavement sounding in her ears._

* * *

12:49 pm 

‘Detective Jane Rizzoli?’ A voice calls from behind her. Jane looks up to see a petite black woman hurrying toward her. Jane swallows a sigh and offers the closest thing to a smile she can muster. ‘Hi,’ the woman says when she approaches. Her smile is bright and contagious. Jane could understand instantly why her brother and partners all liked the woman, ‘we haven’t met yet. I’m Nina Holiday.’ She sticks out a hand to Jane which she takes only slightly begrudgingly. 

‘Holiday. Right. How are you doing?’ Jane asks hoping she isn’t coming off as stinted as she sounds. 

‘Doing alright,’ Nina replies with a shrug, ‘I’m not loving homicide. Can’t wait to get back to my real passion, tech.’ She offers Jane a chagrined smile and Jane appreciates what the woman is doing. Letting her know that there’s no threat or competition. 

‘Yeah,’ Jane says conversationally, ‘the Lieutenant said you’re our new tech expert.’ 

‘I don’t know about expert but I know a trick or two,’ Nina says with a wicked smile that told Jane the woman probably had more than a few tricks up her sleeve. 

‘From Chicago right?’ Jane asks, ‘were you headed for the cafe?’ Jane supposes she might as well bite the bullet and actually get to know the woman everyone in her life was talking about. Even Angela had done nothing but sing the woman’s praises, ‘want to join me for a cup of coffee?’ 

‘Sure,’ Nina says, falling in to step around Jane. ‘Thanks,’ Nina continues, ‘I am from Chicago. I know we haven’t had a chance to meet yet but I’ve heard some pretty incredible stories about Detective Jane Rizzoli, Boston’s first female homicide detective.’ 

Jane groans, ‘well depending on who you’re talking to, they’re either all exaggerated or complete bullshit.’ 

‘Even from Frankie?’ Nina teases. 

‘Especially him!’ Jane says with emphasis and a grin. 

‘I figured,’ Nina says with a chuckle, ‘I didn’t think you’d actually shot yourself on the front steps of BPD to stop a dirty cop.’ Jane flinches but doesn’t say anything. Nina’s eyes go wide. ‘Killed Charles Hoyt?’ Jane shifts uncomfortably. ‘Shot a mob boss?’ Jane winces. Nina looks at Jane with a mix of fear and awe. ‘Turns out Frankie hasn’t just been pulling my leg.’ 

Jane sighs, ‘I’m his big sister, he’s probably embellished it. I was just doing my job Holiday. Nothing heroic about it.’ 

Nina gapes at her, ‘you know, that’s exactly what he said you would say.’ 

Jane lets out another sigh but is saved from answering by Stanley, the cafe owner, asking for her order. Jane gets herself and Frost a coffee before turning to Nina to get her order. As they stand waiting for Stanley to get their drinks Nina asks, ‘bringing one for Doctor Isles?’ 

‘Frost,’ Jane corrects, ‘we’re grabbing lunch. Figured I’d grab him a cup. I know you all got called in early this morning.’ 

‘Yeah,’ Nina affirms, ‘waiting on the doc’s team for some test results.’ 

‘Mmm,’ Jane says, trying to convey both been there, done that and let’s stop talking about this in a single grunt. 

Nina blows right past that grunt, ‘she’s pretty great.’ 

‘She is,’ Jane agrees, because Maura was. 

‘Is she seeing anyone?’ Nina asks it casually, too casually. Jane looks at her sharply. Nina was beautiful. She had kind eyes and an easy smile. From the few minutes they’d been speaking, Jane knew that she was smart enough to keep up and good humoured enough to make Maura laugh. 

Jane takes her coffees from Stanley, taking them to the counter to add cream and sugar. Nina is hot on her heels. Jane feels a flicker of annoyance. Nina looks at Jane expectantly, waiting for an answer. ‘No,’ Jane says gruffly, ‘she’s not.’ 

‘Really?’ Nina says eyebrows raising. ‘That’s a surprise. She’s gorgeous.’ Jane grunts in the affirmatively, stirring her coffee aggressively. ‘I thought you guys were for sure an item.’ 

Jane’s hand jerks, spilling large droplets of hot coffee on the counter. ‘What? Why? What gave you that impression?’ 

Nina sips her coffee, ‘the fact that you’re all she talks about, the way she lights up when your name is brought up.’ 

Jane frowns. Did Maura really do those things? ‘Really?’ Jane asks in surprise. 

‘Yup,’ Nina says, throwing her stir stick away and offering Jane a few napkins to clean the counter. ‘Then I heard you guys were having a baby together. I assumed you were an item.’ 

‘We’re just co-parenting,’ Jane says hating that particular truth. 

Nina shrugs, ‘whatever works for you guys. Not sure I could raise my best friend’s baby without falling in love with her.’ 

Jane throws her napkins away and snaps the lids on her coffee. ‘It’s not for everyone.’ 

‘So,’ Nina says taking another sip. She takes a step away from Jane, almost subconsciously, ‘since you aren’t dating, can I ask her out?’ 

‘What?’ Jane shouts in surprise. 

Nina smiles pleasantly at her. ‘Well,’ Nina says patiently, ‘she’s great, she’s beautiful, she’s smart, and according to you, you aren’t in love with her so…’ 

‘I didn’t say that,’ Jane says in a low growl, shoving a hand through her hair. 

Nina’s grin grows, stretching from cheek to cheek, ‘so you are in love with her!’ 

‘That’s not what I-‘ Jane groans. She lets out a heavy sigh, ‘I don’t like you Holiday.’ It doesn’t have enough bite to it to really scare the other detective. In fact she laughs at Jane. Laughs. 

‘I can live with that,’ Nina says with an impish grin, ‘I thought you might be but a word of advice Rizzoli, if you love her, you better swoop her up before someone else does. You don’t meet a woman like that in every dynasty.’ 

Jane stares at Nina, mouth hung open wide, ‘did you just quote Mulan at me?’ 

Nina laughs, lifts a hand in a wave goodbye and walks off leaving Jane feeling flustered and confused. Not by Nina. Despite her misgivings, her fear of being replaced and the fact that the detective had stuck her nose in Jane’s business, Jane liked the woman. Jane liked her in spite of wanting to not like her. Nina was smart and determined and Jane had the distinct feeling that the other detective was playing Jane. No, Jane was confused because for the first time since _the closet_ Jane wondered if maybe she had been wrong about Maura after all. Nina’s words gave Jane something she hadn’t realised she had been missing for months: hope. 

‘Hey,’ Frost says, interrupting her train of thought, ‘you ready to go?’ 

‘Yeah,’ Jane says, passing the extra coffee over to Frost. He grins, taking a large gulp before pulling a face. He fights to get the liquid down. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ Jane asks. 

‘Did you pour the whole sugar container in it?’ Frost asks. ‘I like it sweet but this is actual sugar sludge.’ 

Jane finds herself blushing. Maybe she had been more distracted talking to Nina then she thought, ‘sorry bud.’ 

Frost drops the cup into the garbage and shakes his head, ‘don’t worry about it Jane. I’ll grab one at lunch. Do you want to drive or do you want me to?’ 

‘You can,’ Jane says, following her partner out of the precinct, her thoughts on a certain hazel eyed doctor working a floor below. 

When they get to the car, he mutters a curse as he pats his pocket.

‘Forget something?’ Jane asks raising an eye in amusement.

‘My phone,’ Frost says, ‘Be right back.’ He unlocks the door and tosses her the keys before heading back inside. Jane starts the car, glancing at the clock on the radio reading 1:01 pm, and thinks about what Nina had said. Maybe, she should just do it. Tell Maura that she loves her, wants to be with her and maybe, just maybe, Maura might feel the same way. Jane grins in spite of herself. What kind of life could she and Maura build together?

Frost climbs in the front seat, ‘sorry about that.’ He waves his phone in explanation.

‘Never thought I’d see the day you left that thing behind,’ Jane teases.

‘I was updating it,’ Frost says sheepishly, ‘but my mom always says there’s no such thing as coincidences.’ He grins at her full of charm and mischief. Jane rolls her eyes as they pull away.

* * *

_Metal on metal screeches. There’s a sickening crunch as the car’s frame folds in on itself, the force of the collision crumpling the metal and plastic frame. The airbags explode in the same moment with a sickening crack._

* * *

12:57 pm 

Maura smiles when Nina walks in, a cup of coffee in one arm and her laptop in the other. ‘Hey Maura,’ Nina says cheerily. ‘How’s it going?’ 

‘Hello Nina, I still do not have your test results,’ Maura replies, accustomed to Jane’s impatience. ‘It will be a minimum of one hundred and twenty minutes.’ 

‘That’s fine,’ Nina says waving a dismissive hand, ‘can’t rush the science.’ 

Maura stares at Nina in surprise, ‘are you sure you are a detective and not a lab tech in disguise?’ 

Nina laughs, ‘are they all so impatient?’ 

One of them was, Maura thinks. ‘Sometimes. So if you are not here for test results, what can I do for you?’ 

‘Well,’ Nina says, taking another sip of her coffee, ‘turns out my partner is having lunch with Jane which leaves me without a lunch buddy. I figured I would see if you were available for lunch.’ 

Maura knew that Jane and Frost had lunch plans together, of course. Maura thought it was good the two remained connected while Jane was out of commission, it kept Jane from going completely stir crazy. Maura had planned to eat lunch on her own in her office while she caught up on a few articles. She considers Nina’s offer quickly, given that none of the tests she currently had running would need her attention for the next two hours, she decides to accept. She could always read her articles later, while Jane was watching the ball game. ‘That sounds lovely. Just let me grab my things.’ 

‘I need to grab mine too. Do you want to drive or do you want me to?’ Nina asks. 

‘I can drive,’ Maura offers with a smile, ‘meet in the garage in ten minutes?’ 

‘Perfect,’ Nina says with a grin, ‘I can tell you about meeting Jane.’ 

‘You met Jane?’ Maura says looking up in amazement. She had expected Jane to continue avoiding Nina until after the baby came and Jane was back on the homicide squad. 

‘Mmmhmm,’ Nina says with a teasing grin, ‘and I totally see why you’re in love with her.’ 

Maura feels heat explode in her cheeks, a blush so strong as to almost be physically painful covering her cheeks. ‘I- that is- I mean- she is- you cannot- she- I-’ Maura stutters.

Nina laughs, ‘totally worth it! See you at the car!’ Then Nina is gone and Maura isn’t sure she has it in her to deal with two mischievous friends. It might actually kill her. 

Maura let’s Susie know where she’s going, grabs her things, and pulls her prius around to the elevator to wait for Nina. The moment the other detective climbs in, Nina picks up right where she left off. ‘Jane is gorgeous,’ Nina says with a grin, ‘I mean I knew that but its different seeing her up close and having all that focused attention on you.’ Nina smirks, ‘which I’m sure you know first hand.’

Maura feels her cheeks blush. She’s not sure she can have this casual of a conversation with Nina. ‘Right,’ Maura says somewhat breathily, buying herself time to respond.

‘I asked her if I could ask you out,’ Nina says with a straight face.

Maura slams on the brakes hard and throws the car into park. She turns to stare at Nina. ‘What?’

Nina laughs, ‘don’t get me wrong, in another time, another world, I would love to ask you out Maura.’

‘I am very confused,’ Maura says helplessly. She didn’t think Nina was confessing to a crush.

Nina grins, impishly, ‘I wanted to see her response. See if maybe your feelings are less unrequited than you think.’

’You asked Jane if you could ask me out in an attempt to trigger an emotional response?’ Maura asks clarifying.

‘Yup,’ Nina says with a pleased look on her face.

I am not going to ask, Maura tells herself. She looks in her mirrors, glances at her dash to shift to drive, noting that its just after 1 pm. She carefully removes her foot off the brake and focuses on driving, pulling out of the parking garage.

‘You’re being very good,’ Nina teases lightly, ‘not even asking.’

‘Maybe I do not want to know,’ Maura suggests. It is not exactly a lie so she doesn’t have to worry about hives.

‘Not likely,’ Nina says and Maura can see her bright smile in the peripheral vision. ‘You just respect Jane too much to ask.’ Maura doesn’t disagree. ‘I can respect that,’ Nina goes on, ‘and I don’t want to give her feelings away for her. So I won’t tell you what her feelings are but I will tell you that she definitely has feelings about the idea of me asking you out. Strong feelings.’

Maura frowns. Strong feelings are not inherently positive or negative and Maura doesn’t know how to interpret Nina’s words. Maura signals her turn.

‘You’re overthinking it,’ Nina teases.

Did that mean? Maura wonders, the faintest ray of hope breaking through, could Jane possibly have feelings for Maura too? It was a hypothesis. She’d have to analyse the data but if Nina was saying something might be there…. Maura shakes her head. That was a thought for later. Maura makes her turn, her mind on Jane.

* * *

_There’s a crack and then a pop as the airbag deploys. The skin on her face burns from the friction of the airbag crashing against it. Pain swells in her nose, exploding across her face. There’s a groan of pain from somewhere inside the car, the sound distorted by the layers of airbag in her face and the ringing in her ears. She tries to clear her head, tries to shove the air bag away, tries to see through the wreckage but darkness is closing in. Her vision blurs at the edge, her ears go from ringing to roaring. She’s losing the battle and she knows it. The last thing she sees is the clock blinking 1:13 pm._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the time jumps make sense. Trying something new as a writer to challenge myself. 
> 
> The italicised car crash divided in to the three sections is all one scene happening to one, as of yet, undisclosed, character. Everything else is happening immediately before it.


	20. December ~ 30 weeks Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE ARE STILL MID-CLIFFHANGER 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Car accident, trauma response, drunk driving, injury, blood. 
> 
> While I did strive to be realistic in this, I am in no way saying it is medically accurate. Jane, the baby and Frost will all be okay because I say they will be regardless of medical realism.

_Jane tries to clear her head, tries to shove the airbag away, tries to see through the wreckage but darkness is closing in. Her vision blurs at the edge, her ears go from ringing to roaring. Jane’s losing the battle and she knows it. The last thing she sees is the clock blinking 1:13 pm and Maura’s face is the only thing on her mind._

* * *

Maura finishes the turn coming to a complete stop behind a line of cars. Traffic is at a standstill. She frowns, a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. Maura scans the road ahead, looking for the reason for backed up traffic in the middle of the day on a typically less busy street. She spots a white truck spun out in the middle of the road. An accident, then, she decides. 

Maura signals and parks on the side of the road, hazard lights on. ‘It looks like there’s an accident ahead,’ Maura explains. She pulls her hair back into a ponytail. Then she rolls up the sleeves of her jacket. ‘I have road flares and cones in the back, if you would grab those after you call it in,’ Maura grabs her medical bag and exits the car.

From her position Maura can see only the white truck, spun out and sitting diagonally in the road, blocking traffic from flowing on either side. Maura can’t see what it hit but she assumes there’s another car behind it. Maura pulls a pair of gloves from her bag. She loops her stethoscope around her neck and approaches the driver side window of the white truck. A man is slumped over the steering wheel. Maura winces when she doesn’t see an airbag deployed. A glance tells Maura the rest of the truck is empty. She grabs the handle of the door tugging. It doesn’t budge. Nina has caught up with her now, coning off this side of the road. Maura asks peering into the cab window trying to detect any sign of life. Movement, breath, anything. ‘Can you check the other car?’ 

‘Sure,’ Nina says, taking in the damage to the drivers side before walking away, ‘think he survived?’ 

Maura doesn’t answer. She doesn’t have an answer for Nina. That was why she needed to get in the door. Maura frowns considering her options. Hopefully the passenger door would open, otherwise she’d have to break the window. 

‘Maura!’ Nina calls, her voice pitched to be heard but Maura would have heard it anyways. There’s raw panic in the detectives voice. 

Maura grabs her bag and takes the corner of the car at a run, preparing herself for a mass casualty event based on the panic in Nina’s voice. 

It’s worse. So much worse. 

Maura takes in the black unmarked car, the driver's side crumpled in, having taken most of the damage. She knows it as well as she knows her own car. Maura freezes. Her heart rate spikes and a heavy dose of adrenaline pumps through her nervous system. Maura can hardly breath. She knows without seeing, a terrible pain in her stomach, but she forces herself to look. Slumped onto the airbag in the driver's seat she sees the form of Barry. His dark skin, a stark contrast to the white of the airbag. She can see splotches of red, even from here. 

Maura whimpers. She wills her eyes to stay on Frost’s form because she already knows who is slumped just to his right. She knows but if she could keep herself in this moment then it wouldn’t be real. Traitorously, her eyes move right. They take in those recognisable dark curls and her knees go weak. 

‘-repeat, officers down,’ Nina’s words break through Maura’s haze. Those two words that Maura feared more than anything. It spurs Maura into action. 

She shoves her emotions away. Panic wouldn’t help anyone here. Maura stiffens her spine and then moves as quickly as she can toward the sedan, triaging in her mind as she goes. The truck was bigger and suffered less damage, plus the driver did not have an airbag minimising chances of survival. The sedan had two passengers with deployed airbags. Two over one, two takes precedence. 

Three, Maura’s brain supplies drawing another whimper to Maura’s lips. She couldn’t think about _that._

The primary problem was access. Frost’s side had taken more damage, accessing him would be difficult. So she goes to Jane. She tries to tell herself it’s professional management and anyone trained in triaging would do the same but Maura isn’t sure she could have made any other choice. Not when it came to Jane. 

She wrenches open Jane’s door, looking over her slumped form to see Frost’s window already partially busted. ‘Can you find something to break the rest of Frost’s window?’ Maura asks of Nina as she reaches in to assess Jane. 

‘Jane,’ Maura speaks firmly, controlling the worst of her emotions, ’can you hear me.’ Maura can feel a pulse, she times it against her watch quickly, satisfied. Maura grabs her light, peels back an eyelid to check Jane’s pupils. She breathes a sigh of relief when Jane’s eyes are responsive. ‘Jane,’ Maura calls softly, her hands moving, checking, assessing. ‘Jane, love, come back to me.’ 

Jane groans and relief floods Maura’s system. 

‘Yes!’ Maura says, ‘that is it baby. Come back to me.’ The pet name doesn’t even register. 

‘Will this work?’ Nina asks, Maura looks back to see a rock. Crude but effective enough. 

‘Yes,’ Maura says, try to clear the pane enough for me to reach in but be careful of his face. Maura curses the cage between the front and back seats. It’d be simpler to go in that way. 

‘Maur,’ Jane moans. 

Maura strangles a sob, ‘yes baby. I am right here.’ There’s a crash of glass as Nina clears the pane. 

‘Maur,’ Jane says in a strange whimper. 

‘That is good Jane,’ Maura says, ’that is good. Keep talking to me baby. Keep talking, okay?’ 

‘Clear!’ Nina calls. 

Maura sniffs, shoving back at the emotions flooding her, ‘great. Now the truck. Passenger is fine.’ Nina nods and runs off. 

‘Maura,’ Jane says, eyes blinking open, ‘truck.’ 

‘Yeah, baby, there was a truck,’ Maura says. ‘I have to go help Frost now. I need you to stay absolutely still, okay?’ 

‘Mmmgh,’ Jane groans, ‘not my favourite body pillow.’ 

Maura lets out a strangled sound, some cross between a whimper and a chuckle. Jane teasing was good. Very good. ‘Keep talking to me, okay Jane? Tell me about the Sox this year.’ 

‘Not baseball season,’ Jane says with a soft chuckle. Maura gives Jane one last look over, her heart throbbing. She needs to move. Needs to check on Frost. Maura closes her eyes, steels herself and then does the hardest thing she has ever done. She walks away from Jane. 

Maura reaches carefully through the window, leaning forward to take his pulse. She checks his eyes and sighs a breath of relief when they too respond. Maura wasn’t one for praying but in that moment, she would happily offer her thanks to any Deity who would accept them. ‘What sport season is it Jane?’ Maura asks loudly. She evaluates as much of Barry as she can. There’s a large shard of glass in his upper left arm. 

‘Football,’ Jane says, ‘bet the Pats win the bowl.’ 

Maura stabilises the shard with gauze, to be removed by surgeons later. ‘Are the Pats our team Jane?’ 

There’s another shatter of glass and Maura can see Nina opening the truck door through the passenger window. 

‘Pats are Boston’s team,’ Jane says with as much conviction as she can manage. ‘Can I move yet?’ 

‘Not yet, Jane. Stay exactly as you are.’ Maura finishes with Frost and pulls out of the window waving Nina over. 

Nina comes at a run, ‘how can I help doc?’ 

‘Talk to the detectives,’ Maura says, ‘do not move them.’ 

‘You got it. Ambulance should be close, two minutes tops,’ Nina says before going over to Jane’s side. 

Maura pulls off her gloves, throwing them into an evidence bag and putting them in her medical bag before tugging on another pair. She crosses the space between the car and slips into the truck's passenger door. The smell of booze is overwhelming. Maura’s entirely unsurprised to find herself stepping into a liquid puddle of brown substance. Maura ignores her now ruined shoes and reaches for a pulse. Maura frowns when she can’t find it. She slips her stethoscope off and shifts to find an angle. There’s a faint pulse. Maura doesn’t like that. Maura moves within the cab, slipping into the back seat, leaning forward to find the man’s eyes. She peels back one eyelid to peer into a bloodshot eye. There’s no response. Maura moves her light again, double checking. 

Maura notes the time and then climbs back out. There was nothing she could do for him. He’d be dead within minutes as his body shut down, his brain too damaged to continue basic bodily function. The chances for a meaningful recovery were so low as to be impossible. 

Maura slips quickly from the truck, switching her gloves again as she makes her way back to the unmarked. ‘Dead?’ Nina asks, reading the look on Maura’s face. 

‘Beyond our help,’ Maura supplies. Maura hears the approach of sirens. ‘Nina,’ Maura says, ‘I need two neck stabilisers.’ 

‘Got it,’ Nina says dashing off toward the parking ambulance. 

‘No,’ Jane moans, ‘I hate those. Itchy.’ 

Maura shakes her head, ‘tough luck, until I have personally seen every inch of your spine you are wearing one.’ 

‘Noooo,’ Jane groans in a whine. It makes Maura smile in spite of herself. 

‘What have you got, Doctor?’ The EMT behind her asks and Maura is grateful for Nina already explaining things.

Maura starts with the biggest emergency, Frost. ‘Detective Barold Frost, African American male, age 33, has not regained consciousness, equal and responsive pupils. Foreign body stabilised in the left upper arm. No known allergies. O positive blood type. Extraction required.’ Maura points to Jane, ‘Detective Jane Rizzoli, caucasian female, age 34, regained consciousness on scene, equal and responsive pupils, no outward signs of trauma. 30 weeks pregnant, no foetal assessment. No known allergies. A positive. No extraction required, clear to move after a spinal exam.’ Maura then points to the white truck, ‘John Doe, white male, mid forties, weak pulse and fixed pupils. Likely DOA.’ 

‘Maura?’ Jane asks, ‘The baby? What did you say about the baby?’ 

Maura whimpers, ‘I could not reach, sweetie. Not without hurting you. But I will, as soon as you are out of there. Okay? I promise I will check as soon as I can.’ 

Maura moves aside, letting the EMT’s get to work. She steps back, taking in the carnage of the scene for the first time. There are skid marks, burnt black into the road. Shards of fiberglass and metal litter the street. Nina had set up cones and road flares to block off the scene. Patrol officers were directing the flow of traffic around the accident. The smell of burnt rubber and hot metal is thick in the air. Maura pulls off her gloves, dropping them into yet another evidence bag. 

It doesn’t take Maura’s mind long to see the physics in the tire tracks and to extrapolate from the current positioning of the car and the damage done to each car what had happened. The truck crossed in front of the detectives car, braking late through the intersection and swerving. Barry must have seen the truck and made a split second decision, the tire tracks swinging hard to right, slamming Barry’s side into the bulk of the truck. Maura frowns. Why would Barry do that. He must have known there wasn’t time to stop. He put himself at considerable more risk by turning. Maura looks back up at the sedan, surrounded by people working on dismantling the car to get the detective out. Then she looks right, where Jane was now sitting up. 

Maura gasps, her hands covering her mouth. Barry had swerved right. He swerved to save Jane’s life. It was the only explanation. He knew he could not stop, knew he couldn’t save them both, so he made the choice. Maura’s skin tingles, goosebumps rising on her arms, a rush of gratitude flooding Maura’s system. Maura owed Barry Frost everything. 

‘She’s out doc!’ The EMT calls and Maura looks back to see Jane lying on the gurney. Maura rushes over. She kisses Jane quickly, impulsively, without even a second thought. Then she feels Jane’s belly. Her heart beats painfully in her chest, feeling more like a throb than a heart beat in her own chest. 

‘Are they okay?’ Jane asks, her eyes looking worriedly up at Maura, ‘Maura?’ 

‘Shhh,’ Maura says both to quiet and soothe Jane. Maura can’t feel any swelling or abnormalities. There’s no evidence of bleeding beneath the skin. Maura puts on her stethoscope and tries to find a pulse. Silence. 

Maura moves the chestpiece of her stethoscope to another spot. She holds her breath and strains to hear. Silence.

Maura wants to moan. She can’t find it. She tries another spot, desperation leaking through. Silence. She tries another.

‘Maur,’ Jane moans, closing her eyes tightly as tears begin to trickle out. 

Then Maura sees the baby move. Makes out the shape of a little foot pushing out from Jane’s belly. Jane gasps. Maura moves quickly, estimating where the heart should be based on where the foot had been. She listens with baited breath. 

_There._

She hears it. The steady tiny thumping she had been so desperate to hear. Maura counts the beats. ‘Good,’ Maura says softly, not sure if she’s speaking to Jane, the baby or herself. ‘They sound good. They feel good.’ 

‘They’re okay?’ Jane asks, fear lacing her voice. 

‘I think so,’ Maura says in relief, offering a shaky smile to Jane. ‘You will still have to have an ultrasound at the hospital.’ 

‘You’ll come with me, right?’ Jane asks, sounding nervous. 

‘Sweetie,’ Maura whispers, wrapping Jane’s hand in her own. She leans forward and presses their foreheads together. Maura closes her eyes and steadies herself. ‘I am needed here. Frost needs me here.’ 

‘But what if something happens?’ Jane whimpers. ‘Please, Maura, I don’t want to go alone.’ 

Maura whimpers herself. She’s never wanted to give in more. ‘Jane,’ Maura whispers, ‘I can’t. I wish I could but I can’t.’ 

‘Maura,’ Jane whimpers, ‘I’m afraid. I don’t want to go without you.’ 

‘Do not be afraid,’ Maura whispers. She pulls back to press a kiss to Jane’s forehead, ‘it is going to be alright.’ 

‘I’ll go with her,’ Nina says from somewhere behind them. Maura and Jane both turn to look at the detective. 

‘You will?’ Maura asks, sniffling. 

Nina nods, ‘of course, until you get there anyways.’ 

Jane pouts but releases the vice grip she had on Maura’s hand, ‘okay.’ 

‘I will see you, both, soon,’ Maura whispers. She kisses Jane’s forehead and then Jane’s belly. Then she lets Jane’s fingers slip from hers and for the second time that day, Maura walks away from Jane. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this (and the next) chapter out for both women being in the crash. It was absolute torture to decide who it should be but ultimately I went with what was the original plan for this fic. BUT if you all are interested, I will post the alternative chapter at the end of this fic so you can read it instead.


	21. December ~ 30 weeks Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Cliffhanger is resolved. :) You may now catchup if you have been delaying.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Car crashes, drunk driving, injury, emotional numbing
> 
> I have no idea how realistic the timing or steps of this autopsy are. Shrug.

Extracting Frost proves to be difficult. Maura ends up in the backseat, sawing through the cage to better assess the detective. She ends up working on him with a blanket over their heads as they saw entire bulks of metal off the car. The noise did have the positive effect of rousing the Detective. Maura does her best to keep the Detective distracted and engaged. When he’s at last freed and clear to move from the car, she climbs wearily from the back seat, dropping her gloves in yet another evidence bag.

‘You wanna ride with us Doc?’ The EMT wheeling Frost up the ambulance asks, ‘he’s stable so we probably don’t need you but we could give you a ride to your partner.’

Maura blushes but doesn’t correct the woman’s term. Frost, if he notices beyond all the pain, doesn’t say anything either. Maura looks down at herself. She’s coated in dirt, metal shavings and blood. ’No,’ Maura says firmly, ‘I need to pronounce John Doe and I am covered in evidence that has to be bagged and tagged. Thank you though.’

The EMT shrugs, ‘suit yourself.’ Maura can’t bring herself to meet Frost’s eyes as they close the door. Why had she stayed?

The fear she’d been shoving back all day roars to life. _Jane._ She’d almost lost Jane. Again. Maura whimpers. She couldn’t do it. She wasn’t ready. So Maura does what she does best.

She pulls on a new pair of gloves and gets back to work. John Doe has already been pulled from his car, is laying on a gurney with a sheet over him. She vaguely recalls one of the medics telling her he no longer had a pulse as she worked on Frost. Maura tries to feel any ounce of sympathy as she pulls down his sheet and checks his vitals. He’s long gone, she knows, but she follows the rules just like a good doctor must. She pronounces him dead, well after his eventual expiration and Maura has already outlined a summary of events to explain the discrepancy in events. Maura signs off on the paperwork, sending John Doe off with her lab techs just as Maura’s phone rings.

Maura fishes her phone from her bag, ‘Doctor Isles?’

‘Doctor Isles,’ an unfamiliar woman’s voice comes on over the phone, ‘I’m Doctor Lareesa Evans and I’m here with Detectives Rizzoli and Holiday.’

‘Yes,’ Maura says feeling nervous. She had thought that Jane was alright. So much of the damage was to Barry’s side, but what if she was wrong? She could think of at least a dozen things that could have gone undetected on scene. ‘Is everything alright?’

‘It would seem the good Detectives here refuse to let me leave without informing you of my professional opinion,’ Doctor Evans says with a chuckle.

‘Damn straight,’ Jane says grumpily in the background making Maura ache to be there.

‘They’re partners,’ Nina says emphasising the word ‘partners’ with absolute giddiness. Maura can hear Jane mumbling a general sound of agreement in the background.

‘We’ve done a number of tests, including a head CT and an ultrasound. As of right now, both Detective Rizzoli and the foetus appear to be doing well. Detective Rizzoli does have a concussion. She also broke her nose a second time, I’m told it’s a previous injury.’

‘Hairline fracture of the nasal bone,’ Maura supplies automatically, her knowledge of Jane’s every injury laid out in her mind like a map of her worst fears. The nose, at least, had been a happy accident. 

‘She has a few minor lacerations, a handful of contusions but otherwise she looks good. Your partner has already directed me to send everything I have to you so you will be receiving all of our chart notes and test results shortly via email.’

‘Thank you, Doctor Evans,’ Maura says quietly. ‘I really appreciate the update.’

‘I would still like to keep her overnight,’ Doctor Evans begins before being cut off by Jane.

‘No, no! Come on, Maur! Come on!’ Jane whines through the phone, ‘I don’t need to stay in the hospital when I got you at home. Come on! She just said I’m fine.’

Maura hesitates. Jane couldn’t be told what to do. She’d revolt and do exactly the opposite if she thought Maura were trying to control her. She required finesse to answer. ‘Jane,’ Maura begins, hoping her voice is firm but not challenging, ‘I can hardly be expected to answer that when I have not reviewed the chart.’

‘Maura,’ Jane whines, ‘I just want to be home with you.’

Maura squeezes her eyes shut, pinching the bridge of her nose, staving off a headache, ‘let me review what the doctor has sent over and then I will call you back.’

There’s silence for a minute and then Maura hears Jane’s tell-tale grumpy sigh of resignation, ‘fine but if you take all night to review those charts I’m going to be pissed Maura.’

‘Well,’ Doctor Evans says, sounding mildly pleased, ‘if you have any questions or concerns, Doctor Isles, I am happy to assist and you’ll have my contact information in your inbox shortly. If I may?’

‘You good with that Maura?’ Nina asks and Maura can’t help but shake her head. Maura’s not sure BPD, or the world really, is ready for the combined forces of Jane _and_ Nina.

‘Yes,’ Maura says, ‘thank you Doctor Evans.’

‘I’ll let the two of you talk,’ Nina says somewhere in the background.

‘Hey,’ Jane says softly, ‘it’s just me now.’

Maura sinks slowly to the curb, her body shrinking in on herself, ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Sore,’ Jane replies and in the same breath she asks, ‘How’s Frost?’

‘Good,’ Maura says, ‘he regained consciousness and was teasing me about how you’d owe him big after this.’

‘What an asshole,’ Jane says, the relief raw in her voice, ‘he swerved Maura.’

‘I know,’ Maura whispers softly. She doesn’t add the rest, she didn’t need to. He had swerved and in doing so he had likely saved Jane’s life, Jane and the baby. Maura felt nothing but gratitude for that decision. Jane, likely, had more complicated emotions about it.

‘When are you coming in?’ Jane asks, her voice sounding emotional, ‘I hate that you aren’t here.’

‘Me too sweetie,’ Maura whispers, ‘I still have a few more things to do here.’

‘I have something I want to tell you,’ Jane says softly.

Maura blinks back tears, ’I will be there soon. I promise.’

‘Okay,’ Jane whispers back, ‘do what you need to do Maura, I’ll still be here when you’re done.’

Maura gulps, a knot forming in her throat. How close were they to that not being true? Maura covers her mouth with a hand, swallows down quick breaths of air. When she’s certain her voice won’t quiver, she replies. ‘Okay. I will talk to you later Jane.’

‘Okay,’ Jane says sounding disappointed, ‘I love you Maura.’

‘You too,’ Maura says before hanging up. She hangs her head. Maura can feel her fear nipping at the edges, begging to be let in. Maura shoves back at it. She needed something to do. Anything.

‘Hey Doc,’ Korsack says in greeting, ‘you did good today.’ He puts a big hand on her shoulder, patting in fatherly affection. It’s almost enough to break Maura. ‘I had one of the officers move your car back to the precinct. Do you wanna ride somewhere?’

Maura nods, ‘just to the precinct. I am a walking evidence locker at the moment.’

Korsack chuckles, ‘I’ll have one of the patrols take you.’ He gestures an officer over and sends Maura off with them. Maura rides in silence and when they arrive, she goes straight to the labs. Susie is there. Maura mutters only a few words and Susie is already moving, setting up a de-robing station for Maura. It’s one of her favourite things about Susie. She never took anything personally and she was just so damn good at her job.

Maura undresses on plastic, dropping every piece of her designer outfit into bags for Susie to tag. She doesn’t even particularly care. She’s not sure she’d ever be able to wear it again. Not when it made her think of Jane unconscious, blood on her face, car crumpling in on itself. Susie helps Maura pick out every bit of evidence from her hair. Then Maura showers, washes off every bit of grime and blood. Susie has laid out her extra outfit and Maura is grateful for the consideration. She steps into them like she’s dating a second skin. One thick enough to face it all. She checks her phone to find a message from Nina.

**3:34 pm Frankie and Angela just got here. You might need to send a body bag if Angela doesn’t let go of Jane soon. :)**

Maura tampers down on the swirl of emotions that text brings. Then Maura does a cursory read of Doctor Evan’s charts. The damage isn’t _extensive_. Given the look of the crash, Jane had gotten off light. But Maura feels every cut and bruise personally. They tear at the very fabric of her being. Maura shoves her chair away from her desk. She exits her office, feeling very much like she’s a coward running from her feelings. Maura enters autopsy. John Doe is lying on the table, waiting for Maura to do her autopsy.

How close had she been to having three body’s to autopsy today? She can see them in her mind’s eye. John Doe here, unworthy of even being in the same room as her detectives, his blood poisoned by alcohol, his mind crushed by the weight of his decisions. Frost lying next to him, for once not looking ill or nauseous. And on the far end, Jane. Her Jane. Her wild mop of curls spilled over the table's edges. Her belly still. Unmoving. Lifeless. Maura shakes her head, swallowing down the bile in the back of her throat. It was just John Doe here. Frost and Jane were alive and well, not here in her domain. Maura pulls on a pair of gloves, picks up her scalpel and goes back to work.

Her phone dings again as she is examining stomach contents. She pauses to read a second text from Nina.

**4:21 pm Frost is doing well. Broken collar bone and a few broken ribs. They’re trying to get a better image on the ribs, worried about puncturing a lung. But he’s breathing fine and high as a kite. :)** ****

Maura returns to her stomach contents, measuring out samples to be tested, losing herself in the science. A third text from Nina stops her work as she is examining the man’s brain.

**6:17 pmJane is asking where you are. Threatening to leave AMA. :(** ****

Maura peels off her gloves, checks to ensure no further charts had been mailed to her and then texts Nina back.

**6:18 pm She can be released tonight. I’ll meet you both at home in a few hours.** ****

Nina texts her back a thumbs up and a series of smiley faces. Maura ignores it and returns to her work. By the next text message, she’s just getting ready to sew the man back up.

**8:56 pm Jane has been released. We’re grabbing dinner and then headed home. You want anything?**

Maura declines the invite and then finishes her sewing. She takes all of her samples to the lab, getting her tests started before retreating to her office. She is just grabbing the last of her things to leave for the evening when she gets Nina’s next message.

**10:03 pm Jane is starting to freak out that you aren’t home. Are you going to be here soon?** ****

Maura pauses to shoot off a quick on my way and then walks back to her car. It’s parked in her medical examiner spot, just as it had been this afternoon. As though nothing had happened, nothing had changed. As though she hadn’t almost lost her family. Maura squeezes her eyes shut and pushes that thought away. Then she climbs in her car, adjusts her seat and her mirrors, puts her hands at 10 and 2 and drives home. She attends to every move she makes, every sign she passes, willing herself to be the perfect driver.

Maura pulls into her garage, parks her car and stares up at the house. She turns off the ignition, takes her keys, and then sits in the silence. Jane was in there. Bruised and cut but very much alive. Maura closes her eyes. Jane was alive and home, exactly where she should be. That was all that mattered. Maura climbs from the car.

Nina Holiday is sleeping on Maura’s couch, Jo Friday on her chest. Maura does her best to sneak by without waking the detective. For once, Jo cooperates with her plans. The small dog opens one lazy eye, gives half a tail wag, before going back to sleep. Maura slips quietly up the stairs, heading for their bedroom.

Jane is sleeping in their bed, clutching Maura’s pillow to her chest. Maura looks over her sleeping form and the walls holding all of Maura’s emotions back, breaks. Maura back pedals, running from their bedroom. She makes her way down the hallway through tear blurred eyes. She fumbles at the nursery door, letting herself in and collapsing in a sobbing heap onto the floor, her hands grasping the bars on the crib.

She had almost lost it all. Jane, the baby, their future. All because of a drunk driver. A random accident. Maura had seen Jane hurt before. Maura had held Jane’s stomach, her hands the only thing keeping Jane’s blood from pouring out after she had shot herself. It had nearly killed Maura then. Her heart had shattered into a million pieces. But at least it had meaning. Jane did it to save her, to save Frankie. To get the bad guy. Maura had almost lost the love of her life and the baby they were going to raise because someone couldn’t drink at home. Useless, senseless, purposeless loss.

Maura sniffs angrily, wiping furiously at her eyes. There’s a swirling vortex of emotions in Maura’s mind. Fear, anger, grief all circle, demanding to be felt in equal measure.

‘Maura?’ Jane asks from the doorway, her voice thick with sleep. It’s a question that she answers for herself as she takes in Maura’s sobbing form. ‘Maura,’ Jane says full of soft, sweet, affection.

Then Jane is sinking to Maura’s side as gracefully as a woman in her third trimester can. Maura wraps her arms around Jane and clings, holding on for all she’s worth. Jane holds her back and Maura can feel Jane’s own sobs moving through her body, soaking Maura’s blouse. In time, grief yields to relief. Anger to sorrow. Fear to gratitude. Maura’s sobs soften enough for her to speak.

‘I thought I lost you. Both of you,’ Maura whispers, voice raw from crying.

‘Me too,’ Jane says sadly.

‘I was so scared,’ Maura whimpers, ‘Jane, I was so scared.’

‘I’m okay Maur,’ Jane whispers, ‘I’m okay. The baby’s okay. I’m okay.’

‘You cannot die yet,’ Maura moans, ‘you cannot die. I still need you.’

‘I’m right here Maur,’ Jane whispers, ‘I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.’ Jane pulls back, her hand touching Maura’s cheek with tenderness. Brown eyes meet hazel. ‘Do you hear me? I’m not going anywhere. I love you Maura.’

Maura’s heart breaks, ‘ Jane, I need to…’ Maura gasps, her words cutoff, as Jane’s lips find hers. They’re soft and warm, pressing with a shy force that so perfectly defined Jane Rizzoli. Maura sinks into the kiss, returning it full force. Maura wraps her hand into dark curls, holding Jane close to her, refusing to stop until her lungs are screaming for breath. Best kiss ever.

‘I am in love with you Maura Dorothea Isles,’ Jane whispers leaning her forehead against Maura’s, ‘and after today I never want to spend another day denying how much I love you. Life is too short and too unpredictable. I need you to know that you have my heart, wholly and completely. Always.’

‘Jane,’ Maura whispers, she tastes her own tears on her lips.

‘You don’t have to say anything,’ Jane reassures her, ‘if you aren’t ready or you don’t feel the same or whatever. I just couldn’t pretend anymore.’

‘I love you too,’ Maura says as soon as Jane takes a breath. ‘I love you so much that sometimes it feels like my heart is walking in your body.’ And then Maura tugs Jane’s face back to her own, claiming another kiss from Jane. Maura isn’t even surprised to find that every kiss with Jane was the best kiss ever.

‘I am sorry I took so long,’ Maura whispers, not sure what exactly she means by it. Was she sorry she didn’t come home sooner? Was she sorry she didn’t tell Jane sooner? Both? Maura strokes Jane’s cheek softly with her thumb, careful not to hurt the detective’s bruised cheeks. Jane leans into her palm, smiling softly.

‘It’s okay Maura,’ Jane whispers in reply, ‘I never mind waiting for you.’ She kisses the edge of Maura’s palm just below her thumb and it sends warm shockwaves of pleasure down Maura’s spine. Then Jane pulls away, her eyes scrutinising Maura’s face. ‘Have you eaten at all today?’

Maura bursts into teary laughter. ‘No,’ she admits sheepishly.

‘Mmmph,’ Jane says, a frown on her face, ‘let’s get some food in you and then I need my favourite body pillow.’

‘Okay,’ Maura says softly. Then, because she can, she brings her lips back to Jane’s and kisses her softly. Jane smile’s against her lips and Maura thinks that might be her new favourite feeling in the world. Maura pulls away, pulling herself up before reaching down and helping Jane up. Jane wraps an arm around Maura’s shoulders and presses a kiss to Maura’s forehead as they walk out arm in arm. Maura pauses at the door, looking back over their nursery.

‘You okay?’ Jane asks, rubbing her shoulder softly.

Maura leans her head on Jane’s shoulder, ‘just feeling grateful.’ Then Maura turns her head up to look at Jane, ‘thank you for everything.’

Jane blinks twice in surprise before beaming down at Maura, ‘pretty sure that’s my line.’

‘Not today,’ Maura retorts, ‘today it’s my turn.’ Maura reaches over with her free hand, soothing it over Jane’s belly. ‘I love you,’ Maura whispers softly with her eyes on that bump, then she raises them up to meet Jane’s eyes. ‘I love both of you.’

Jane grins and then, because she can, she presses their lips together conveying every ounce of gratitude and affection a kiss can convey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure what I love more. Jane and Nina holding a doctor hostage until she talks to maura or Jane and Maura saying they love you, FINALLY, in the baby's room or Jane realising that Maura just really needs some food. Or the fact that they kiss each other now BECAUSE THEY CAN.


	22. December ~ 32 weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big shout out to Cloudyunicorn698 for writing the inspirational Frosting Fight scene that inspired this chapter! If you aren't already, go read An Isles Christmas for all the fluffy cuteness!

Jane is put on medical leave out of an abundance of caution by the higher ups at BPD. Jane is prevented from pulling her own hair out and trying to undermine those orders by two things. The first was that Frost was also on leave and, after his release from the hospital, they spent many of their days relaxing on the couch, catching up on games they had missed in their time on the force. Jane had to admit it probably was the best thing for both of them as they usually both ended up asleep by lunch time, their concussions taking its toll on them. Jane couldn’t imagine trying to stay awake as she stared at endless pages of documents, much less Frost trying to chase down some perp.

The second thing was Maura. The ME had immediately taken time off, which Jane had been expecting. What Jane was not expecting was for her to take the rest of the year off. Jane almost felt guilty about that but it meant that many of Jane’s couch naps were also Maura snuggle naps and Jane couldn’t quite bring herself to feel too badly about that. Life with Maura was simply better.

Jane wakes from her afternoon nap to the smell of sweet sugary goodness filling the house. If her nose is not being deceived, there were cookies downstairs. Jane’s stomach growls, her mouth begins salivating. That hope drives the last vestiges of sleep away, ushering Jane to get out of bed and to go to the restroom before heading out in search of whatever was making that heavenly smell.

Maura is in the kitchen wearing an apron spotted in flour, a smear of white powder on her left cheek where she had clearly wiped a wisp of hair away. Jane pauses to stare at her, she was like some kind of kitchen goddess there to devastate people with her looks and her pastries. Maura looks up then, her eyes a warm effervescent green with the harsh cold light of the winter sun pouring in through the window. ‘Good afternoon Jane,’ Maura says, all sweetness and Jane’s heart explodes with fondness.

‘Hi,’ Jane says shyly, ‘what’re you making?’ Jane tucks her hair behind her ear. Maura watches the movement, a fond smile on her face.

‘Sugar cookies,’ Maura says proudly, she holds up a tray of cookies in perfect cookie cutter shapes. ‘I was just about to start on the icing. How was your nap?’

‘Good,’ Jane replies, ‘you want any help?’

‘With the decorating,’ Maura says as she measures out powdered sugar.

Jane settles herself across from Maura and listens happily as Maura gives her the full history of icing, sugar cookies, and their association in western cultures with Christmas. Jane pops her head onto her palm and contents herself with watching Maura work. Jane never realised it was possible to be so in love with another person until she was sitting across from Maura talking about wheat varieties. Jane moves on impulse, standing and walking around the counter toward Maura.

‘and, of course, that is only wheat varieties. In Asia, rice is the predominant carbohydrate and is used in most pastries like donuts and… what?’ Maura stops as Jane approaches.

Jane steps into Maura’s space. She cups her cheek softly. ‘Have I told you how much I love it when you google mouth?’

‘You do?’ Maura asks, looking vulnerable and uncertain.

‘Well,’ Jane says, her voice husky, ‘when you aren’t taking forever to get to the point about a case, yes.’ Then she grins, a big dimpled teasing grin.

Maura opens her mouth to reply when her stand mixer sputters, shooting out globs of green icing. One lands squarely on Jane’s lips much to the detective's surprise. Maura, who is largely spared from the icing bomb bursts into laughter. Her hand fumbles for the off lever. Jane sputters. ‘I believe that is colloquially considered,’ Maura manages to get out between giggles, ‘karma.’

Jane stares at Maura, ‘karma? Maur? Really?’ Maura just laughs in response. Jane smacks her lips, the frosting spreading further, she’s certain. ‘Well,’ Jane says, ‘Italians make their own karma.’ Jane grabs Maura eliciting a squeal from the other woman and Jane presses a sugary kiss to Maura’s cheek. Maura squeals again pushing lightly against Jane between fits of laughter. Jane pulls away, admiring the smear of her own green lips on Maura’s cheek. Her heart patters quickly again.

‘You are mean,’ Maura teases lightly.

‘Why?’ Jane asks in mock offence, ‘it looks good on you. It matches your eyes.’ Maura looks highly disbelieving so Jane pulls out her phone, flipping the camera to selfie mode and offers it to Maura. Maura takes the phone skeptically and looks herself over. Jane wraps her arms around Maura’s back, as much as her stomach will allow, and leans forward to rest her head on Maura’s shoulder. ’See?’ Jane asks with a green lipped grin, ‘you’re beautiful.’

Maura smiles back at Jane, the green shape of lips on her cheek obvious, and Jane’s heart patters again. Maura snaps a few photos before setting the phone down on the counter and turning to wrap her arms around Jane’s neck. Then Maura kisses Jane, slow and sweet. And vaguely vanilla-y. Jane hums against Maura’s lips, perfectly content. This was definitely better than cookies.

The back door rattles causing Jane and Maura to jump apart. Angela, for once, walks in with her head up and her eyes wide open. It takes her mere milliseconds to analyse the too short distance between Jane and Maura and the green frosting stains shared between their lips. ‘Jane Clementine Rizzoli!’

‘Excuse me,’ Maura says, her voice quivering and Jane frowns as she disappears from the room. They hadn’t talked about this yet, any of it, and Jane isn’t sure she is ready to do any of this. Maybe, she could pretend they’d both been sampling? It was a stretch but it was possible. Or a food fight? But did she want to hide this from her mother? Did Maura?

‘Were you just kissing Maura?’ Angela asks, her anger washing over Jane in a cold wave of reality.

‘Uh,’ Jane says, trying to wipe her lips subtly.

‘You were,’ Angela hisses, ‘you were kissing Maura. How could you do that to your best friend? She’s like a sister to you!'

‘Okay, Ma,’ Jane says placatingly, ‘it’s not… I can explain. Okay?’

‘How could you do something so foolish?’ Angela’s voice is rising now. Jane feels that familiar sense of deference, embedded in her since childhood. ‘You and your hot head, you never consider how your actions make the rest of us feel.’

Jane feels the swell of emotions in herself, her throat constricting, her eyes watering. She hadn’t been expecting Angela’s anger. Maybe, given their religious background, she should have, but Jane had genuinely never considered that her Ma might reject her for this. Not for finding love. ‘Ma,’ Jane says weakly, emotionally.

‘You just go around doing whatever impulsive thing you feel like without considering the rest of -‘ Angela is cut off by the petite and angry form of Maura coming to stand directly between Jane and Angela. Jane is mildly pleased to see she still has green lips and Jane’s green kiss on her cheek. Seeing her wear them without any self-consciousness gave Jane confidence.

‘Don’t,’ Maura says quietly, firmly, icily. ‘Do not come into this house and think that you can treat Jane this way.’

‘Maura,’ Angela says full of emotion, Maura’s name sounding broken on her lips.

‘No,’ Maura says, her own voice growing louder and more firm, ‘you may not speak to Jane that way. You entered our home. You interrupted us. And you assumed you knew what happened. You did not even give her a chance to explain. You assumed that something was wrong and that it was Jane’s fault. And that is unacceptable.’

‘She kissed you Maura,’ Angela whispers sounding slightly terrified. Jane realises that she might. She and Maura had never fought like this before.

‘I did,’ Jane says stepping in. Jane wraps her arms softly around Maura and nuzzles her chin into Maura’s neck, it feels incredibly brave and completely natural at the same time. Maura responds immediately. She leans ever so slightly into Jane, laying her hands over the top of Jane’s. ‘I’ve been kissing her for weeks Ma.’ It felt good to present a united front to her Ma but Jane doesn’t miss the way Maura shivers in her arms. Understanding flashes through Jane in an instant. Maura loved Angela like a mother too and she was probably just as terrified of being rejected as Jane was. Jane lets out a slow steadying breath for both of them.

‘You have?’ Angela asks, her eyebrows flying up into her hairline. It would almost be comical. ‘Why? What would possess you to do such a thing?’

Jane considers her answer carefully. She needed her mother to understand, ‘because she gave me half of her closet.’

‘What?’ Maura and Angela say at the same time.

‘That was the moment I knew,’ Jane says to Maura. To her mother she says, ’you said it yourself Ma. Maura’s always been here for me. She’s shown me love and kindness. She takes care of me, even when I whine at her and make it as difficult as possible. She loves me and it took me too long to realise that I love her too but then she gave me half of her closet.’

‘Janie,’ Angela says, her voice softening, ‘are you sure this isn’t just pregnancy hormones?’

‘Angela!’ Maura all but snaps at her.

‘What?’ Angela says raising her hands in defence, ‘I’m just asking.’

Jane rolls her eyes, well accustomed to her mother’s fake innocence by now. ‘Yes, Ma. I’m sure.’

That seems to deflate much of Angela’s anger, ‘so you’re what? Dating? Sleeping together?’

‘Ma!’ Jane squeaks.

‘What?’ Angela asks again, ‘your mother just wants to be a part of your life.’

‘We’re dating,’ Jane says firmly.

‘We are?’ Maura asks, turning partially to look up at Jane.

Jane’s stomach drops, ‘uh yeah, I thought we were?!’

‘We had not talked about it,’ Maura says honestly, ‘I did not want to assume.’ Angela watches the exchange between the two of them with narrowed eyes.

‘Okay,’ Jane says, her eyes searching Maura’s face, ‘well, I know we’re sorta jumping in to the middle of all this. What with the whole baby thing.’

‘We are,’ Maura affirms but Jane can’t see even a trace of doubt on her face.

‘But I want it all with you. The whole couple experience,’ Jane admits, ‘even if we are starting in the middle.’

Maura grins at her, ‘I do too.’

‘So we’re dating then? And a couple?’ Jane asks tentatively. ‘I could move back out, if you want me to.’

‘Don’t you dare,’ Maura whispers, closing the space between them and claiming a kiss from Jane’s lips. Jane loses herself for a moment.

‘Ahem,’ Angela clears her throat, interrupting them. Angela’s cheeks are flushed and her eyes are averted.

‘Sorry Ma,’ Jane says, not feeling remotely apologetic about it. Judging from the twinkle in Maura’s eye, she isn’t all that sorry either.

‘I’m a little hurt that neither of you told me about this,’ Angela says sniffling, ‘how come I’m always the last to know?’

‘You’re the first person we’ve told,’ Jane says with another eye roll. It was technically true too. Nina had told them and Frost had probably figured it out already but Angela was the first they had told.

‘I am?’ Angela says, her eyes widening, a grin spreading across her face.

‘Yes Ma,’ Jane says reassuringly.

‘And you’re both happy?’ Angela asks.

Maura looks at Jane. Jane smiles at Maura. ‘Yes,’ they both answer.

‘Aw my babies!’ Angela catches them both up in a tight hug, squishing Maura between them. ‘I can’t wait to tell everyone!’Then Angela is bustling out, excited to have gossip to share.

Jane releases Maura, trying to give the woman space if she needs it. Jane shoves her hair back from her face, ‘you know she will tell everyone, right?’

‘I do,’ Maura says softly, ‘is that a problem?’

‘Only if you count little old Italian grandma’s rushing me in the grocery store to congratulate me on no longer being an undesirable spinster,’ Jane says with a sigh. The entire Italian community would be fully informed on her relationship status by the time the sunset this evening.

‘Poor Jane,’ Maura says in an exaggerated pout, ‘but you are wrong about one thing though.’

Jane raises an eyebrow, ‘oh?’

‘You very much the opposite of undesirable,’ Maura says lightly as her eyes roam over Jane from head to toe, as though they are drinking her in.

Jane feels a flash of heat in her core and on her cheeks, ‘really? Because I feel about as attractive as a weather balloon. A really gigantic weather balloon.’

Maura laughs pressing forward into Jane’s space again, ‘trust me Jane. There is absolutely nothing unsexy about you right now Jane. Green lips and all.’

‘That’s a double negative,’ Jane says roughly as Maura’s lips draw nearer.

‘Mmmm,’ Maura hums close enough that Jane can feel the heat of her breath, ‘I must be terribly distracted.’ And Jane has a response for that, she does, but then Maura’s lips are on hers and all words cease to have any meaning whatsoever. Jane's heart pattering does all the talking for her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the delay in posting this. We got hit by a monster storm and I spent much of the last few days shovelling snow and keeping the woodstove going. It may be a very lean week for writing as it's still snowing here. But I love you all and I'm not abandoning you. Just living that Alaska life.


	23. December ~ 34 Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex implied but nothing graphic. Birthing class, birth discussed, nothing too graphic.
> 
> The muses MAY be planning something for the birth of this little one...

‘Jane,’ Maura whispers, warm lips press against Jane’s cheek. ‘It is time to wake up, love.’ 

Jane moans and tugs Maura closer, ‘no.’ 

Maura laughs and squeezes Jane back, she places a kiss on Jane’s forehead, ‘you have to, love. We have our birthing class today.’ 

Jane groans and buries her face into Maura’s side. ‘Too old for school,’ Jane mumbles. 

‘No one is too old to learn something new, Jane,’ Maura reprimands gently, her hand rubbing Jane’s back firmly, ‘come on. I am getting up now.’ 

‘No,’ Jane whines holding on to Maura a bit tighter, ‘stay with me.’ 

Maura’s heart does a flip. How was it possible for Jane to be so endearing even in her sleep? ‘Alright,’ Maura says, setting an alarm and settling back in beside Jane, ‘five minutes. That is it.’ 

‘I’ll take it,’ Jane murmurs kissing the side of Maura’s neck she’s snuggling against. Maura knows Jane means it as a sweet innocent gesture but it gets Maura’s heart thumping in a very not innocent way anyways. 

Maura rolls to face Jane, she cups her cheek and presses a kiss to Jane’s lips. When she pulls away, amber eyes are looking at her, alert and full of want. 

‘Hi,’ Jane says, sleep still on her voice. 

‘Good morning,’ Maura says softly, her eyes sweeping over Jane’s face. Then she presses forward, claiming another kiss. Jane hums and sinks more fully into the bed, tugging Maura into a position over and to the right of Jane. They spend the next five minutes kissing, marvelling in the movement of one another and when Maura’s alarm goes off five minutes later, they both groan. Maura pulls away to look at Jane, ‘come shower with me?’ Her voice is soft and vulnerable sounding. 

Jane tucks an errant strand of hair behind Maura’s ear, ‘you sure? I mean we’ve seen each other naked but not since…’ 

Maura smiles down at Jane, ‘I am. At least, I am if you are. Nothing has to happen, I just… I want to be close to you.’ 

‘Okay,’ Jane murmurs, a dimpled grin spreading across her face, ‘but just so you know, I’m ready for something to happen when you are.’ 

‘You are?’ Maura asks in surprise. 

‘Mmmhmm,’ Jane says in response. 

‘I was not sure, given your concussion and your feelings about casual sex. I did not want to assume,’ Maura babbles quietly, breathily. 

‘Well,’ Jane says, ‘the concussion is all better and there’s nothing about us that is casual. I’m definitely more than ready to have sex even if I don’t feel sexy.’ 

Maura beams down at Jane, ‘well I can definitely help with that.’ 

‘The having sex bit? I certainly hope so.’ Jane teases. 

‘The feeling sexy bit,’ Maura teases back, her voice coming out deep and sensual, ‘I would be happy to show you over and over exactly what I think of your body.’ 

Jane gulps below her. When she speaks her voice is higher and somehow more gravelled, ‘yeah?’ 

‘Mmmmm,’ Maura affirms, lowering her head to place her lips just below Jane’s ear, ‘I find you very, very, very sexy.’ Every very is punctuated with a kiss, warm and soft. Jane makes a nervous gurgling sound deep in her throat. Maura pulls back, giving Jane space to breath. Green eyes meet brown. Maura offers a coy smile, ‘just say the word and I would be happy to give you a full demonstration.’ 

Maura’s alarm goes off a third time before Jane can answer. Maura rolls away to turn it off. She winces when she sees the time. Reluctantly she gets out of bed, offering a hand to help Jane up. Jane accepts it with a groan, ‘do we have to go to class today?’ 

Maura grins at Jane, ‘yes but if you pay very close attention, maybe I’ll have a reward for you at the end of the day.’ 

‘You’re going to give me a pop quiz, aren’t you?’ Jane says wryly, startling a laugh out of Maura. 

‘Maybe,’ Maura says teasingly, her hands moving to take off Jane’s clothes, ‘but if you do well I promise to make it worth your while.’ 

‘Oh yeah?’ Jane asks curiosity peaked, ‘could I pick my own reward?’ 

Maura laughs again, pushing Jane toward the shower lightly, ‘I’ll consider it.’ She finishes stripping off her own clothes and steps into the shower where warm water and warmer arms are waiting for her. And if they spend more time kissing then showering, who else would really know? 

Maura is glad Jane had a positive start to the day because by lunch she is green and vaguely panicked looking. When the session breaks for lunch, Maura stays behind watching Jane carefully. ‘Jane?’ Maura asks gently. 

Jane’s eyes are wide, her skin pale, she opens and closes her mouth several times before a sound comes out. When it does she points harshly to the life-sized newborn on the demonstration table. ‘That,’ Jane says shakily, ‘ _cannot_ come out of _this_.’ She gestures at her own lower body and Maura has to resist laughing. ‘I… it’s just not possible.’ 

‘Of course it is,’ Maura replies calmly, ‘women have been doing this for as long as humanity has existed. Your body will make the necessary space and the baby’s head is soft and malleable…’ 

‘Nope!’ Jane shouts holding up a hand before gagging. Maura frowns, scooting her own chair to be closer to Jane. Jane looks at her wide eyed and helpless, ‘I can’t do this Maura. You have to do it.’ 

Maura rubs Jane’s back reassuringly, ‘in a heartbeat, if I could. Tell me what is happening right now, Jane.’ 

‘What’s happening is that I’m freaking out. I can’t do this. I can’t. Maura,’ Jane whines out Maura’s name and it tugs at every string of Maura’s heart. 

‘Oh Jane,’ Maura says kneeling and softly, cupping Jane’s cheeks in her hands. ‘I know it’s scary but I am going to be right there with you. You are so, so brave and strong. I mean, you survived shooting yourself. How bad could birth be?’ 

Jane looks at her skeptically, one eyebrow raised, ’they didn’t have an all day lecture on how much pain I’d be in or how gross recovery was like after shooting myself. Why would anyone do _that_ ,’ Jane gestures at the demonstration table with a broad sweep of her hand, ‘without drugs? I want the drugs. Do you hear me? I want all the drugs.’ 

Maura resists the temptation to laugh, ‘I will let Martinez know.’ 

‘Maura,’ Jane groans partially in exasperation and partially in fear. 

‘Jane,’ Maura says more soberly, ‘baby, I promise I will get you _all_ the drugs.’

‘You will?’ Jane asks, eyes watering and full of fear and hope. 

‘I will,’ Maura says. She presses a soft kiss to Jane’s forehead. ‘I will be there every step of the way taking care of you.’ 

‘And the baby too?’ Jane asks. 

Maura smiles warmly, ‘and the baby too.’

Jane sniffles and looks at her belly, ‘I guess you can come out then, when you’re fully baked.’ 

Maura laughs at that, ‘I’m not sure you could have stopped them but I’m glad they have your permission.’ 

‘Hey Maura,’ Jane says softly, ‘I like it when you call me baby.’ 

Maura blushes, ‘you do?’ 

‘I do,’ Jane says, pink flooding her own cheeks, ‘I mean I don’t want it to be your only pet name for me but sometimes…. You know… when I’m scared or nervous or just because. It’s… nice. It reminds me of our first kiss.’ 

’Because it was in the baby’s room?’ Maura clarifies.

‘No,’ Jane says with a smile, she cups Maura’s hand on her cheek, ‘at the car wreck. You called me baby and kissed me.’ 

‘I did?’ Maura says in surprise. 

‘Mmmhmmm,’ Jane says pressing a kiss to Maura’s palm. Maura tries to remember, pushing past the adrenaline and chaos of the day. ‘And I knew right then and there that I wanted to hear you call me baby again. I wanted to kiss you again.’ 

The memory is fuzzy in Maura’s brain, the stress and trauma of the day preventing clearer recall. Maura’s not sure how to feel about not remembering their first kiss better. It seemed like an important detail and yet so much of her relationship with Jane had happened that way. Somehow Jane had sailed past all of Maura’s defences and cemented herself in Maura’s life without Maura being any the wiser. Maybe she wouldn’t remember their first kiss clearly but one thing about Jane was certain. There would be more and maybe that was what mattered. ‘Well, you can kiss me anytime you want and I promise to call you baby as often as you want.’ 

‘I love you,’ Jane says leaning forward to claim a kiss from Maura, which Maura returns happily. 

‘I love you too,’ Maura says when they part. ‘Should we go get some lunch before the class resumes?’ 

Maura had been concerned that Jane’s earlier nausea would keep her from being able to eat much but Jane polishes off her food without issue. When they return to the class, the instructor has them try a variety of calming techniques. Jane particularly enjoyed bouncing on the birthing ball making Maura flinch with every bounce, nervous Jane would fall and trying desperately to hide those nerves. Overall, Maura would call the day a success and she goes home feeling satisfied at having learned something from a new perspective. 

‘How are you feeling about all of it?’ Maura asks as she makes a turn. 

‘I still want the drugs,’ Jane says quickly, looking alarmed. 

Maura laughs, ‘that was not what I was asking.’ 

‘Just making sure you know,’ Jane says. She goes quiet then, thinking. ‘I’m excited to meet our kid. And I’m very, very excited to not be pregnant anymore. But I think I’d skip this step if I could.’ She looks nervous as she speaks, shifting in her seat. Or she might need to use the restroom. 

‘I think that is a common sentiment,’ Maura says reassuringly, ‘but if it makes you feel any better, your mind will concoct a heavy mix of neurochemicals that will make it difficult to recall the pain of childbirth and will instead imprint you and the baby together.’ 

‘Is that why Ma had three of us?’ Jane asks snarkily, ‘she just forgot how uncomfortable and painful it was?’ 

‘In a rudimentary way,’ Maura says, ‘yes.’ 

Jane rolls her eyes, ‘I don’t think I’m going to forget how much it hurts.’ 

‘I do not either,’ Maura replies, ‘I do think or hope… I hope that when you look back, your feelings will be positive and emotionally significant rather than painful.’ Jane doesn’t seem to have a comment for that so Maura presses on, ‘did you have any immediate thoughts for your birth plans.’ 

‘Drugs,’ Jane retorts immediately. 

Maura rolls her eyes as she signals a lane change, ‘anything _else?’_

Jane shrugs her shoulders, ‘not really. I figured that’s what you’re there for.’ 

‘Jane,’ Maura says softly, moved by Jane’s trust. 

‘You would know better than I would, all of those big medical terms. If my life or the baby’s was on the line, you’re the one I want making the call Maura. Like you said, you’ll take care of me. Of us.’ Jane shrugs again, turning her head away. Maura struggles with her own emotions. Maura’s moved by Jane’s trust _and_ the idea of having to make potentially life ending decisions for either Jane or the baby was overwhelming. ‘You okay Maur?’ Jane has turned back to look at Maura. Maura nods quickly, keeping her eyes on the road. 

‘I am honoured Jane,’ Maura says softly, ‘and overwhelmed.’ 

Jane nods, ‘well hopefully, you’ll just be there to hold my hand, fetch me ice chips, and snuggle our newborn. Nothing more.’ Maura’s not a religious person but that’s a prayer worthy of praying if ever she’s heard one. 

A while later they park, climbing out of the car. Jane surprises Maura, by walking around to greet her. She hugs Maura tightly. It's warm, reassuring and so very solid. Everything Maura needs in that moment. The rest of their evening is spent quietly. Maura prepares the meat for tomorrow’s New Years celebration while Jane watches some sports program. When Maura finishes, she joins Jane on the couch. 

‘I think I’ve decided,’ Jane says slyly, muting the television. 

‘Oh?’ Maura asks not sure what Jane is talking about. 

‘I know what I want as my reward,’ Jane says, her voice sounding a little lower and rougher. 

‘Alright,’ Maura tries to keep her voice even but her curiosity is piqued. 

‘I want a bubble bath,’ Jane says, eyes bright. 

‘Oh,’ Maura says, heart falling a little, ‘of-of course. I can draw you one. Did you want bubbles? Salt?’ 

‘Only if you do,’ Jane says, her dimpled grin flashing in Maura’s direction. 

‘Oh-‘ Maura says her brain is not quite caught up to Jane’s implications, ‘oh!’ 

Jane laughs, pushing herself up and holding a hand out to Maura, ‘bathe with me Maur?’ 

‘Yes,’ Maura says her voice coming out all breathy, following Jane up the stairs, her heart pounding. Maura follows Jane up the stairs, into their bedroom, into their bathroom and into the bathtub and Maura knows, without a doubt, this is an experience she would remember, quite clearly, for the rest of her life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Wanted to add that there is no right or wrong way to birth a child. Drugs, no drugs, vaginal or c-section. No shame in any of it. Do what you gotta! 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and commenting and remaining mostly positive, even if I was delayed last week! Sending you all my love and gratitude!


	24. January ~ 36 Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy a dose of sweetness. <3

Jane watched in amusement as Angela Rizzoli commanded an army of people to create ‘the perfect baby shower’. Her partners, her brothers, even the Lieutenant were given marching orders and expected to follow them to a tee. Jane’s not sure she would ever recover from seeing Lieutenant Sean Cavanaugh, the ranking officer of Boston Police Department, curling the strings of gender neutral baby balloons with his tongue sticking out the side. Korsak and Frost are on streamer duty and their bickering is amplified tenfold from when they chased down murders. Jane thought maybe the department ought to make Angela in charge of team building. Frankie and Tommy were a whirlwind in the kitchen, trying and, mostly, failing to follow Angela’s exacting demands. Tommy’s fruit slices were lopsided and uneven. Frankie’s hands shook as he stirred the punch under his mother’s eye. 

The only thing more amusing than all of that was watching Maura try _not_ to help. Angela had forbidden her from participating, saying that this was as much for her as it was for Jane. It was a tacit acceptance of their relationship that had made Maura go teary eyed, and perhaps Jane too, though she would deny it if anyone asked. So Maura was banished to sitting beside Jane and staying _uninvolved_ and Jane thinks that might actually be less of a gift than her mother intended it to be. 

Maura winces at Tommy’s watermelon slices, she whimpers when Korsak’s streamer is woefully tangled and low hanging, and she outright buries her face in her hands when Cavanugh’s balloons are either 3 feet high or 8 feet with nothing in between. Jane has to stifle her laughter, seeing perfection in the whole mess. Jane didn’t want a baby shower but a lopsided, uneven, questionably decorated baby shower hosted by a bunch of Boston cops was pretty much the only kind of baby shower she could live with. Maura, however, had probably anticipated receiving something a little more… sophisticated. Jane resolves then and there to host for Maura the perfect baby shower for their next kid. Then Jane realises that she is planning on having another one with Maura and that makes Jane happier than anything else could today. Jane might even consider carrying a second. _Maybe._

Maura is probably seconds from a heart attack when Nina Holiday sweeps in, straightening streamers, fixing balloon heights and otherwise neatening up the presentation with a salacious wink to Maura that makes Jane grumble and slip an arm possessively around Maura’s shoulder making Maura and Nina laugh. Jane doesn’t mind being the butt of a joke, not when it meant having her arm around her gorgeous girlfriend. 

And then they begin arriving. Droves of Italian grandmothers interspersed by macho-men cops. Jane stops bothering to track who has come and who has gone when she realised that most of the people there were paying more attention to her mother than to Jane. Within the first hour of the party, Angela has been given a tiara, a sash reading ‘Soon to be Nonna’, and about a million kisses on the cheeks. Even Jane’s coworkers, the staunch and macho men of BPD, are giddily excited for Angela. Stanley, _Stanley_ , makes a show of congratulating Angela, making Jane gawk. 

The party naturally breaks into two groups. The officers of BPD congregated in Maura’s living room, the TV playing a game that Jane was hoping her brother’s had the good sense to DVR for her. And in the kitchen dining room, the whole of South Boston’s Italian Grandma league had turned up. Jane is fairly certain Maura’s freezer will be overflowing with homemade pasta, pesto, sausage, and other goodness for months to come. Jane follows Maura dutifully between the two, offering smiles, jokes and thank you’s. Jane can smell residual grandma perfume on her cheeks and has developed a twitch from trying to escape grabbing belly hands. But none of that matters when Jane gets the text she had been waiting for all day. 

**I have arrived.**

Jane excuses herself to go to the restroom and slips out the front door, entirely unnoticed by anyone. Jane walks toward the black Lexus idling in front of Maura’s house. As she approaches, Constance Isles steps from the car. 

‘Hello Jane,’ Constance greets lightly. 

‘Good afternoon Constance,’ Jane says with an intentionally light smile and a polite tone, ‘I’m so glad you could make it.’ 

Constance survey’s Jane for a moment, face unreadable. Jane shifts feeling nervous. Constance had seemed supportive when Maura had shared their relationship status but maybe they had been wrong. Then Constance pulls off her sunglasses and smiles warmly at Jane, ‘of course. I wouldn’t miss my daughter or my grandchild’s baby shower!’ 

Jane grins, relief coursing through her, ‘I’ll take you to the nursery. I think Maura would prefer a more private surprise.’ 

‘I would love to see the nursery,’ Constance says closing her car door and dismissing her driver. 

Jane signals Frankie to distract Maura before showing Constance up to the nursery. Constance gasps slightly, her eyes growing watery as she enters the green sanctuary. ‘It’s so beautiful,’ Constance whispers. She traces the furniture softly with her fingertips before smiling at Jane, ‘and it’s so much like Maura’s first nursery.’ 

‘It is?’ Jane asks in amazement. 

‘It is,’ Constance whispers softly, ‘she wouldn’t remember, of course. We repainted her room with a ballet theme when she was about three. I’ve always loved this colour. It’s just like-.’

‘Her eyes,’ Jane finishes the thought with Constance. They share a small knowing smile and Jane gestures awkwardly behind her, ‘I’m gonna go… get… her… Maura.’ 

Jane hurries down the stairs just as the guys cheer loudly. Jane is tempted to watch the instant replay but then Jane thinks about seeing Maura’s face and that keeps her moving forward. Maura has been swallowed into the middle of a grandma gossip party and is looking both flustered and uncertain. ‘Ma!’ Jane says loudly enough to get the yammering women’s attention, ‘I gotta borrow Maura real quick.’ 

‘Sure honey,’ Angela says, waving a dismissive hand. 

Maura mouths a thank you to Jane and begins extricating herself from the group, weaving her way around chairs and bodies. Jane holds out a hand, squeezing Maura’s when it lands in hers. Jane tugs Maura back towards the stairs and down the hallway. She pauses at the doorway. Jane turns to face Maura, ‘I, uh, I have a surprise for you.’ 

‘You do?’ Maura asks, her eyes lighting up in wonder. ‘In the nursery?’ Her eyes glance over Jane’s shoulder, as though she could see through the door. ‘What is it?’ 

Jane laughs, ‘I’ll show you in just a minute. I just….’ Jane pauses considering her words, ‘I know I’ve said it before and I know I’ll say it again. I couldn’t do this without you Maura. None of it. And I know that a lot of this party is about me. Well,’ Jane says frowning, ‘actually it’s really about my Ma.’ Jane shakes her head, ‘but this is about you too. You’re becoming a mother and this is a celebration of you too. And I just want you to know that I know that, I see that, it’s real and important and…’ Jane lets out a sigh, her words not coming out the way she wants them to. ‘What I’m saying is, this is about you too and I don’t want you or I to ever forget that. Okay?’ Maura’s eyes are watery and she nods, wiping and sniffling. Jane leans in, pressing a kiss to Maura’s cheek. ‘I love you,’ Jane says tenderly.

‘I love you too Jane,’ Maura whispers. Jane grins and then steps aside, letting Maura open the door. 

Maura steps forward, shooting one more look toward Jane, who nods at her and makes a go gesture with her hands, before turning the handle. Maura’s mouth drops, the water in her eyes turns to outright tears. Jane hears a strangled, ‘Mother?’ 

And then Constance is enveloping Maura in her arms. Constance presses a kiss to Maura’s temple, ‘hello dear.’ 

Maura cries softly in her mother’s arms, ‘I am sorry.’ 

‘That is quite alright,’ Constance says holding her daughter tightly. ‘So long as they’re happy tears, cry away.’ 

Maura nods and buries her face into her mother’s shoulder. Constance looks about as out of place holding Maura as Maura had looked when they first became friends. Jane had to smile at that because as much of an outsider as Maura might feel in her family, she was absolutely her mother’s daughter. 

When Maura pulls back, she looks more composed and still somewhat thunderstruck, ‘what are you doing here mother? I thought you had a lecture circuit at Oxford.’ 

‘I do,’ Constance says with a smile, ‘but I could hardly miss my daughter’s baby shower.’ Constance touches Maura’s cheek with a hesitancy and awkwardness Jane sees in Maura’s own movements. ’Becoming a mother…’ Constance's voice chokes up as she looks at her daughter, ‘is one of life’s greatest gifts.’ 

‘Maman,’ Maura says in an emotional voice. What comes from her mouth next, Jane could hardly follow. It’s emotional, fast and in fluent French and Jane can’t quite keep up. Constance replies in turn and then the pair hug once more before separating and wiping their eyes. 

‘If you will excuse me, I believe I will go freshen up before joining the festivities,’ Constance says lightly. She squeezes Maura’s hand and smiles at Jane before disappearing. 

‘Are you okay?’ Jane asks after the room has been silent for a long moment. 

‘Yes,’ Maura says, her voice sounding shaky and uncertain. 

‘Can we stay here for a little bit?’ Jane asks, offering Maura an out, ‘I’m a little overwhelmed down there.’ 

Maura lets out a breath of relief, ‘yes. Let us.’ 

Jane lowers herself into a seated position against the wall, when Maura hesitates, Jane pats the spot beside her. Maura slips effortlessly on to the floor and Jane is reminded that she will one day soon be able to sit on the floor without needing an hour to do it. 

‘I cannot believe my mother came,’ Maura whispers sounding awed, ‘how did you get my mother to come?’ 

Jane shrugs, ‘I just invited her. Told her we were having a baby shower and that we would love for her to be here. She did all the rest.’ 

‘I cannot believe it,’ Maura repeats herself. 

Jane take’s Maura’s hand, ‘she loves you and she’s trying, really trying to show it. You’re more alike than you know.’ 

‘You think so?’ Maura asks. 

‘I do,’ Jane says, ‘and it makes me wonder how alike you and our little one will be. Maybe they’ll even have a little of Constance in them.’ 

Maura rubs her free hand affectionately over Jane’s belly, ‘I think I’d like that.’

‘Maybe,’ Jane says softly, ‘the three of you could even speak French together.’ 

Maura grins up at Jane, ‘Je t’aime beaucoup.’

Jane doesn’t need a translator for that, she grins down at Maura, rubs her thumb over Maura’s knuckles and whispers back ’ti amo con tutto il cuore.’ Maura grins before pressing up claiming a kiss from Jane, soft and sweet, but it gets Jane’s heart pumping. ‘How long do you think we have before the grandma’s start to miss us?’ 

Maura’s eyes take on a particular sparkle that Jane knows only come out when she’s feeling turned on. Maura shifts to be straddling Jane’s lap, she leans in, her lips almost touching Jane’s and whispers, ‘long enough.’ 

They’re just getting to the good parts when there’s a knock on the nursery door. Jane groans when Frankie’s voice sounds out, ‘uh Janie? Maura? Ma wants to do gifts now… so… you know.’ 

‘We can just ignore him,’ Jane murmurs against Maura’s neck, ‘he’ll go away eventually.’ 

Maura lets out a breathy chuckle, ‘perhaps but then your mother would come to find us.’ 

Jane moans, ‘but it was just getting good.’ 

‘How about,’ Maura says kissing below Jane’s ear, her voice low and sultry, ‘after everyone leaves I…’ and then Maura whispers very, very detailed plans for the two of them into Jane’s earlobe and it takes all of Jane’s self-control and another poorly timed knock from Frankie to not continue down the path they’re on. 

‘We’re coming, we’re coming,’ Jane calls, straightening each other’s clothes and hair as best they can. 

‘You’ll have to wash your lips,’ Maura says softly, her thumb swiping over Jane’s lips, ‘you have my lipstick on them.’ Jane kisses that thumb before offering her trademark grin. She’d take having to ‘freshen up’ for a make out session with Maura every time. 

‘Janie,’ Frankie whines with another knock. 

‘We’re coming!’ Jane and Maura call together before bursting into a fit of giggles. 

The rest of the party is relatively painless. Jane let’s Maura open most of the presents, knowing Maura would delight far more in the tiny outfits being paraded before her than Jane would. Maura does present Jane with her own gift, a laminated copy of their birth plan that had in big bold letters the words ‘ **All the drugs!’** as the very first point. It made Jane laugh and made the macho cop types squirm. They have cake and Jane is almost certain there are a series of covert games happening around her but since no one asks to measure her belly or to sniff a diaper with melted food on it, Jane decides to let her Ma have her fun. The masses trickle away, leaving a tired crew to help clean up. Even Angela is too tired to shoo Jane or Maura away from helping and neither one of them mentioned that the sooner the cleaning was over, the sooner everyone else would leave, and the sooner they could have their own celebration. And then, Jane and Maura are blissfully and wonderfully alone for the first time that day and Jane doesn’t bother to waste time with words. Maura, for her part, is true to her word and delivers every bit of what she had promised earlier that day and then some.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are very slowly approaching my friends. I currently have 6 ish chapter planned, with some room for additional content but probably not much. So prepare yourselves BUT... the first chapter of Counterparts, the sequel to Partners will be up and breaking your hearts on Valentine's day (AK time)!


	25. January ~ 38 weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 38 weeks y'all! We're soooooo close! <3

‘That feels so good Maura,’ Jane moans salaciously as Maura presses against her. Maura leans forward and presses a kiss to Jane’s spine right between her shoulder blades, her hand pushing on Jane’s tailbone, providing counter pressure to the baby on Jane’s spine. Jane hangs her head, her arms supporting herself as she leans against the kitchen counter, feeling relief through her aching back. Jane moans again, sounding for all she’s worth like she’s having the best orgasm of her life rather than having her girlfriend press on her spine.

‘Are you in more pain than usual today?’ Maura asks softly, ‘would you like a to take a bath, have a back rub.’

‘Yes,’ Jane replies, ‘but only if you’ll join me.’

‘It would be my pleasure,’ Maura says kissing Jane’s spine again. ‘Let me draw the bath.’

‘Wait,’ Jane whimpers as Maura lets up, ‘a few more minutes?’ Maura chuckles and presses against her again and Jane moans loudly. She did not understand the physics of this or what her body was doing but Jane had never been more grateful for Maura’s unique knowledge and skill set for giving Jane much needed relief.

Maura draws them both a bath, settling in first. Jane climbs in after, grateful for Maura’s extra large tub. She settles between Maura’s legs and slips lower into the water to find her favourite position to rest her head on Maura’s chest. Jane sighs happily. She was looking forward to being able to switch positions.

When Jane is relaxed and happily soaking Maura says softly, ‘we should finish packing our hospital bags tonight.’ Maura drags a soft palm across Jane’s belly, ‘they could come any day now.’

Jane grumbles, ‘I wish they would.’

Maura kisses the side of Jane’s head with a chuckle, ‘are you ready to talk names yet?’

‘Can we? We don’t know the sex yet,’ Jane retorts but there’s no true resistance in it.

Maura rubs Jane’s shoulders lightly, ‘well we could always choose something unisex.’

‘True,’ Jane murmurs, relaxing as Maura rubs.

‘Or,’ Maura says, ‘we could come up with boy names and girl names.’

‘Alright,’ Jane agrees sounding far more invested in her back rub than in naming.

‘Have any favourites?’ Maura asks softly, pressing a kiss to a sudsy spot on Jane’s neck.

‘Mmm,’ Jane moans, ‘not really.’

‘I had one,’ Maura says moving to rub lower on Jane’s back. Wordlessly, Jane leans forward giving Maura more space to work with.

‘Okay,’ Jane says sounding deeply relaxed.

‘I’m not sure how you’d feel about it but it would be unisex,’ Maura reasons.

‘Mmm,’ Jane says in reply, ‘right there.’

Maura focuses on the spot and then says, ‘what about Casey?’ Jane tenses, freezing. ‘It could be a good way to honour him.’

Jane does some impressive repositioning to be able to look at Maura, ‘you want to name our kid after my ex? You’d be okay with that?’

Maura touches Jane’s cheek, ‘I’d name our child after person you loved and lost, yes. He was instrumental to their existence.’

‘You’re amazing, you know,’ Jane whispers, pressing a kiss to Maura’s palm.

Maura smiles, ‘no. I just…’ Maura considers her words, ‘how could I begrudge him a namesake when I have the honour of raising them?’

Jane leans forward, pressing a kiss to Maura’s lips, ‘I like it. Not for a first name but maybe the middle.’

Maura smiles at Jane, ‘I also bought a shadow box.’

Jane frowns, her eyebrows furrowing, ‘the bulky picture frame things?’

Maura nods, ‘I thought… we could display Casey’s letter, dog tags, and medals.’

‘In the baby’s room?’ Jane asks. Maura nods again. ‘You don’t think that would be weird.’

Maura considers the question, ‘I think knowing where and who you came from is important. I do not want to lie or hide it. I do not want to pretend something happened that did not happen. Casey is a part of our story, he is the male biological counterpart and if he were alive he would be their father and a part of their life. They should know their father loved them and a bit about who he was.’

‘I think,’ Jane says quietly, struggling to hide her emotions, ‘I’d like that too, thank you Maura.’

Maura claims a kiss, ‘you are welcome.’ Jane turns and settles back against her and Maura resumes her back rub.

‘Is there anyone you’d want to name them after?’ Jane asks.

‘There are a number of prominent-‘ Maura begins but Jane cuts her off.

‘We aren’t naming our kid after some scientist you admire who played with radioactive rocks for fun,’ her voice is teasing.

‘Marie Curie was not playing,’ Maura says scandalised, ‘she was expanding our scientific knowledge. Without her, most of the techniques we use to catch criminals would not exist.’

’Still became irradiated and kicked the bucket,’ Jane says. ‘I was thinking more like family, friends, you know.’

Maura lets out an exasperated sigh and shakes her head, ‘I don’t think I could name our kid after any of our friends. It would be odd and what would everyone else say?’

‘Agreed,’ Jane says, ‘I couldn’t imagine yelling for Frances or Vince to come to dinner.’

‘What about Angela?’ Maura asks lightly.

‘And inflate that head of hers further? No way!’ Jane says emphatically, ‘she’s already insisting that Nonna knows best. If we name this poor kid after her, we wouldn’t be doing anyone any favours.’ Maura chuckles but doesn’t disagree. ‘I would…’ Jane begins before faltering off.

‘Yes,’ Maura says, wrapping her arms around Jane in a hug from behind.

‘I’d like for it to be Italian. You know… to honour my family,’ Jane says softly.

‘Okay,’ Maura says with a smile. She presses another kiss to Jane’s cheek, ‘Italian it is.’

‘Thanks,’ Jane murmurs sleepily, ‘can we go take a nap now?’

‘Of course,’ Maura says softly. They climb out and dry off but neither of them bother to dress. Maura had always been a nude sleeper and Jane had been too hot to sleep in anything but the nude these days. Even in the dead of winter. Maura climbs in to bed, settling herself before holding her arms open for Jane to come and create her bed nest.

‘Love you Maur,’ Jane murmurs sleepily, nuzzling into Maura’s chest affectionately.

Maura runs her hands through Jane’s hair, scraping her scalp in a way she knows the raven haired woman loves. ‘I love you too sweetie.’ Jane sighs happily and slips quietly into sleep within minutes.

Maura lies awake a while longer, thinking about her conversation with Jane. Maybe she ought to feel more threatened by Casey’s presence in their life but Maura wasn’t. Mostly, Maura was grateful. The man had given her a family. Maybe in an unconventional way but it was still hers and Maura wouldn’t trade it for the world. Jane was Maura’s favourite gift of all time and Maura knew without even having met them yet that the baby would be just as wonderful. Maura could afford to be generous with Casey because, in the end, Maura was here. Maura got to be Jane’s favourite body pillow, she got to be there to choose names, to rub Jane’s back. Maura would get to sing lullabies and change diapers. Maura falls asleep to the happy thought of Jane singing softly to their bundled newborn, all soft and tender. Moments and memories that Maura and Maura alone would be the keeper of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Casey is one of my best friend's name so I had to claim it for the little but don't you worry. Jane still has one more surprise in store for Maura. 
> 
> Also, Maura totally has had HER bag packed for the last month and it is absolutely stressing her out that Jane still hasn't packed hers. To the point that she probably has repacked her bag to make sure Jane has the basics. Just in case. It's basically canon.


	26. January ~ 40 weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE NOTE THE RATING CHANGE. 
> 
> NSFW Chapter (probably the one of the few you will ever get from me)

Maura moves her tongue deftly through Jane’s folds, her hand curling to brush Jane's front wall before pulling back to slip in a second finger. Jane moans above her. Maura hums against her in reply. 

‘Maura! Maura! Wait!’ Jane says tugging gently at Maura. 

Maura freezes, lifting her head to look at Jane. ‘Yes? Are you alright?’ Maura’s eyebrows furrow and the corners of her mouth dip into a frown, ‘did I hurt you?’ 

‘No!’ Jane pants. ‘I just realised!’ 

‘Yes?’ Maura asks patiently. 

‘You can check my dilation!’ Jane says excitedly. 

‘Uh,’ Maura says looking down at her fingers still buried knuckles deep in Jane. ‘Right now?’ 

‘Yeah!’ Jane exclaims, ‘you’re already, you know, down there. And I prefer your fingers to some doctor! What’s the big deal?’ The look on Jane’s face is eager and innocent. Maura doesn’t want to disappoint Jane but... 

‘We are in the middle of sex Jane,’ Maura says evenly, ‘sex that I _thought_ we were both enjoying.’ 

‘I am,’ Jane replies, ‘I love it when you do that finger curl! But then you added a second finger and the stretch felt so good and then I realised that’s like dilation. And you’re a doctor.’

‘You are just realising that?’ Maura teases. 

‘Well no but you are a doctor and you could give me an exam!’ Jane retorts. 

Maura can’t believe they are having this conversation. ‘Right now?’ Maura asks, raising an eyebrow, ‘you want me to give you an exam right now?’ 

‘Yeah!’ Jane says, ‘why not?!’ 

‘Because,’ Maura says, trying for sultry and afraid it’s only coming out as annoyed, ‘doctors do not usually get to do this.’ Maura brings her thumb up to tease Jane’s clit making Jane buck and groan. ‘Or this,’ Maura says leaning her head back down to press soft open mouthed kisses to Jane’s pelvic bones. 

‘Uh that’s,’ Jane pants, ‘that’s a good point.’ Then Jane regained her composure, ‘but can’t you just, real quick?’ 

Maura let out a sigh. She looks back up at Jane. ‘I can. Later. But being like this and trying to give you a medical exam as a doctor feels... unethical. I would prefer to focus on one thing at a time. Sex now. Exams later. When I can look at you without wanting to touch you in inappropriate ways.’ 

‘Oh, yeah sure. Later,’ Jane says face falling, ‘sorry if I killed the mood.’ 

‘That is alright,’ Maura says smiling sultrily, ‘I can get it back!’ She says it with so much confidence that Jane feels instantly turned on. Sexy, beautiful, confident Maura really just hits all of Jane’s buttons. And then Maura’s tongue returns to her previous ministrations and it doesn’t take Jane long at all and given how quickly Maura follows her maybe Jane hadn't completely killed the mood after all. Two rounds later sees Maura tapping out. 

‘Time out,’ Maura pants breathlessly, ‘I need some water.’ Maura slips from bed disappearing into the bathroom. 

‘Maura,’ Jane whines, her own breath coming out ragged. ‘Come back, I need you.’ 

Water runs for a moment before Maura reappears with a full glass of water. ‘Drink,’ Maura says, offering it to Jane, ‘you’re likely dehydrated.’ 

Jane gulps some down, gratefully. When she’s had her fill, Maura finishes off the rest of the glass. Jane grabs her before she can disappear for more, ‘come back to bed with me.’ 

‘Jane,’ Maura says with all the patience and love she can muster, ‘we just went multiple rounds.’ 

‘Yeah but Dr. Kiviraj says sex is a good inducer,’ Jane counters, ‘come on Maura induce me.’ 

Maura rolls her eyes, ‘I did. Three times.’ Maura tugs her arm lightly, not really fighting to break from Jane’s hold. 

Jane’s grip tightens, ‘Maura,’ Jane says more than a hint of frustration in her voice, ‘you have to get this baby out of me. Okay? I’m done. I’m done being pregnant. Get this baby out of me or so help me God.’ 

Maura glances at the bedside clock and sighs. Like clockwork, it had been too long since Jane’s last meal. The hangry was coming out, ‘how about we get some food in you? We can go for a walk, you can bounce on my yoga ball and we’ll re-evaluate tonight. Okay?’

Jane pouts for a minute but Maura knows based on how quickly she relents that Jane must be hungry. Maura pulls on clothing, feeling pleasantly sore from her afternoon in bed with Jane. ‘How about Thai food?’ Jane asks, laying stark naked on their bed staring miserably at her very pregnant belly. 

Maura makes a face that she’s glad Jane cannot see, ‘we have had Thai every day this week.’ 

‘They have a dish called the inducer Maura. That’s what we’re trying to do here, remember? Inducing?’ Jane says sarcastically. 

‘I do not think there is a scientific basis for that name,’ Maura says raising an eyebrow at Jane. 

‘You said capsaicin could induce,’ Jane says pouting. 

Maura leans forward kissing those pouting lips, ‘alright I’ll find you an alternative, not Thai based, inducing plate.’ 

‘Thank you,’ Jane says. Jane looks back at her belly and then says, ‘maybe make it two.’ 

Maura laughs, ‘I’ll even order a side of antacid for when they revolt against your plans.’ 

‘You’re my favourite,’ Jane says shooting a dimpled grin that makes Maura wonder if putting her clothes back on really was the best choice. The twinge of soreness in her forearm reminds her that it indeed was. 

‘Do you hear that little one?’ Maura says conspiratorially to Jane’s belly, ‘you better hurry up and get out of there. You are driving your Mama un peu fou.’ Jane sniffles and Maura looks up in horror as tears leak from Jane’s eyes. ‘Jane?’ Maura asks, ‘baby what is it? What’s wrong?’ 

‘Nothing,’ Jane says sniffing and turning to hide her blushing cheeks, ‘it’s just really cute when you do that. I’m going to miss you talking to my belly.’ 

Maura blinks at the absolute reversal of emotions, ‘oh.’ It’s the only thing Maura can think to say that won’t prompt further tears. 

‘Go,’ Jane says flapping a hand, ‘go find something to get this stubborn monster child out. I want my body back.’ Jane sniffs again and Maura is torn. 

‘Okay,’ Maura says at last. She presses a soft kiss to Jane’s forehead, completely baffled by Jane’s behaviour. ‘I love you.’ 

‘You too,’ Jane says with another loud and obvious sniff. 

Maura walks down the stairs in a daze. Maura’s not sure how long she’s been staring at her now dark screen on her phone when Angela walks into the kitchen. 

‘Oh hi Maura honey,’ Angela says big and friendly. 

‘I made Jane cry,’ Maura blurts out. ‘She was fine, a little anxious to get the baby to come but fine and then she was sobbing.’ 

Angela stares at Maura for a minute before laughing, ‘that’s just pregnancy Maura.’ 

‘She has not been this emotional the whole time,’ Maura refutes, ‘maybe something is wrong. Maybe something is wrong with the baby. I should go check on her.’ 

Angela catches Maura before she can race back up the stairs to give Jane a full check up. ‘There’s nothing wrong with Jane, Maura,’ Angela says tugging Maura to a seat at the island. ’It’s just the way pregnancy ends. Jane’s sad it’s ending. You carry that little person around for 40 weeks and you start to get used to having them there. She’s also anxious because they’ll be here soon and she’s not sure she can be a parent. And you’re afraid something will happen to them. At least when they were inside your womb, you controlled what they went through. You could protect them. Then they come out and they have to face the big bad world and it can be scary and it can break your heart.’ 

‘Because you love them more than anything,’ Maura says softly, she knew exactly what Angela meant, ‘and the idea of something happening to them is more terrifying than anything you have ever felt before.’ 

‘That’s parenthood,’ Angela confirms, ‘it would be enough to make anyone emotional and then you add the hormones.’ Angela laughs, ‘when I was pregnant, I could go from madly in love with and aroused by Frank to wanting him to get that baby outta there _now_. The poor man was so confused.’ 

Maura stares wide eyed, ‘and that’s, that’s normal right?’ 

‘Absolutely,’ Angela says with a laugh. ‘Listen, honey,’ Angela says, taking Maura’s hand into her own, ‘Jane’s going to be a lot to deal with until that baby comes. And then she and the baby will be a lot to deal with in completely different and equally exhausting ways. You just love her the best you know how and trust that when she comes down from all this, she’ll know.’ 

‘Know what?’ Maura asks, feeling confused. 

‘That you love her. Adore her. Would move heaven and earth for her.’ Angela says dreamily. Then she snaps back, ‘You just keep showing up and doing your best Maura. That’s all you can do. Even when you make her cry or make her angry, she still knows you love her.’ Angela hesitates then she says softly, ‘maybe one day, she’ll get to do the same for you.’ That idea warms Maura from head to toe. She had always wanted to experience pregnancy. The idea of Jane pampering her was appealing, especially since Maura suspected Jane would be very, very good at it. ‘Well, I just came to borrow some tea,’ Angela says with a beaming smile. ‘I’ll get out of your way,’ Angela wiggles her eyebrows in a way that makes Maura laugh and probably would have Jane blushing. ‘Text or call if you need help with _soon to pop_ up there,’ Angela whispers the soon to pop part, indicating some level of superstition Maura is unaware of. 

So Maura does just that. She orders Jane spicy food and antacids. She holds Jane’s hand and scoops up Jo Friday’s poop on their walk. Maura rubs Jane’s feet when they get home. She rubs Jane’s back. And she gives Jane as many orgasms as the woman could take. Maura does everything she possibly can to show Jane that she loves her, is there for her. Maura shows up and keeps showing up. Much to Jane’s displeasure, the baby does not. Their due date comes and goes with no indication of progress and Maura does her best to help Jane ride the waves of emotions that come with that. Even when that meant comforting Jane after making her cry, or being certain to carry a snack on her at all times, for fear of the 90 minutes hangry monster. In the end, when all of this was over, Maura wants Jane to know one thing beyond any shadow of a doubt. Maura wants Jane to know that she loves her with her whole heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my love <3


	27. February ~ 42 Weeks Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: discussion of delivery methods and risks including induction, c-section, amniotic fluid embolism (not graphic)
> 
> SQUEAMISH READER WARNINGS: vomiting, contractions, medical vaginal exams. 
> 
> Basically we're getting to the actual baby delivering part. Part one is not terribly graphic but part two is mildly graphic. I'd say skip it if you're squeamish (and you totally can) but it's honestly some of the cutest crap I have ever written so...
> 
> Some might consider this a cliffhanger?!

Jane grunts as Doctor Kaviraj gives her an exam. Maura squeezes her hand lightly and smiles at Jane softly. 

‘Well,’ Doctor Kaviraj says, pulling her hand away, ‘you must have built a very cozy home for that little one.’ 

‘No progress?’ Maura asks a frown on her face. 

Jane groans louder, ‘you’ve got to be kidding me! We’re doing all the things.’ 

‘You’re more dilated from your last appointment but I am concerned it is not happening fast enough,’ Doctor Kaviraj says, ‘I think we should begin considering inducing or caesarean section.’ 

‘Yes!’ Jane exclaims quickly, ‘post an eviction notice! Kick them outta there!’ Doctor Kaviraj chuckles at Jane’s joke. 

‘Which would you recommend, Doctor?’ Maura asks, her voice sounding strained with concern. Jane frowns and squeezes Maura’s hand. She wanted this kid out yesterday, but she didn’t like worrying Maura either. 

‘In this instance, given the baby’s latest measurements and the Detective’s overall health,’ Doctor Kaviraj says with a smile for Jane, ‘I have no concerns about inducing. Everything is healthy and progressing normally. Technically, you could continue to wait for the natural process. The baby is just enjoying a little extra time with mom.’ 

‘What do ya think?’ Jane asks Maura, ‘what should we do?’ 

Maura bites her lip, her eyes flicking back and forth as though she were reading an invisible textbook. Jane realised, she might very well be. Maura’s mind was always doing amazing things. ‘There are risks with each option,’ Maura begins, keeping her tone careful. 

‘That is correct,’ Doctor Kaviraj, ‘but we have no reason to think there will be complications.’ 

‘Complications?’ Jane says looking from doctor to doctor, ‘like what? What risks Maura?’ 

Maura squeezes Jane’s hand and offers a reassuring smile, ‘which do you want to hear first?’ 

‘What if we wait?’ Jane asks, ‘do nothing?’ 

‘Most likely?’ Maura asks waiting for Jane to affirm, ‘nothing. You will go into labor when you go into labor and everything will be alright.’ 

‘But?’ Jane prompts. 

‘At a certain point,’ Maura says, ‘the placenta ceases to provide enough oxygen and nutritional sustenance for the baby. They could become distressed. They could also begin to lose fluid in their…’ Maura frowns, clearly looking for an alternative. 

‘Sack?’ Jane says not caring that the word is gross. Maura nods. ‘What else?’ 

‘You could see a rise in blood pressure, develop preeclampsia, and a host of other issues that can develop with any pregnancy,’ Maura says. She checks in with Doctor Kaviraj to ensure she hasn’t exaggerated or left anything out. 

‘Okay,’ Jane says chewing a lip, ‘and if we do the surgery?’ 

‘Typical risks associated with surgery, reaction to the medicines, infection, accidental cuts in places they should not be,’ Maura says steadily, ‘the possibility that amniotic fluid from the sack could enter your bloodstream which could cause massive organ failure and issues with your blood clotting. It’s rare but possible. The most probable risk is that it could prevent you from delivering vaginally in the future.’ 

‘Well,’ Jane says, ‘that doesn’t sound great.’ 

Maura nods, ‘it is very safe but it is a risk we have to consider.’ 

‘What if we induce?’ Jane asks her fear making her voice quiver. 

Maura lifts Jane’s hand and kisses it softly, ‘much like surgery, there’s a risk of an allergic reaction or an infection. The most frequently reported complaints are extended labor and harder contractions. It also could impact the baby’s lungs and heart rate. The biggest risk is that in the event that inducing fails, we would have to perform a cesarean.’ 

‘Usually,’ Doctor Kaviraj speaks up, ‘we try to go from least invasive and work our way up. Currently, you’re doing natural non-invasive things. Having sex, eating spicy food. Those are easily reversible or temporary choices.’ Doctor Kaviral stacks her left hand on top of her right to indicate a step up, ‘the next least invasive is to induce which requires medication and cannot be reversed.’ Doctor Kaviraj moves her left hand above her right, ‘and caesarean is the most invasive. So typically I would recommend we try inducing before cesarean.’ 

‘Maura?’ Jane asks, looking at Maura for the right answer. Jane wasn’t sure what was best. 

Maura smiles at Jane, rubbing her thumb over Jane’s knuckles, ‘I think we take Doctor Kaviraj’s advice. If she thinks we should induce, then we should induce. She is an expert and an excellent doctor. We could not be in better hands.’ 

‘Do we have to do it now?’ Jane asks, ‘I don’t have my bag or anything.’ 

‘No we do not,’ Doctor Kaviraj says with a smile, ‘we’ll book you an appointment for tomorrow or the day after and we would go from there.’ 

‘So,’ Jane asks, feeling a sliver of excitement, ‘you’re saying I could be _not_ pregnant in the next 48 hours?’ 

Doctor Kaviraj laughs, ‘I’m saying we could get you headed down that path, yes.’ 

‘And the risks aren’t likely?’ Jane asks Maura. 

Maura kisses Jane’s hand again, ‘the numbers say you will most likely deliver a happy, healthy baby with a normal healthy delivery. So I vote we have a nice Valentine’s day dinner and celebrate our last night as not parents. Then we can come in first thing on the 15th and post their eviction notice.’ 

Jane grins at Maura, ‘it’s a date!’ Then Jane looks at Doctor Kaviraj, ‘with both of you, I guess.’ 

Doctor Kaviraj laughs, ‘it’s a date. I’ll have the nurse get you booked.’ 

Jane can’t help the giddy feeling coming over her. She got to have a romantic Valentine’s date with Maura and then she’d get to have her body back all to herself. And they’d get to meet their baby. They’d be here. In her arms. A screaming, pooping, probably starving if they were anything like Jane, precious little baby. Jane glances at Maura, studying the other woman under her lashes. Motherhood had always looked good on Maura but thinking about Maura holding _their_ baby, rocking _their_ baby, singing her silly French lullabies that Jane secretly loved to _their_ baby. That was the stuff dreams were made of. No, Jane realises as Maura’s hazel eyes meet hers and she smiles warmly, that was the stuff happily ever afters were made of and Jane was living hers. 

They spend the rest of their day preparing. They go grocery shopping, holding hands throughout the store. Maura sends Jane off to take a bath or a nap while she unpacks the groceries, an offer Jane happily takes. Jane soaks in the tub, crooning lightly to her belly along with the radio before climbing into bed for a nice afternoon nap. Jane wakes to kisses on her back and Maura’s hands on her naked hips. Jane moans. 

‘Good afternoon,’ Maura murmurs between kisses, ‘I did not want to let you sleep too long.’ 

Jane moans again, ‘as long as you keep doing what you’re doing, you can wake me anytime.’ Maura lets out a breathy chuckle against Jane’s skin, sending a flare of goosebumps and pleasure all along Jane’s spine. Then Maura follows Jane’s every fervently whispered desire. 

The Rizzoli’s and family come over for dinner. When Nina, Frost, Vince, and all of the Rizzoli’s are seated around Maura’s table, Jane tells them that she’ll be induced on the 15th and the room erupts in to cheers. Angela weeps openly, Frankie and Tommy pound each other on the back, Frost, Vince and Nina exchange money on some kind of bet. Jane find’s Maura’s eyes and smiles. Definitely a happily ever after. 

Jane wakes first on Valentine’s day, her bladder requiring immediate release. Extrication was complicated enough that Jane is tempted to just _be_ up but then Jane returns and sees Maura’s naked breasts, pert from the cold. Jane decides that it is Valentine’s day and it _is_ their _last_ day without a kid and therefore some play is required and Jane has the perfect plan for waking Maura. A plan that earns her a very enthusiastic response even before Maura is fully awake. Maura happily and eagerly returns the favour until Jane taps out, exhausted and muscles spasming. 

Most of their day is spent quietly. Jane double checks her bag and the baby’s, even though she knows they’ve been ready for nearly a month now. They walk Jo Friday slowly around the block. Maura rubs her hands quickly together, trying to stay warm as a storm rolls over Boston. Jo Friday sticks to Jane’s side, huddled against her favourite human to protect against the wind and the cold. Jane laughs when the dog even growls at another approaching dog on their afternoon walk. The cold made the poor dog miserable. 

Angela follows them in from their walk, asking about their dinner plans, a secret that Maura was tight lipped about. Jane laughs at Maura’s adamance that it will be a surprise for Jane, who would have happily eaten TV dinners with Maura much less whatever fancy plans the woman had planned. Angela tells them about the reservations Sean Cavanaugh had made for them. Angela kisses Jane’s head and promises to be back in the morning to see them off for the induction. Jane waves a dismissive hand, vaguely ill over the idea of her mother’s sex life. 

When her mother is gone, Jane pulls Maura in between her legs, pressing a kiss to the woman’s lips. When they part Jane murmurs, ‘come take a bath with me.’ 

‘Hmm,’ Maura says pretending to think, ‘I am not sure I have time. I have a very, very sexy date tonight.’ 

‘Yeah?’ Jane murmurs, ‘how sexy?’ 

‘The sexiest,’ Maura murmurs against Jane’s lips making Jane shiver in delight. 

‘Well,’ Jane replies, ‘that’s not possible because I definitely have the sexiest date tonight.’ 

Maura laughs, clear and bright. The sun catches the skin on her throat, highlighting the curve of her neck into her collarbone and all Jane can do is gulp. Maura looks back down at her, green eyes glimmering. ‘I love you,’ Maura whispers pushing their lips together in a soft adoring lock. Jane kisses back, perfectly content. 

‘So,’ Jane whispers as their lips part ever so slightly, ‘how about that bath? We’ll be all nice and shiny for our dates.’ 

‘I do like being shiny,’ Maura says, ‘come on.’ She intertwines their hands and leads Jane up the stairs, green eyes sparkling in laughter. Jane’s never been so happy to follow Maura’s lead. 

‘I’m excited to be able to switch positions when we do this,’ Jane says later as they snuggle beneath the bubbles, ‘for me to hold you when we’re bathing.’ 

‘I like holding you,’ Maura says pressing a kiss to the junction between Jane’s shoulder and neck. 

Jane squeezes Maura’s hands before resting her head more fully on Maura, ‘I like you holding me.’ 

‘Are you feeling alright?’ Maura asks when Jane’s been quiet for a time. 

‘Yeah,’ Jane says softly, ‘but do you think we could stay in tonight? I know we said it's our last night and if you really want to go out we can but I just want to be home. With you. Preferably naked.’ 

Maura chuckles in Jane’s ear, ‘that was my plan all along. Well not the naked part.’ 

‘The naked part is a must,’ Jane retorts closing her eyes as a wave of exhaustion sweeps over her. She fights a yawn, ‘I like seeing you naked.’ 

‘What a coincidence,’ Maura says, ‘because I like seeing you naked.’ Her hands brushing Jane’s skin, working their way down her breasts and over Jane’s stomach. Jane expects them to continue on but instead they pause. ‘Jane?’ Maura says in a voice that Jane knows she only uses when actively trying to keep Jane from panicking, ‘I think you’re having a contraction. Are you in pain?

Jane hums in acknowledgment, ‘not really. It’s uncomfortable but not painful.’ 

‘How long have you been uncomfortable for, sweetie?’ Maura asks, kissing Jane’s neck again, her hands rubbing the hard plain of Jane’s contracting abdomen providing a bit of relief. 

‘Off and on, for the last few hours,’ Jane says with a shrug ‘but it’s not that bad.’ 

‘You might be in early labor,’ Maura says softly. 

‘Yippee,’ Jane says snuggling closer to Maura even as her stomach softens the contraction moving away, ‘does that change our plans?’ 

‘No,’ Maura says, pressing a kiss to Jane’s temple, ‘not just yet.’ 

‘Okay,’ Jane says, ‘can I sleep here for a little bit? I’m tired.’ 

‘Of course,’ Maura says pressing another kiss to Jane’s temple, ‘I have got you sweetie.’ 

Jane rests in Maura’s arm, her back to Maura’s front. Jane closes her eyes, the feeling of Maura all around her, enveloping her and keeping her safe. Jane drifts off to the feel of Maura’s breathing steady and calming. She isn’t sure how long she’s been asleep when another contraction, tightens in her belly, rousing Jane. When it passes, they climb out and dry off. Jane lurches to the toilet, unexpectedly needing to vomit. Maura rubs her back, holding up her hair.

Jane can feel Maura watching her with careful eyes as Jane settles onto their bed, exhaustion sweeping over her. Maura tugs on her own clothes before kneeling gently beside Jane. 

‘Sweetie,’ Maura says rubbing Jane’s legs, ‘I’d like to give you a check up.’ 

Jane gives a grunt in the affirmative, spreading her legs for Maura to see with a ‘go ahead’ wave of her hand. Maura is careful and gentle, her hands infinitely more tender than Jane’s usual OB, and when she’s done Jane can see love and concern etched all over Maura’s face. ‘What’s the verdict doc?’ Jane asks teasingly. 

‘Well,’ Maura closes Jane’s thighs, ‘you are almost fully dilated.’ 

‘What?’ Jane asks, trying to sit up quickly and failing. ‘Maura I was at zilch yesterday. How can I be fully dilated tonight?’ 

Maura stands up, pressing a kiss to Jane’s forehead, ‘this is a good thing Jane. We are having a baby.’ When Maura pulls away its with a full smile for Jane.

‘Yeah?’ Jane asks, looking for reassurance.

‘Yes,’ Maura says with a smile. Maura goes to wash her hands. 

Jane is hit by another, more painful, contraction as Maura is walking back. ‘Ack!’ Jane cries grabbing her stomach, ‘mother f-.’ Maura is at her side in an instant. 

When the contraction passes, Maura says, ‘I’m going to take the bags to the car.’ 

‘What?’ Jane asks in alarm, ‘why?’ 

Maura smiles, pressing a kiss to Jane’s lips, ‘because they are going to be our Valentine’s day present.’ She points at Jane’s belly to make it clear who she is talking about. ‘Be right back,’ Maura says. She grabs both of their bags and disappears from view. 

Jane looks down at her belly in a mix of awe and trepidation. They were having a baby tonight. Jane and Maura were having a baby _tonight._

‘Oh God,’ Jane says, the word God extending into a moan as the next contraction sweeps over her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE BABY'S COMING! AHHHHHHHH!


	28. February ~ 42 Weeks Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SQUEAMISH READERS: Vaginal delivery including everything a vaginal delivery includes. 
> 
> If you somehow have managed to get this far and are unprepared... this is the chapter where I somewhat graphically detail a vaginal delivery. It's sorta realistic and mostly honest about the gross bits. So reader be ware

Maura flies down the stairs, a bag over each shoulder, she grabs her keys and shoves her feet into the first pair of shoes she finds: Jane’s boots. Maura opens the garage door, loads the bags into the trunk, turns on the car and hits the switch for the garage door. Maura almost misses it in her rush to get back to Jane, a flash of white catches the periphery of her eye. Snow. Inches of heavy wet snow. Maura stares as white fluffy flakes pour from the sky in a flurry, whipped to a frenzy that made seeing her own street difficult. Her road is unplowed, her driveway blocking her car in, and snow is still falling. Maura pulls out her phone and does a quick search to confirm her suspicions. 

Boston was in the middle of an unexpectedly bad storm. Roads were slippery, unplowed, and dangerous. People all across Boston were stranded in restaurants, forced to wait out the flurry. Maura does the math. It took 35 minutes to get from her house to the hospital. It could take 4 times that in this, assuming Maura’s car could even handle the unplowed snow and they could even see as they drove. Jane wouldn’t last 2 hours in the car in the snow. It was 15 minutes to get to BPD. Maura chews her lip in thought. She had more medical equipment there but she’s not certain they would even make it there within the hour. Maura hits the garage door button, watching it shut out the snow, her mind made up. 

Jane would have a home delivery. It was better than a backseat delivery. What Maura really needed was medical equipment brought to her. Maura grabs the bags back out of the car, finding the number she needed on her phone at the same time. 

‘What’s up Doc?’ Korsak asks as he answers. 

‘Are you at the station?’ Maura asks, keeping a reign on her emotions. 

‘Yeah,’ Korsak says in his Boston baroque. 

‘I need you to call an ambulance and send them to my house. Then I need you to go downstairs and grab me my medical supplies. Jane is in labor,’ Maura says calmly. 

There’s a moment of stunned silence but Korsak had always been quick to catch on, ‘on it. Whaddya need?’ 

Maura gives the man very detailed instructions as she carries the bags back inside and sets them at the door. ‘Vince,’ Maura says tightly, ‘tell the paramedics we are upstairs and the door is unlocked.’ 

‘Geeze Doc,’ Korsak curses, ‘how close is she?’ 

Maura tries to gauge her answer based on what she knows of obstetrics and the fact that Jane had likely been in labor most of the day. Leave it to Jane Rizzoli to think of labor as mild discomfort. ‘It is a distinct possibility,’ Maura says lightly, ‘that the baby will get here before you do.’ 

The detective makes some kind of muffled curse, ‘you want me to contact her family.’ 

‘No,’ Maura says, ‘just the paramedics and my equipment.’ 

‘Got it,’ Vince says, ‘see you soon. And Doc?’ 

‘Yes?’ Maura asks. 

‘Good luck,’ Vince says and Maura can hear the smile in his voice. This wasn’t exactly the plan but they were still having a baby and that thought makes Maura smile. 

Maura hangs up and slips off Jane’s boots, unlocking her front door, before making her way back upstairs. Jane is laying on her side, still naked, on the bed but her breath is laboured. ‘Hey,’ Jane says seeing Maura, ‘this is really starting to hurt. I’d like all the drugs now.’ 

Maura comes to lay on the bed beside Jane. She brushes strands of hair off of Jane’s sweating face and cups Jane’s cheek. ‘I love you,’ Maura says softly, ‘and I’m going to take care of you. Every step of the way.’ 

Jane huffs, ‘that sounds a lot like I love you but you aren’t getting drugs.’ Something must show on Maura’s face because Jane’s jaw drops and her eyes widen in alarm. ‘Maur?’ Jane asks, fear palpable, ‘why am I not getting d-?’ The rest of her sentence is cut off by a contraction. Maura does her best to hold Jane’s hand and encourage her to breath through it.

When the contraction fades and Jane’s face relaxes once more, Maura answers her question. ‘That storm from earlier?’ Maura asks, ‘it was worse than expected. Roads are blocked, visibility is limited. It would take us hours to make it safely to the hospital, if my car could even get out of the driveway.’ 

‘All those cars and you don’t own a single truck?’ Jane complains, teasing to hide her fear. Another contraction seizes her. When it passes Jane pants, ‘I don’t think we have hours Maur.’ 

‘No,’ Maura agrees, pushing yet more sweaty strands from Jane’s forehead. Maura let’s Jane reach her own conclusions. 

‘You’re going to deliver them?’ Jane asks but Maura can hear the statement in it, ‘can you do that?’ 

Maura swallows her fear and doubt and nods. This was Jane. Maura would do anything for Jane. ‘It has been a while but yes, I have done an obstetrics rotation.’ 

Jane’s responding chuckle turns into a cry of pain as another contraction rolls in. When it passes Jane says, ‘okay. I trust you.’ She smiles a dimpled grin, her eyes soft and vulnerable. 

Maura smiles back, pressing their lips together in the only proper response to such an admission from Jane Rizzoli. They break when another contraction interrupts them. 

‘Ahhhhhhh,’ Jane cries, ‘this sucks. This sucks way worse than shooting myself.’ Maura ducks her head to hide her laughter, she highly doubted that was true but pain had a funny way of rewriting itself. ‘Uh,’ Jane says, stiffening on the bed for a different reason, ‘Maur?’ 

Maura sits up to confirm, she smiles at Jane, ‘that’s just your water breaking.’ 

‘That’s gross,’ Jane says in a whine, ‘I’m not, we’re not… doing this… here. On our bed. Nope.’ Jane moves to get up but Maura stops her. 

‘I have a mattress protector Jane,’ Maura says bunching the comforter up, trapping the liquid in on itself. 

‘We have sex in this bed Maura. I don’t - ahhhhh,’ Jane interrupts herself doubling over. When it passes, Jane catches her breath and says, ‘bath tub. Water births. Those are a thing right?’ 

‘Water births are a thing but my tub is a bit small for that,’ Maura says softly, ‘how about the shower. We’ll turn on the water and you can hold the head wherever you need to?’ 

‘Yes,’ Jane says grabbing at Maura, ‘shower. Help.’ Then Jane is doubling over. 

Maura braces, slipping one arm around Jane’s back and the other underneath Jane’s legs and then lifts. She carries Jane to the bathroom, holding her through the contraction and then setting her gently in the shower. Maura positions a towel under Jane, she detaches the shower head and turns on warm water. She hands it to Jane and then promises to be right back. Maura changes quickly into clothes that won’t get in her way when wet, then grabs her medical bag, infant first air kit, and a lined bucket. She returns as the next contraction hits Jane. Maura pulls on her gloves and her stethoscope and take a deep steadying breath. She could do this. For Jane, she could do this.

They aren’t in the shower too long before Jane starts pushing, shower head all but forgotten. Maura spreads Jane’s legs, settling herself in the juncture, and acts on some combination of once familiar knowledge and instinct. The baby’s head of dark black hair is crowning just as the paramedics call from the hallway. 

‘In here,’ Maura calls. Her hands help guide the baby as another contraction forces Jane to bear down. When it’s over Maura smiles at Jane, ‘you’re doing great love. Just try to hold them there.’ Then louder Maura calls, ‘we are in here.’ 

‘What do ya got Doc?’ A woman asks. Maura recognises her from the accident. Maura feels a sense of relief. She didn’t have to explain why she wasn’t moving. Maura answers without thought.

Jane bears down again and Maura watches as a tiny smushed face emerges. Maura shifts positioning the shoulders as Jane’s contraction eases. ‘That’s perfect Jane,’ Maura says. 

Jane pants, ‘next… time… drugs.’ The paramedics next to Maura chuckle, one of them taking Jane’s blood pressure, the other preparing an infant kit. 

‘You can have all the drugs next time baby,’ Maura promises, ‘but this time I just need another big push. Okay Jane? One more big push?’ Jane groans which morphs into a scream as she bears down. Maura guides the first shoulder out. ‘Push Jane, keep pushing. As hard as you can,’ Maura says verbally challenging Jane to keep going. The second shoulder pops free. And Jane collapses against the shower wall, the shower head long since forgotten. ‘That was great baby,’ Maura says, ‘that was perfect. You did great.’ 

‘This fucking hurts,’ Jane spits back at Maura. 

‘I know,’ Maura says looking up to meet Jane’s eyes, ‘I know but we’re so close. One more. One more for me, okay baby?’ Jane nods and Maura looks at the paramedic to her left who nods also. This one would be a team effort but with luck, it would also be the last one. Jane lets out a feral scream and pushes, the paramedic helping hold her up and provide resistance. A deluge of amniotic fluid and other waste is expelled with the infant as Jane screams obscenities above. The baby slips right into Maura’s waiting hands and Jane collapses against the paramedic holding her, panting in exhaustion. 

‘Maur?’ Jane asks. 

‘She’s out,’ Maura says, smiling down at the pink little girl in her arms. 

‘She?’ Jane asks, getting teary eyed, ‘we have a daughter?’ 

‘We have a daughter,’ Maura confirms as she clears the girl’s nose and loud clear cries erupt in the bathroom. Maura’s never been more happy to hear a baby cry. Maura rubs the girl’s foot and watches it pull away, then Maura puts her stethoscope to the baby’s chest and counts beats. To the paramedic beside her, Maura says, ‘Time of birth 11:23 pm. One minute APGAR nine out of ten.’ Maura looks down at the little girl in awe a moment more. Maura takes the scissors and snips the umbilical cord once it has gone white, letting the paramedic tie it off. Then Maura passes the girl to Jane, putting the baby directly on Jane’s naked chest. 

‘Hi,’ Jane whispers as she accepts the baby, ‘hi sweet girl.’ Then Jane sobs softly and Maura blinks away her own tears. ‘We have a daughter Maur,’ Jane says in awe looking at Maura. ‘I love you so much,’ Jane whispers to the little girl, then Jane looks up and brown eyes meet green, ‘I love you both.’ 

‘I love you too,’ Maura whispers, ‘so much. You did so well Jane. I’m so proud of you.’ Maura leans forward and kisses Jane. ‘I love you both,’ Maura whispers into their daughter’s ear. Maura settles back into her position. She clears her nose with a sniff and shakes her head to clear her head. Maura clears the towel beneath Jane dropping it into the bucket. Maura is almost done delivering the placenta when she hears Korsak thundering up the stairs calling their names in a panicked tone. 

‘Could you stop him?’ Maura asks the paramedic beside Jane. ’Tell him that everyone is safe and healthy and he has a new granddaughter.’ The woman nods and disappears. A minute later they hear a whoop that makes Maura chuckle. 

‘Vitals on both Mom and baby are strong and clear,’ the paramedic beside Maura says. ‘Good job Doctor or should I say Mom?’ 

Maura chuckles, tears streaming down her face. ‘Her five and ten minute APGAR’s?’ 

‘Ten and ten,’ the paramedic replies. ‘Let’s get everyone dry and bundled up and then we’ll transport you all in the rig.’ 

Jane, who was in her own world, cooing softly at their daughter, looks up at Maura with awe, ‘she’s so beautiful.’ 

Maura shifts to be next to Jane, Jane shifts to lean against Maura automatically. Maura looks down at their beautiful, sleeping daughter. ‘Yes she is,’ Maura whispers, ‘just as beautiful as her Mama.’ Maura kisses Jane’s temple, ‘you’re incredible, you know that don’t you? I’m so proud of you.’ 

Jane chuckles wryly, ‘I’m incredible? You dead lifted me and carried me to the shower.’ 

‘Adrenaline,’ Maura says pressing another kiss to Jane’s temple as her fingers stroked through Jane’s hair on the other side, ‘pure adrenaline.’ 

‘You delivered our daughter,’ Jane whispers turning to look at Jane, ‘you took care of us just like you promised.’ 

‘Always,’ Maura says, green eyes meeting brown. They kiss again, soft and sweet, their family finally complete. 

Maura dresses their daughter first, bundling her into the warmest, softest, fluffiest outfit she can find before passing her over to Korsak to hold while she and Jane get dressed. He sobs big quiet tears as he stares down at his granddaughter all soft and full of love. Maura helps Jane dry off before dressing her in the baggiest most comfortable clothes Jane owns. Then Maura gets dressed herself. The paramedics take their hospital bags as they go. They come back to help Jane out and Maura takes their daughter from Korsak with the promise he would bring their car to the hospital in the morning and let everyone else know. Maura can’t stop looking at that perfect precious face as they drive over and Maura almost feels bad about it but every time Maura manages to look up from her seat on the gurney next to Jane, Jane is staring too. They were smitten. Head over heels. Completely and totally in love with their baby girl. 

Checking in and getting settled are a blurred haze of oxytocin induced adoration. Jane manages a small feeding before exhaustion overtakes mother and child. Maura takes their daughter, changing her diaper and swaddling before rocking her softly. Exhaustion tickles at the back of Maura’s brain and Maura knows she’s not far off from joining Jane and their daughter in dreamland but for the moment this seemed pretty dream-like to Maura. She had everything she had ever wanted right here in this hospital room.

They all sleep in fits, waking often to nurse and be nursed. Maura changes diapers and offers kisses in abundance, rocking their daughter back to sleep every time. Morning comes too quickly, exhaustion written all over Jane and Maura’s face. Maura doesn’t care. It’s worth it. _She_ is worth it. 

‘We have to choose a name,’ Maura whispers quietly, sitting in bed next to Jane. 

‘Just a first name,’ Jane whispers back. ‘We already know her middle name.’ 

‘She could be Jane Junior,’ Maura whispers nuzzling her forehead on Jane’s shoulder softly, so as not to wake the baby. 

‘No,’ Jane whispers, ‘she doesn’t look like a junior.’ 

‘What does she look like?’ Maura asks softly, fingers stroking the softest dark baby hair. 

‘She looks like,’ Jane says hesitating, ‘an Emmy.’ 

‘Emmy?’ Maura asks ‘Emmy Casey Rizzoli?’ 

‘Mmm,’ Jane says, ‘Emmy would be her nickname. I was thinking of Emiliana. It means excellent.’ 

‘Emiliana,’ Maura says softly, ‘Emmy. Our excellent little Emmy. I like it.’ 

‘Yeah?’ Jane asks turning to look at Maura, ‘because if you don’t we can choose something else. You’ll have to say her name a million times a day too.’ 

‘I like it Jane,’ Maura says earnestly, she claims a kiss from Jane’s lips. Then Maura presses a kiss to the baby’s forehead and whispers, ‘Emiliana Casey Rizzoli, it is wonderful to finally meet you.’ 

‘Actually,’ Jane says shifting Emmy to the other arm so that the girl was facing Maura, ‘Maura, sweetie, I’d like for you to meet your daughter Emiliana Casey Rizzoli-Isles.’

Maura gasps, her mouth dropping. Tears well up in her eyes, ‘Jane?’ 

‘I have all of the paperwork in my bag,’ Jane says shyly, looking at Maura full of soft tenderness. ‘I want you to be officially listed on her birth certificate so she wouldn’t be a Rizzoli. She’d be a Rizzoli-Isles. If you’re okay with that.’ 

‘You want her to have my name?’ Maura whispers.

‘Yeah,’ Jane says, her cheeks tinged pink, ‘I really, really do.’ They sit quietly for a moment, emotions thrumming between them and then Jane clears her throat, ‘I also am hoping, one day soon, you’d share your name with me too.’ 

‘Yes,’ Maura whispers, kissing Jane firmly. ‘Absolutely, yes. You can have my name whenever you want it.’ 

Jane beams at Maura, ‘and you wouldn’t mind taking mine so we all match?’ Maura nods quickly. ‘I still want to do this properly,’ Jane says softly gesturing between them. ‘I still want to ask you to marry me one day. With flowers and candles and your favourite wine and a ring, the whole thing, everything you deserve. But I did a lot of research and having you on the birth certificate is the most surefire way to give you parental rights and it makes the most sense for Emmy.’ 

‘Whenever you ask,’ Maura says softly, ‘however you ask it, just know you two are all that matters. You and Emmy.’ 

Jane chuckles and looks at their daughter, sleeping soundly in her arms, ‘you’ve already got your mommy and me wrapped around those teeny tiny little fingers, don’t you Emmy?’ 

‘Absolutely,’ Maura says beaming at her little family, ‘and I wouldn’t have it any other way.’ 

‘Me either,’ Jane says. Then, because they can, they share a kiss over their blissfully sleeping daughter’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of 2015 in MA, same sex couples are allowed to be listed on the baby's birth certificate. I don't know how realistic it would be for Jane and Maura but it's my fic and I get to do what I want. :)


	29. February ~ 42 Weeks Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all have to Jenna to thank for this scene. I did not intend on showing Emmy meeting her grandparents but Jenna demanded it so you all get a bonus chapter!

By lunchtime, their family begins arriving at the hospital to meet the newest Rizzoli-Isles. Korsak shows first, exchanging Maura’s car keys in exchange for holding a happily swaddled and sleeping Emmy. He cradles her whole body in his big hands, cooing softly at the sleeping girl all sweet affection.

‘Hello sweet girl,’ Korsak says in the same tone of voice he used to talk to the strays he found. ‘Hello beautiful baby. Aren’t you just the sweetest thing?’

‘Her name is Emmy,’ Jane says proudly.

‘Emiliana Casey Rizzoli-Isles,’ Maura says, filling in the rest of the little girl's name. Maura rests her head lightly on Jane’s shoulder, both of them sitting on the bed. Jane leans her head on Maura’s.

Vince looks up beaming, ‘she looks like a Rizzoli-Isles alright.’ The man runs gentle calloused fingers through dark curly hair on the baby’s head.

‘You knew?’ Maura asks, too tired to be surprised.

‘Sure,’ Korsak said, ‘this one came to me a little after Casey passed, had a bunch of questions about parenting rights. I helped her do the research.’ The man rocked the little girl gently, making still more cooing sounds, lost in his own world watching his granddaughter.

‘After Casey died?’ Maura asks, pulling away to look at Jane. ‘So early? We weren’t even together.’

Jane smiles, her eyes tired but her dimples still ever present, ‘that didn’t matter Maur. It’s always been you and me for that little girl.’ Jane takes Maura’s hand in her own, ‘I know my job’s dangerous and I’ve always known if anything ever happened to me, you were the person I wanted raising her. I knew you were the person I wanted to raise her with. She’s always been yours Maura. This is just the paperwork.’ Maura kisses Jane with a tear laden lips before hiding her face in Jane’s neck to compose herself.

‘Well,’ Korsak says softly, ‘look at that. Someone’s awake.’ Emmy has her eyes open wide watching her grandpa above her. ‘You know Janie,’ Vince says quietly, watching his granddaughter in return, ‘I think you might be right.’

‘I usually am,’ Jane says, covering a yawn behind her hand, ‘what am I right about this time?’ Maura chuckles into Jane’s side.

‘I think she’s got the Doc’s eyes,’ Korsak says softly.

‘What?’ Maura says looking up, ‘that’s not possible.’

‘Well call me a crazy old man but I see green there,’ Korsak says, turning to show the girl to Jane and Maura.

Jane squeezes Maura’s hand, ‘I told you she was always meant to be yours.’

Maura stares at the little girl. There were undeniable flecks of green in Emmy’s eyes. Maura’s brain tries to do the math, to figure out how Jane and Casey’s genetics could result in a hazel eyed girl. She’s interrupted by Angela’s arrival.

‘Where is she?’ Angela calls before she’s even entered the room, ‘where are my girls?’

Then she swings into the room and Angela is beaming through tears, ‘my babies!’ Angela goes first to Jane, pressing a kiss to her eldest daughter’s forehead, ‘I’m so proud of you!’ Then, to Maura’s surprise Angela turns to Maura and places a kiss on her head too. ‘Thank you for keeping my baby and grand baby healthy and safe. I don’t know what I would do without you, daughter of my heart,’ Angela turns back to Jane, ‘I told you having a doctor in the family was a good idea.’ Angela places another kiss on Maura’s forehead, the doctor too flustered to stop her. ‘Now where’s my grand baby? What’d you name her?’ Angela says rounding on Vince and the newborn. Vince turns quickly, shielding the newborn from Angela’s grabbing hands.

‘Her name is Emiliana Casey Rizzoli-Isles,’ Jane says, ‘Emmy for short.’

Angela stops short, looking back at Jane and then Maura. There are tears in her eyes, ‘you named her after Casey and Maura?’

‘Yes,’ Jane says blushing, ‘Casey was Maura’s idea.’ Jane squeezes Maura’s hand looking at her sideways to meet her eyes, ‘and one day we’re all going to match. Emmy’s just getting a head start.’

Angela makes a gasping sound, her hands going up to hide her mouth, ‘match. As in? You’re going to?’

‘One day,’ Maura says with a smile for Jane, ‘one day soon I hope.’

‘My babies are getting married!’ Angela exclaims, coming back around for a second round of hugs and kisses for smiles. She doesn’t notice Vince moving away with Emmy. At least, not right away.

‘Alright,’ Angela says, pulling herself together, ‘I want to hold my grand baby. Give her here Vince.’

‘She’s so happy with her grandpa,’ Vince says beaming at the girl and still speaking in his cooing falsetto, ‘just look at her. I can tell.’

‘Vince,’ Angela says, frowning, putting her hands on her hips.

‘Don’t mind her,’ Vince says conspiratorially to Emmy, ‘I won’t let her take you away from Grandpa.’

‘Vincent Korsak you give me my grand baby,’ Angela says, trying to reach around the man to the little girl. Korsak keeps his body stubbornly between Angela and Emmy.

Jane snickers into Maura’s shoulder as the two bicker. Maura frowns, afraid the adults' antics might hurt Emmy. ‘Please be careful with her,’ Maura says loudly.

Vince looks up, guilt on his face. He sighs, ‘fine. I guess grandpa will share you. For now.’ Reluctantly the man hands Emmy to her Nonna.

Angela holds Emmy with starry eyes until the girl begins to demand to be fed. Then Angela and Vince take their leave. Frankie and Tommy show up with the biggest teddy bear Maura has ever seen. They coo at their niece, offer Maura hugs, and punch Jane in the shoulder. Hope and Cailin stop by shortly thereafter. They don’t stay long but Maura sees the hurt on Hope’s face and she understands why. There was too much trauma there for Hope and Maura. One day, maybe, they’d get past it but for now Maura appreciated that they even tried. Frost and Nina stop by shortly thereafter and while Jane and Maura are happy to see them, the day is beginning to wear on them and they are both happy to see the pair go. Maura, in particular, is happy to have Emmy back in _her_ arms. Sharing her daughter had been difficult.

They’re surprised just before dinner by a knock on the door. Maura frowns, ‘were you expecting anyone else?’

‘Nope,’ Jane says with a yawn.

‘Hmm,’ Maura says, she passes their daughter to Jane and goes to answer the door. Maura opens it to find Constance standing there. ‘Mother?’

‘Is now a bad time?’ Constance asks nervously.

‘Not at all,’ Jane says from behind Maura, ‘come on in Constance.’

‘Maura?’ Constance asks, her face asking Maura’s permission.

‘Of course,’ Maura says, stepping immediately to the side, ‘I thought you were in Oxford.’

‘Angela called,’ Constance says, stepping in, ‘she told me that you went into labor and had to deliver the baby at home. I…’ Constance hesitates, searching for the right words. ‘I got on the first flight. I… I was worried. I needed to make sure you were okay.’ Constance touches Maura’s cheek lightly, her voice dropping to a whisper, ‘delivering your own daughter?’

‘Maura was incredible,’ Jane says, ‘huh Emmy? Mommy’s the bravest, smartest, most incredible person we know.’ Maura’s face grows hot from Jane’s compliment but she doesn’t look away from her mother’s eyes or her affection.

‘She is,’ Constance whispers in affirmation. ‘Are you alright? All of you?’

‘Y-y-yes,’ Maura says, ‘we’re all wonderful Maman.’ Then Maura pulls in a breath and smiles at her Mother, ‘can I introduce you to your granddaughter?’

Constance leans forward and presses a kiss to Maura’s forehead before pulling back and smiling, ‘I think I would like that very much.’

Maura takes Emmy from Jane and places her tenderly in her Mother’s arms, ‘Maman this is Emiliana Casey Rizzoli-Isles.’

When Maura says Isles, Constance looks up with a gasp. Her eyes go from Jane to Maura, ‘Isles?’

‘I-i-if that is alright?’ Maura says her voice is small and vulnerable.

‘Alright?’ Constance whispers looking at her granddaughter in awe, ‘I’m honoured. Thrilled. I didn’t… I never….’ Constance brings the little girl into a soft hug while looking at her daughter, ‘I assumed you would just become a Rizzoli.’

‘I have never been ashamed to be an Isles Maman,’ Maura says with slightly more confidence, ‘I never wanted to be anyone else’s.’

‘You didn’t?’ Constance asks and Maura knows there’s more to that question than just a question of names.

‘No Maman,’ Maura says, then in a moment of confidence she says, ‘all I ever wanted was you.’

Constance sniffles, rubbing her cheek through Emmy’s soft hair, ‘you have me.’ Then Constance pulls back to look at Emmy, ‘you both have me.’ Then Constance looks up at Jane, ‘all three of you.’

‘Thank you Constance,’ Jane says with a smile for the woman, ‘and I’m really glad you came.’

‘I should tell you Maman,’ Maura says returning to Jane’s side, ‘while I am proud to be an Isles, I am also looking forward to being a Rizzoli-Isles.’

Constance smiles at the women, ‘I think that sounds perfect.’

They visit a while longer before Constance stands to leave, citing jet lag. ‘I would like to stay nearby for a little bit,’ Constance says nervously, fidgeting with her handbag at the door, ‘my circuit at Oxford was practically over and my colleagues have graciously agreed to cover for me.’

‘That sounds lovely Maman,’ Maura says with a smile, ‘how long do you think you’ll be able to stay?’

‘Well,’ Constance says, ‘I’ve been asked to be a guest lecturer here in Boston for the next year. If that was… I mean… if you would… if you both were okay with that.’

‘We would love that,’ Jane says, ‘Emmy would get to spend some time with her Mémère.’

‘Maura?’ Constance asks, ‘could we… could I… I mean to say…’

‘I would love to have you closer to home Maman,’ Maura says cutting her mother off, ‘come to Boston? Please?’

‘Alright,’ Constance says, ‘I suppose that settles it. Goodnight Maura, Jane. Then Constance looks at her granddaughter and says, ‘you be good for your mother’s and let them sleep.’ Then Constance is leaving.

‘That was unexpected,’ Jane says as Maura returns to sit with Jane.

‘It was,’ Maura admits.

‘But it was good right?’ Jane asks, uncertain how to read Maura.

‘Very,’ Maura says, kissing her daughter’s forehead.

‘Good,’ Jane says, leaning back and curling into Maura’s side. Maura leans back against the bed, the pair of them staring at their daughter.

‘Jane?’ Maura asks quietly, not sure if she had fallen asleep or not.

‘Yeah Maur?’ Jane asks, fatigue in her voice.

‘Do you think we could stay this way forever?’ Maura whispers.

‘Definitely,’ Jane whispers back, ‘or at least until she wants to eat again in five minutes.’

Maura chuckles, ‘I’m just… so happy.’

‘Me too,’ Jane says pressing a kiss to Maura’s arm, ‘so, so happy.’

‘Do you think we can be this happy forever?’ Maura asks.

Jane looks up at Maura, brown eyes wide and sincere, ‘yeah sweetie, I do. You’re my happily ever after. I love you.’

‘You’re my happily ever after too Jane,’ Maura whispers. Maura presses a soft kiss to Jane’s lips, ‘I love you so much.’

Jane beams up at Maura and Maura’s heart pitter patters. Maura smiles back. Some things would never change.


	30. February ~ 3 Days Old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Que faites-vous? - French, what are you doing? 
> 
> All other languages are the first line of 'you are my sunshine'

Jane, Maura and Emmy spend two days at the hospital. Jane is antsy by the end of the first day, itching to go home, only the risk of drawing Maura’s ire keeps her from whining too much. Well, Maura’s ire and Emmy’s needs. Jane didn’t realise how often newborns needed to eat or how exhausting it is to be the milk producing parental feeding them. But then they get the all clear and Jane is a little freaked out about it. 

‘Maura,’ Jane says, staring at the honey blonde as she carefully straps Emmy into her carseat, ‘they’re just going to let us walk out of here with her.’ 

‘Mmmhmmm,’ Maura says, working the infant's arms carefully through one arm hole, ‘that is the idea of a discharge Jane.’ 

‘They’re just going to let us walk out with her. We have no idea what we’re doing. We could be crazy or mean. We could be serial killers,’ Jane rants, wishing her lady parts weren’t sensitive to friction at the moment so she could pace. 

‘But we aren’t,’ Maura reminds Jane calmly, focusing on snapping the buckles together. 

‘Well _I_ know that,’ Jane retorts, ‘and _you_ know that. But _they_ don’t know that. We could be absolutely unfit to be parents. It’s not like we took a test or passed a certification.’ 

‘There are no requirements for becoming birth parents Jane,’ Maura says just as placidly as before. She is absolutely unmoved by Jane’s panic and, frankly, Jane finds that a little annoying. 

‘But there should be,’ Jane says. She grabs Maura by the shoulder and gives a small tug, careful not to upset Emmy, ‘look at me Maura. Look at me.’ 

Maura turns and looks at Jane. She smiles and brushes an errant strand of hair behind Jane’s ear, making Jane’s heart flutter. ‘Yes, Jane?’ Maura asks with all the patience in the world. Jane’s not sure if she’s annoyed or endeared. 

‘All I did to become that little girl’s mother is have sex with a broken condom,’ Jane says with a soft look at the infant in the carrier, ‘and frankly that’s not a great start to the whole newly responsible for an entire life thing.’ 

Maura frowns, ‘Jane you carried her for nine months. You grew her with the nutrition of your body. You protected her with your own blood, bones and organs. You made her heart beat, made her brain grow. You chose her the same day you chose to go through with the pregnancy so why are you so terrified to bring her home?’ 

‘I’m not afraid,’ Jane says defensively, ‘I’m saying they don’t know what kind of parents we are and they’re just sending this helpless tiny girl home with us assuming we’re going to take care of her.’ 

‘Well,’ Maura says patiently, ‘we are.’ 

‘Yeah,’ Jane says whimpering as she looks at the peacefully sleeping face of her daughter, ‘but not all kids are so lucky. Are they?’ Jane blinks away tears. 

’No,’ Maura says cupping Jane’s face softly in her palm, ‘no, not all children are so lucky.’ 

‘It just…’ Jane sniffs, leaning into Maura’s warm palm, ‘it seems like a broken system. There should be a parental certification course or something.’ 

Maura chuckles and presses a kiss to Jane’s head, ‘I could write you a private exam if it would make you feel better.’ The look on Jane’s face makes Maura laugh harder. ‘Or not,’ Maura says. When Maura has regained her composure she presses a kiss to Jane’s forehead, standing on her tippy toes to do so, ‘tomorrow we can worry about saving the children of the world. Today, let’s just take our daughter home.’ Jane nods, it seemed sensible at the time. 

It did not seem as sensible at 4:15 in the morning after Emmy had screamed for the last hour and a half non-stop. There needed to be a whole village to deal with this nonsense. She and Maura are just two people and dealing with an infant’s constant neediness was exhausting. 

‘I don’t know what to do,’ Jane whines, bouncing the infant in a way she vaguely recalled TJ enjoying. Maura looks at Jane through bloodshot eyes, her face unreadable. Or perhaps Jane is just too tired to be able to read it. ‘She won’t eat. She won’t sleep. She won’t sleep. What do I do Maura? Do you think she’s okay? Could she be getting sick?’ 

‘Infants are often nocturnal Jane. Her circadian rhythm is simply adjusting,’ Maura says. She touches the infant's head lightly. ‘She sounds healthy and full. Why don’t you give her to me so you can get some sleep?’ 

Jane whimpers, ‘are you sure? It’s not like you slept either.’ 

‘I didn’t give birth three days ago,’ Maura says, taking the small child from Jane’s hands. She throws a spit up towel over her shoulder. Then she presses a kiss to Jane’s cheek. ‘Goodnight my love. Rest well.’ 

Then the screaming is fading. Jane looks around at their bedroom which is in absolute disarray. There are diapers and wipes, her nursing pillow, nursing pads, blankets for swaddling, some clean, some less clean spread out over their bed. If Jane wasn’t exhausted she would be amused to see any room in Maura’s house in such disarray. Instead Jane shoves a set of blankets aside and crawls into bed, holding Maura’s pillow to her body. Jane is somewhere between the land of wakefulness and sleep when she hears the baby monitor crackle to life. 

Maura is singing. At first Jane thinks it might be a lullaby but then the words filter through Jane’s sleep haze. Maura was singing a narrated song about what she was doing as she changed Emmy’s diaper. It took Jane a moment more before she realises Emmy is absolutely silent, enthralled by Maura’s voice. Jane can’t really blame the girl.

‘You like music,’ Maura sings in a vaguely familiar tune, ‘just like your Mama. Will you be a prodigal piano player too Emmy-Roo?’ There’s a moment of silence pierced by the small whine of the newborn. ‘Shh, shh,’ Maura shushes before she whisper sings, ‘let’s not wake your Mama.’ Jane hears the soft whoosh of the rocking chair and Jane has a picture of Maura in their nursery, her eyes a vibrant green to match the walls as she rocks with their daughter on her chest singing silly made up songs. 

Then Jane hears Maura start singing you are my sunshine. Maura sings in English, then French, then Spanish and Jane is fairly certain she falls asleep as Maura is singing in Serbian.

The fullness of her breasts wake Jane some time later. The first tendrils of the sun are playing across their room. Jane uses the restroom, splashes water on her face and goes in search of Maura and their daughter. Maura is rocking and humming softly, her eyes closed, Emmy’s head cradled to her chest. Jane freezes, her heart exploding at the sight. Jane didn’t know it was possible to even be this in love. Jane drinks in the sight of Maura, singing their daughter to sleep. She does her best to memorise the way the sun draws out the golden tones in her hair, the way her mouth is turned up as she hummed in a perfectly content look. Jane knows Maura must be exhausted but Jane had never seen her looking happier in her life. Jane thinks her chest might explode from loving someone so much. Well, two someones. 

Maura peeks an eye open to look at Jane before whispering, ‘is it time?’ 

‘According to the girls,’ Jane says referencing her breasts. 

‘In here or our room?’ Maura asks. 

‘Ours,’ Jane says, ‘maybe she’ll let us sleep a little longer.’ 

Maura nods, shifting with the grace of a former ballerina to stand. Jane doesn’t even think Emmy is jostled in the slightest, her head still gently cradled just over Maura’s heart, Maura’s hand cushioning the back of her head while her other arm supported the girl’s body. When Maura comes to the door, Jane leans in giving the shorter woman a tender kiss. She lets it linger for a moment, trying to convey all the love and affection she possibly could with a kiss. ‘I love you,’ Jane says softly as she pulls away. 

Maura’s eyes are soft, a golden green in the morning light, and full of adoration. ‘I love you too Jane,’ she says with naked honesty. 

Jane tucks a strand of hair behind Maura’s ear and then she murmurs, ‘you are _my_ sunshine.’ Maura blushes a beautiful pink, making Jane grin. Then Jane repeats herself, ‘tu es mon soleil.’ Maura’s eyes go wide, her blush deepening and Jane leans in closer. ‘Eres mi brillo de sol,’ Jane whispers. Maura licks her lips, her eyes flickering from Jane’s eyes to Jane’s lips. 

‘Jane?’ Maura whimpers quietly. 

‘Ti si moje sunce,’ Jane says in an attempt at the Serbian she had heard last night. Jane tilts Maura’s chin up to look at her, their eyes meeting. ‘Sei la mia luce solare,’ Jane adds in Italian. 

‘Que faites-vous?’ Maura asks, her voice quivering. Jane’s not sure if she’s asking Jane a question or asking herself rhetorically but Jane decides to answer for her. 

’I thought it was obvious,’ Jane says brushing their lips together softly, her words whispered against Maura’s lips, ‘I was telling you I love you in every language.’ Their lips move again, soft and sweet, conveying warmth and intimacy. Jane’s head spins a bit, her smile growing the longer they’re together. Better, Jane can feel Maura’s smile as they kiss. Jane decides that’s her favourite feeling in the world. Jane knows they stay there too long, linger in that kiss too long, but she can’t help it. She’s exhausted and her breasts hurt and their house is a disaster and Jane can’t help but to kiss Maura because she is wildly, happily in love. 

Emmy rousing finally separates the pair of them, for a time, anyways. Emmy feeds and settles into her bassinet, falling asleep almost immediately. Jane pulls Maura close then, kissing her soundly before passing out happily in the smaller woman’s arms. Definitely. Wildly, happily, exhaustingly in love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was I Jane freaking out about taking our kid home from the hospital? Yes. Yes I was. 
> 
> Do I have a thing for people speaking romantically to each other in other languages? Also yes. Yes I do. 
> 
> Polite heads up that there are now two chapters left. TWO. 2. Whether there will be a sequel is still TBD. 
> 
> Love you all! Thank you for reading and commenting! <3


	31. March ~ 3 weeks old

Maura hums as she washes dishes, keeping an ear out for the laundry. Maura had thought she was prepared for the mess that infants created around them after their brief care of TJ but she was absolutely not. It was astounding the amount of clothes Emmy forced the three of them to go through in the course of a few days. Jane had dubbed the girl the spit up queen and Maura had to agree the girl had a talent for landing spit up everywhere but on its designated towels. It was a common enough occurrence that both Maura and Jane regularly sported shirts baring white stains smelling vaguely of vomit. Maura’s not sure her nose will ever smell anything else again. Not that Maura could complain. She would give up every shirt she owned for Emmy, no questions asked, no holds barred. Which was saying something because Maura really, really loved her clothes. 

Strong warm arms loop around Maura’s waist, soft lips press a kiss to Maura’s neck. Jane’s gravelly voice sounds in Maura’s ear, ‘good afternoon love.’ 

Maura presses back, leaning against Jane, ’good afternoon sweetie.’ Maura leans her head further to the right, giving Jane more space and access to her neck. Jane chuckles throatily and presses another kiss to Maura’s pulse. ‘Sleep well?’ Maura barely resisted the urge to moan. 

‘I did,’ Jane affirms, ‘thank you for doing the dishes.’ 

‘Of course,’ Maura replies steadily, content to be held by Jane, ‘I told you I’d be here to do the laundry and wash the bottles.’ 

Jane chuckles, ‘I never doubted you.’ 

Maura rinses her hands, drying them and turning to loop her arms around Jane’s neck. Jane grins before kissing her. Maura smiles into the kiss. She can’t help it. Every kiss with Jane made her feel so happy. Jane’s hands slide over Maura’s back, causing pleasurable tingles. Maura pulls away to look up into big beautiful brown eyes, ‘go on a date with me tonight?’ Maura asks. 

‘Really?’ Jane asks in amazement, ‘can we do that? Is she old enough?’ 

For a moment Maura hesitates, wondering the same thing. Then she remembers that its been nearly a month since Jane had left the house without an infant and that decides it for her. She nods, ‘definitely. You know Angela would love to have Emmy to herself for the night.’ 

Jane sighs, ‘Ma’s working tonight. What about Constance?’ 

Maura shakes her head, ‘she’s presenting. Tommy or Frankie?’ 

‘Working,’ Jane replies. Jane hesitates for a moment before asking tentatively, ‘what about Hope?’ 

Maura considers it carefully, ‘I am not sure.’ 

Jane smiles warmly, ‘it’s okay to ask Maura. If you want to but if you don’t, we can always go on a date another night. I know Ma would be happy to watch Emmy whenever we want.’ 

Maura takes in the open trust on Jane’s face, she traces untamed curls framing high cheekbones and delicate features. ‘I would really like to take you out tonight,’ Maura says at last, deciding for herself, ‘so I’ll ask but if she isn’t available then I’m going to order you your favourite pizza and light you a million candles.’ 

Jane laughs, ‘deal.’ They kiss again, mouths moving unhurriedly against one another until the small squawks of their daughter reach their ears. Jane goes to get their daughter while Maura calls Hope. 

‘Doctor Martin,’ Hope answers after the second ring. 

‘Hello Hope,’ Maura begins, feeling nervous. 

‘Maura dear,’ Hope says, sounding genuinely pleased to hear from Maura, ‘how are you doing? How are Jane and Emmy?’ 

‘We are doing well over here. Exhausted but happy,’ Maura replies. 

Hope laughs, ‘infants have a way of doing that to a person. Thank you for sending me her photos, she looks so strong and healthy.’ 

‘She is,’ Maura says smiling proudly, ‘she and Jane are both doing wonderfully on feeding and Emmy is turning all that milk into some excellent growth.’ 

‘That’s good,’ Hope exclaims, ‘well you’ll have to let me know if there’s anything you need. I know how exhausting newborns can be and if there is anything I can do to help, I really would love the opportunity to care for the three of you.’ 

‘Actually,’ Maura says hesitatingly, ‘I was wondering if you were available tonight. I’d like to take Jane out of the house for an hour or two.’ Silence greets Maura and Maura wonders if she’s asked too much. ‘If you’re not available or you would rather not, of course I understand,’ Maura adds to give Hope an out, ’it is terribly short notice.’ 

‘I’m available,’ Hope says softly, ‘I suppose I’m just surprised you want me to watch her. I wasn’t sure… that is… I wasn’t certain what my role would be in her life.’ 

Maura blinks, ‘what do you mean? You’re her grandmother. Of course, we want you to be involved in her life.’ 

‘That’s,’ Hope begins but stops again. When she speaks again, emotions are thick on her voice, ‘I would love to be. So I will see you tonight?’ 

‘Yes,’ Maura replies, a plan formulating in her mind, ‘perhaps if you joined us for dinner and then Jane and I could sneak away for dessert?’ 

‘That sounds lovely Maura,’ Hope replies. 

‘So we will see you around 6 then?’ Maura asks. 

‘I’ll see you then,’ Hope confirms. 

‘So she’ll watch Emmy?’ Jane asks, Emmy bundled in a pale green on her shoulder. 

‘She will,’ Maura says, frowning as she looks at Jane. 

‘That’s a good thing, right?’ Jane asks, bouncing softly, ‘we want her to want to be involved? We trust her to watch our daughter.’ 

‘We do,’ Maura replies, ‘she wasn’t certain we wanted her to be involved.’ 

‘Oh,’ Jane says, ‘I guess we never really expressly laid things out for her. I mean… we didn’t really know what we wanted either though.’ 

‘We do want her to be Emmy’s grandmother?’ Maura asks looking at Jane, feeling vulnerable and confused. 

‘That’s a question you gotta answer for yourself, Maur,’ Jane says, walking towards Maura to place a kiss on her temple. ‘I think she’d be a good one, given a chance. I think it might even help both of you heal a bit but you’re the one who gets to define her role in our world.’ 

‘What if I want her to be involved and she says no? What if I ask and she refuses?’ Maura asks, voice quivering. 

Jane presses another kiss to Maura’s temple, ‘then Emmy and I will be here to eat all the sad ice cream with you but I really don’t think that’s going to happen.’ 

‘You don’t?’ Maura asks. 

‘I think,’ Jane says carefully, ‘Hope has spent her whole life wanting to take care of the daughter she lost. And now she has the chance to do that by helping you be a mother. I think she’ll jump at that opportunity and then she’ll fall in love with Emmy and we’ll be stuck with three very obsessive grandmothers.’ 

Maura chuckles, ‘they aren’t that bad Jane.’ 

‘Yours aren’t,’ Jane retorts, ‘mine’s just winding up. She’s already asking for seconds. My lady parts haven’t even finished healing.’ Maura snorts. Jane passes Emmy over to Maura cooing, ‘go see Mommy, Emmy. You always make her feel better.’ Maura happily accepts the girl and she does feel quite a bit better for holding their daughter. She smiles at the small girl staring up at her with inquisitive hazel eyes. Jane loops her arms around Maura’s waist and rests her chin on Maura’s shoulder. 

‘You two always make me feel better,’ Maura admits leaning against Jane. 

‘Good,’ Jane says, ‘that’s what we want.’ 

Maura is silent a moment longer, ‘I couldn’t imagine losing Emmy Jane. If someone told me she… if she… if we…’ Maura pauses sniffling, ‘I cannot imagine how hard it was for her.’ 

Jane squeezes Maura lightly, ‘me either.’ They sit in a somber sadness for a moment and then Jane presses a kiss to Maura’s shoulder and says, ‘but what would you do to get her back?’

‘Everything,’ Maura whispers, ‘anything. Whatever it took.’ 

‘Even if she was an angsty preteen or a rebellious teenager?’ Jane asks softly. 

‘Always,’ Maura replies, ‘if we lost her I wouldn’t stop until we got her back and it wouldn’t matter what age she is.’ 

‘Even if she was in her 30’s and becoming a mother herself?’ Jane asks tentatively. Maura doesn’t answer that and Jane doesn’t need her to. 

Maura lets herself take comfort in her little family a while longer, until Emmy starts fussing demanding to be moved. Jane takes the girl then and banishes Maura upstairs to get ready, stating that Maura needed more time than she did. Maura thinks Jane might be giving her an excuse to process and she’s grateful for it. 

Hope arrives just before 6 that evening, knocking softly at the door. Maura takes a steadying breath before opening it. ‘Hello Hope,’ Maura says with a smile. 

‘Maura dear,’ Hope says with a smile, ‘I didn’t want to knock in case Emmy was sleeping. You look lovely.’ Hope takes her daughter’s appearance in. Maura hadn’t been foolish enough to dress in her best clothes with an infant around but she had showered, done her hair and makeup. After four weeks of rushed showers and little to no personal care efforts in exchange for the care of an infant, the little things made a huge difference. 

‘Thank you. Jane’s showering and Emmy is indeed napping,’ Maura says with a smile as she lets her mother in, ‘please come in.’ Maura leads Hope to the kitchen. ‘I wanted to…’ Maura hesitates before continuing, ‘I wanted to continue our conversation from earlier. If that would be alright with you.’ 

‘Alright,’ Hope says sitting on a chair at the island. Maura notices as she crosses her leg, clutching her handbag a little closer. ‘I know you said that you wished me to be a grandmother and of course, I understand that comes with inherent boundaries. I am prepared to follow any and all rules you lay out. I just…’ Hope falters. Maura can hear the emotion in her voice as she continues in barely more than a whisper, ‘I don’t want to miss this part of your life or hers for that matter.’ 

Maura stares at her mother for a moment, processing. Maura isn’t good at displays of emotions. At least, not with people who aren’t Jane but she decides to try. She reaches out to take Hope’s hand. ‘I was actually going to say,’ Maura says softly, ‘I have a better idea… that is to say… I can relate more now to your… to our situation.’ Maura can tell by the politely excused expression on Hope’s face that she isn’t communicating clearly. Maura lets out a shaky breath and decides to start over, ‘if I thought I lost Emmy, Hope, I would be lost. I wouldn’t be able to recover. Until… before… I only understood what it was like from a child’s perspective. I couldn’t have known.’ 

‘Known what?’ Hope asks, her own emotions spilling over into a slight warble in her voice. 

‘How much it could hurt,’ Maura admits squeezing her mother’s fingers, ‘or how much you loved me. I don’t want you to hurt anymore. I don’t want you to ever miss out on the things you want to be a part of. I know Jane and I… we never told you explicitly but… we want you to be involved in Emmy’s life. As much as you want to be. I understand if it hurts too much or if it brings up old wounds. But I want you to know you’re wanted.’ 

‘Love,’ Hope says in a broken voice. 

‘What?’ Maura asks looking at her mother. 

‘You said you know how much I loved you,’ Hope speaks in barely more than a whisper, ‘but I never stopped. I have always and will always love you Maura. You’re my daughter.’ 

Maura blinks back sudden wetness. ‘I-‘ Maura whispers back, ‘I love you too. Mother.’ 

Hope squeezes Maura’s hand and offers a small water streaked silence. They’re saved from further waterworks by Emmy rousing. Maura gets the girl and brings her to Hope, placing the girl snuggly in her grandmother’s hands. Hope beams at the girl, making a soft humming sound that most humans made when conversing with an infant, ‘I do have one request, if you’ll humour me.’ 

‘Only if it’s actually funny,’ Jane retorts from behind Maura. Maura whirls to look at Jane and she looks gorgeous. Her hair isn’t pulled back into a ponytail or bun. It's left in its natural state of untamed curls. She’s wearing a black dress and Maura spots the glint of silver on her wrist. 

‘You look,’ Maura says, her brain blanking on a word strong enough so she starts over. ‘Jane you look….’ 

’The word you’re looking for is gorgeous,’ Hope whispers conspiratorially in Maura’s ear, loud enough to be heard. 

‘That. Yes,’ Maura says, eyes still taking in every inch of Jane. 

‘Thanks,’ Jane says blushing lightly, ‘I wanted to wear jeans but I’m not sure my body is ready for form fitting just yet. Less friction in uncomfortable places. Plus easy nursing access!’ 

Maura tries not to blush and think about other things that dress provides easy access for. Jane still had two more weeks before sex was even a consideration. It’s a heroic feat but Maura manages to pull it off. Eventually. When Jane redirects the attention, ’so you had a request.’ 

Hope’s eyes are crinkled in amusement, the barest hint of a grin playing on her face, ‘oh yes. Can I please be anything, _anything,_ other than granny?’ 

‘Damn Maur,’ Jane says teasingly, ‘now what are we gonna call her. We spent all that time training Emmy up and now we have to change it?’ 

Hope laughs, ‘can you say granny yet sweetie?’ She asks, nuzzling the girl's belly with her nose. ‘No?’ 

‘Strange,’ Jane says moving around the kitchen to pull out dishes for dinner, ‘she says it all the time when you aren’t around. Don’t you Emmy?’ 

‘All the time,’ Maura teases, ‘she just misses her granny so much.’ Hope blushes and to distract from herself, she tickles the baby again. 

‘What would you like to be called?’ Jane asks lightly, ‘my Ma is Nonna. Constance has already claimed Mémère. You could be Gam Gam or Gam Cracker.’ 

Hope laughs out loud at those names, wrinkling her nose and shaking her head with an obvious look of adoration for her granddaughter, ‘perhaps something less… ostentatious.’ 

‘Alright,’ Jane says easily, ‘that rules out Mimzy, Cha-cha, and ya-ya.’ 

There’s another laugh from Hope, ‘definitely.’ 

‘What about,’ Maura suggests shyly, ‘Bibi?’ 

‘Bibi?’ Jane asks. 

‘Swahili,’ Hope replies, a soft look on her face as she looked at her daughter. 

‘Oh,’ Jane says. For once she holds her tongue, letting Maura and Hope have whatever moment they needed to while she finished setting the table. 

‘I’d be honoured,’ Hope says at last, ‘to be this little girl’s Bibi.’ 

‘She’ll probably enjoy that it’s simple to say too,’ Maura adds shyly, ‘you might be the first grandmother name she says.’ 

‘Oooh,’ Jane says, ‘Ma’s gonna hate that.’ 

Maura laughs as she brings out dinner, ‘she should have chosen a simpler syntax. Short simple repetitive sounds are easier for babies to mimic.’ 

‘Maybe Nonna thinks Emmy will take after her mommy,’ Jane teases, ‘and she’ll be saying big words in no time.’ 

Maura blushes as Hope laughs, ‘I bet she’ll be very smart, just like both of her mothers.’ 

The rest of dinner passes easily. Jane nurses Emmy before handing the sleepy girl over to her Bibi for snuggles. Then Maura and Jane leave for dessert. Maura takes Jane to a little Italian bistro where they order cannoli and take turns sharing bites and laughing. Maura watches the candlelight flicker off Jane’s skin, reflecting in her eyes. Jane is beautiful. Gorgeous. Breathtaking. But she was also kind, loving, supportive. Jane was everything Maura had ever hoped for in a partner and so much more. Maura can’t believe how lucky she is. Awestruck, Maura reaches over and wipes some of the cream from the corner of Jane’s lips with her thumb, a plan already forming in her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left my loves!


	32. April ~ 6 Weeks Old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, y'all, in true muse fashion, the muses have decided that this story needs one more chapter to be truly complete so you all will be getting an epilogue in addition to this chapter. But that's it. (she tells herself in desperation)

Maura’s family leave ends roughly six weeks after Emmy is born and nearly four months after Jane’s accident. Maura offers to take an additional two months, knowing she had more than enough time to cover it. Jane refuses, telling Maura to save some time for their honeymoon. Maura’s too pleased with that thought to protest too much. At least, until the night before she returns to work.

‘Jane,’ Maura says, bouncing as she holds their six week old close, her cheek pressed to Emmy’s, ‘I’m not sure we’re ready. What if you need me? What if she needs me? What if you call and I’m in an autopsy and she’s running a fever and you can’t get ahold of me and-‘

Jane silences Maura with a quick peck on the lips. When they part Jane tucks a strand of Maura’s hair behind her ear, ‘of course we aren’t ready Maura. We’re never going to be ready. But you love your job. Remember?’

‘Not as much as I love Emmy,’ Maura replies grumpily, ‘or you for that matter.’

‘I know Maur, sweetie,’ Jane says patiently, ‘but think of the science. Think of the test tubes and the beakers and the microscopes.’

Maura pouts, ‘you’re teasing me.’

‘No,’ Jane says sarcastically, ‘listen sweetie. I’m going to miss you like crazy tomorrow. And Emmy is going to miss you even more. We’re going to be lost without Mommy.’ Maura whimpers slightly but Jane continues, ‘but this is part of doing life together. Eventually you and I both have to go to work. You just happen to be going back first.’

‘Technically,’ Maura whispers, ‘neither of us has to work Jane. I have more than enough. We could,’ Maura frowns, ‘we could…’

‘What?’ Jane asks voice full of rich amusement, ‘stay inside doing endless loads of laundry, living at the beck and call of our then very spoiled daughter?’ Maura pouts. Jane chuckles, ‘Maura it’s okay to have interests and purpose outside of Emmy. It’s okay to want to accomplish more in life than just being her mother.’

‘But I love being her mother,’ Maura whines pulling the girl away slightly to place kisses on the baby’s cheek, ‘it’s my favourite thing in the whole world.’

Jane smiles warmly at the pair of them before swatting Maura’s hip to get access to the dresser as she puts the folded laundry away, ‘and you will continue to be her Mommy even if you have to go to work tomorrow. You don’t have to choose Maura. You get to be both.’

Maura steps aside, still pouting, ‘but I’m going to miss you both so much.’

‘But you miss doing science too,’ Jane points out, ‘don’t pretend like you haven’t been dying to try out that new radiology equipment. You haven’t put the user manual down in the last two weeks.’

Maura frowns, Jane had a point but she still didn’t like it, ‘I feel like you are supposed to be on my side.’

Jane sighs setting down the socks she had just picked up. She puts her hands on either side of Maura’s face and brown eyes meet hazel, ‘I am always on your side Maura. Always. And if you really don’t want to go tomorrow then you don’t have to. If you come home tomorrow and decide it’s too soon or that you want to quit and be a stay at home mother, then I’m here for you. I’ll cheer you on every step of the way, okay sweetie? But I also know how much you love your work.’ Jane takes a breath, ‘you love the calm of the lab, you love puzzling through scientific quandaries with Chang and being able to create repeatable results. I know you love coming across biological mysteries that require the full extent of this giant brain of yours. I don’t want you to give up something you love just because we had a baby.’ Jane places a kiss on Maura’s forehead, ‘but no matter what you decide I am always, always, always on your side.’

Maura sighs, comforted for the moment, ‘thank you.’ Maura hesitates before adding, ‘I do miss the lab.’

‘I know you do,’ Jane chuckles, ‘now if we’re going to get you to work tomorrow, I need to finish putting the laundry away. Why don’t you finish getting Emmy ready for bed and I’ll finish up here. Okay?’

Maura sleeps in fits that night, her mind anxious for the next day, enough so that Jane rises before Maura. Taking the early morning shift with Emmy. Maura showers and dresses in professional attire for the first time in nearly four months. Her hands shake as she finishes her hair. Maura forgoes all but the most basic of makeup, nervous her shaking would only cause further issues. Maura goes down the stairs to find Jane making breakfast.

‘Hey,’ Jane says over her shoulder, ‘breakfast is almost ready.’

Maura finds Emmy in her bouncer, observing the world with what Maura thought of as her detective face. Maura blows raspberries in the girl’s belly and kisses her cheek good morning. ‘Good morning loves,’ Maura says.

‘How are you feeling?’ Jane asks.

‘Nervous,’ Maura replies, offering Emmy a finger to hold. The girl accepts the offering, squeezing and looking the finger over before trying to guide it to her mouth. Maura lets the girl gum her finger.

‘You’re gonna be great,’ Jane says with a smile, ‘and we’re gonna do great.’

‘You’re grotesquely optimistic this morning,’ Maura states grumpily, ‘how much coffee have you had?’

‘None,’ Jane retorts sticking her tongue out, ‘but one of us has to be.’

The statement stings, Maura’s eyes go instantly wet. ‘I’m sorry Jane, I don’t mean to be so miserable.’

Something in Maura’s voice must tell Jane she’s crossed the line because Jane abandons the pan. She pulls Maura into a hug, ‘you’re not miserable. You’re apprehensive. That’s normal. I’m sorry I teased you.’

Maura sniffles, burying her face in Jane’s shirt, inhaling the mixed smell of Jane and their daughter. It smelled like home. And spit up. Maura pulls away, her nose wrinkled in disgust, ‘you need to burn this shirt, I don’t think it will ever not smell of spit up again.’

Jane laughs, ‘that bad huh?’ Then in a move that leaves Maura’s eyes wide and mouth hanging, Jane pulls the shirt over her head, leaving her standing in her pyjama shorts and her nursing bra in the middle of the kitchen. Maura can’t help herself, she runs her hands over the newly revealed flesh of Jane’s stomach. It was softer than Maura had ever felt it before. Maura knows it’s only a matter of time until Jane had it back to a hardened plain. Maura knew Jane’s abs would do things to her but she also loved the softness of her post-birth belly. The gentle slope of it’s curves. Maura’s pretty sure there’s no bad look on Jane.

‘Did you take off your top to distract me?’ Maura asks softly, her mouth closing the distance between them to find the sensitive flesh of Jane’s collarbone.

‘ _You_ said my shirt smelled,’ Jane teases before adding, ‘is it working?’

‘Yes,’ Maura murmurs into soft skin.

‘Jesus!’ Angela exclaims, ‘Janie! Put your shirt on!’

Jane flinches, jumping away from Maura, ‘Ma!’ Maura chuckles, her own cheeks rosy from having been caught. ‘It got spit up on it. Okay?’

‘Spit up,’ Angela says, she moves through the kitchen, saving their breakfast from burning before coming to tease Emmy with a tickling finger, ‘did you spit up on your mama or is she just using you as an excuse?’

‘Can you?’ Jane asks Maura, trying to point to the breakfast while also covering herself from her mother’s glares. Maura stifles her laughter and nods. Jane disappears in a flash of scarlet cheeks and returns several minutes later dressed for the day.

The four of them eat breakfast together, Angela promising to be on hand to help Jane if she needs it. Maura feels some semblance of relief knowing that Jane would have help if she needed it. Maura feeds Emmy a bottle while Jane packs Maura a lunch. Then Jane pours Maura a steaming cup of coffee in a to-go mug. Maura kisses Jane and Emmy goodbye and heads to work, doing her best not to cry.

Jane and Emmy wave goodbye to Maura from the front porch. Jane uses Emmy’s hands to feign blowing kisses to Maura. They stay outside waving until Maura’s car turns off the street, disappearing from view. Jane carries Emmy inside, closing the door behind her, ‘well sport,’ Jane asks softly looking at her daughter, ‘now what?’ As if on cue, Emmy starts fussing. Jane knows exactly how she feels. Jane snuggles the girl a little closer and whispers, ‘I miss Mommy too but it’s only a couple of hours. We can do a couple of hours. Right kid?’ Emmy cries louder and Jane wonders if maybe they really weren’t ready for this.

‘We can’t call her this early,’ Jane tells Emmy, tears in her own eyes, ‘she hasn’t even been gone five minutes. Come on sport.’ Jane bounces Emmy the way she likes, her eyes searching for something to do, ‘how about we take Jo for a walk? Huh?’ Given the decibels of Emmy’s continuing cries, the girl was indifferent to the idea. Jo Friday, however, was spinning circles at Jane’s feet. ‘One outta two,’ Jane mutters to herself, ‘I’ll take it.’

Jane bundles Emmy in an appropriate amount of clothing for spring, throws her diaper bag in the bottom of the stroller, buttoning Emmy in. She leashes Jo and then Jane fights to get the whole getup out the front door. Jane’s sweating by the time they’re out. On the bright side, Emmy had quieted, content to be in her stroller. It would be the last bit of quiet Jane had that morning.

By lunch time, Jane is forced to call in reinforcements. Angela comes with her Nonna face firmly in place. Jane passes her screaming daughter off to Angela and sets her aching head down on her arms. Emmy is having none of it. She screams through Nonna snuggles, screams through Nonna tickles, screams through Nonna reading her books. Jane is grateful to just be able to eat lunch. She thanks her mother profusely when Angela hands the screaming girl back for her nursing.

‘It’ll get better,’ Angela says softly before scurrying away to the quiet sanctuary of the guest house. Emmy falls asleep nursing and Jane refuses to even breath loudly for fear of waking the monster. If Jane had any hope of the girl being in a better mood after some milk and a nap, it was crushed quickly. Emmy wakes wailing. Her tiny face scrunched and red.

‘Emmy,’ Jane murmurs as she tries bouncing the girl softly, ‘come on Emmy what is it? Why are you so mad? Huh? You got it good. You get to sleep when you want, poop when you want. You have unfettered access to boobs. What could possibly be so bad? Huh little girl?’

Emmy is saved from having to answer by Jane’s phone ringing. Maura was video calling her. Jane debates not answering it. Considers trying to save Maura for the wrath of the small demon child in her arms. In the end, the idea of seeing Maura’s face makes up Jane’s mind for her and perhaps, in some small part of her mind, Jane hoped Maura would just call it a day and come save her from their child’s lungs. Jane swipes to answer and speaks loudly enough to be heard over Emmy’s cries, ‘hey Maur!’

‘Aw,’ Maura says with a sympathetic smile, ‘someone having a hard day?’

‘Yeah she-‘ Jane stops watching as the girl's cries begin to fade.

‘She what?’ Maura asks, ‘Jane?’ The little girls face un-scrunches and her breathing begins to calm.

‘Well, I’ll be,’ Jane mutters under her breath, ‘Emmy did you miss Mommy? Is that what all the fuss is?Did you just want to see Mommy?’ Jane sits and shifts so Emmy is sitting, leaning really, against Jane’s chest and they both can see Maura on the phone. Maura’s hair is pulled back in a ponytail, she’s wearing her black scrubs and a big smile. She’s never looked more beautiful.

‘Hi baby,’ Maura says to the camera, ‘are you giving your mama a hard time? You little stinker.’ Maura scrunches her nose and moves her camera closer to her face. Emmy’s face breaks into a big grin.

‘Maura!’ Jane says staring at their daughter, ‘do you see? She’s smiling. You’re making her smile!’ 

‘I see!’ Maura says. She laughs and then makes that same face again. Emmy grins again.

Jane hits the record button, recording Emmy’s first intentional smiles. Maura manages to draw out a whole host of smiles from Emmy. Jane relaxes watching the pair of them ‘talk’.

When Emmy seems to lose interest Maura looks towards Jane, ‘was it a rough day?’

‘After you left, we went for a walk and she seemed to like that. But honestly? After that? Yeah. Nonna couldn’t even calm her down. I didn’t realise all she needed was to see you.’

Maura blushes lightly, ‘I’m glad I could help. I miss you two.’

‘I miss you too,’ Jane says softly, ‘I think we both do. Huh Emmy?’ Jane presses a kiss to their now perfectly content daughter’s head.

Maura smiles warmly at them before saying, ‘I can’t believe I made her smile. Her first smile.’

‘I can,’ Jane says with a grin, ‘I’m not in the least bit surprised. Mommy is our favourite person in the whole world, huh Em?’

Maura blushes and when she replies it’s in that soft gooey tone that Jane had ever heard her use with them, ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too,’ Jane says offering a big dimpled grin. Emmy offers Maura a garbled coo, making both of her mothers grin.

‘I should let you go,’ Maura says begrudgingly, ‘I just wanted to call and check in.’

‘Alright,’ Jane acquiesces before warning, ‘but if she starts screaming we’re calling you right back.’

Maura laughs, ‘if she starts crying again, I’ll call it a day and head home. I want to see my Emmy-Roo.’

‘Deal,’ Jane retorts, ‘say bye Emmy. Blow kisses.’ Jane blows Maura kisses before having the girl pantomime the same. Maura blows kisses back at them before hanging up. Jane rocks, holding Emmy like that a little longer. Jane grins into her daughter’s hair, ‘I don’t blame you for smiling at Mommy first. Mommy makes me smile too.’

Maura surprises them both thirty minutes later when she lets herself in the front door. She’s met with matching smiles from both of her girls and Maura wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also wanted to let you all know that this weekend is both mine and my SO's birthdays so you may not hear much from me for the next couple of days. Huzzah for birthdays! Sending you all my love! <3


	33. June ~ 12 weeks old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a birthday present to myself, I'm posting the FINAL chapter of Baby Rizzles for you guys! :) Love you all!

Maura Isles is not a simple woman but she is a woman who can appreciate the merits of a simple plan. Maura has a two step, foolproof, simple plan. Step one: ask her best friend to marry her. Step two: live happily ever after. And like any good planner, Maura has a plan to make her plan happen. It takes Maura nearly 6 weeks to get everything in place. To make reservations and arrangements, coordinating details and schedules.

It starts, as most things with Jane start, with baseball. Specifically a Red Sox game at Fenway on a Saturday. Maura had bought tickets for the entire family. Maura had wanted to purchase them a suite for the game but Jane had insisted that ‘Green Monster’ seats were the best in the park and Maura wanted to give Jane the best even if she isn’t entirely certain what made these seats green or monstrous. They would eat dinner at the game at Jane’s favourite concession stands, all of them. At some point, Maura would sneak away to the merchandise store where she had three custom jersey’s waiting in that classic Red Sox white and red. The game ending, however, was the best part. After the players and the audience had cleared out, when only the lights remained, Maura would bring Jane to the field. She would give Jane her new jersey and ask Jane to take her name. She didn’t have a ring, Jane never wanted one anyways, and Maura wouldn’t take a knee. But she knew the words ‘Rizzoli-Isles’ on the back would convey her meaning clearly enough. Maura would tell Jane that she loved her, that she wanted to be there for her for forever. Maura would promise to spend the rest of her life making Jane’s dreams come true. And then, standing at the home plate, Maura would ask Jane to come home with her as her fiancé. Maura was hardly even nervous. She didn’t need to be. Maura knew what Jane’s answer would be. This was about showing Jane what she meant to Maura and Maura knew that she had planned the perfect proposal for Jane. They would kiss under those lights, to the cheers of their family in the stands. After, Frankie, Tommy and Frost would bring out the bats and gloves and the Rizzoli-Isle’s family would have batting practice under the bright lights of Fenway Park. Maura spends most of the week before in a giddy haze. Making Jane’s wildest dreams come true made Maura happy in a way that nothing else could. It’s as close to a perfect plan as Maura has ever made.

Maura picks up Emmy from daycare on her way home on Friday night. The little girl is all smiles as Maura puts the sweet girl into her carseat. ‘Are you ready for our big weekend Emmy-Roo?’ Maura teases the girl, ‘you have to help me surprise Mama.’ Emmy grins up at Maura, her fingers grabbing at Maura’s loose hair, tugging. Maura can’t help herself. She grins back at Emmy.

Jane beats them home and has gotten a head start on dinner. Maura kisses Jane hello before passing Emmy over to be nursed while Maura finishes up dinner. Their first two weeks with both of them back at work had, thus far, been successful. Jane had returned to her work with gusto, even if it was only to desk duty for the moment. Jane had to be re-certified before returning to active duty. To Maura’s surprise, the detective had opted to take a leisurely reinstatement opposed to jumping right back in to it.

They eat dinner as a family, Emmy gumming one of Maura’s fingers as they ate. Then they have floor time, bath time and then bed time. Jane and Maura spend the rest of the evening snuggled together. Jane watches a sports program about the games coming this weekend. Maura curled into her side and tried to do some reading. Her mind kept wandering to tomorrow night. Tomorrow night they’d be curled up as fiancé’s. Maura couldn’t help the smile on her face.

Emmy squawks right around 10:30. Maura puts a hand on Jane’s shoulder, pushing her back onto the couch before offering a smile. ‘I’ve got her,’ Maura says pressing a kiss to Jane’s lips. Maura heads up to the stairs, Emmy’s cries growing louder. ‘Coming sweetheart,’ Maura calls, offering verbal reassurance to their daughter.

Maura turns on the light to the softest setting and walks over to the crib. Her daughter is coated in a wet pile of milky mush and very unhappy about it. Maura swoops the girl up and carries her to the changing table, ‘Emmy-Roo, what happened?’ Maura strips the girl out of her sleep sack and wet onesie. Maura frowns, Emmy’s body was hot. Too hot. ‘Jane?’ Maura speaks, trusting the baby monitor to convey her words, ‘could you bring me my medical bag please?’

Jane comes at a run, Maura’s bag in hand. ‘What is it?’ Jane asks before she’s even in the room, ‘what’s wrong? Is she okay?’

‘I think,’ Maura says digging through her bag for her thermometer, ‘she’s running a fever and she threw up.’ One quick digital reading later and Maura has her answer. A fever.A low grade one but a fever none the less. ‘Are you sick baby girl?’ Maura asks lightly. She uses wipes to wipe off the worst of the muck. When she’s clean and in a fresh diaper and onesie, Maura passes the girl to Jane for a nursing. Maura strips Emmy’s sheets quickly, replacing them with clean sheets.

Jane watches Emmy sympathetically, ‘poor girl.’ Jane brushes a tear from the little girl’s face. ‘I’m sorry you’re not feeling well baby.’With the sheets changed and the dirty clothes in the wash, Maura kneels by Jane’s knee and watches the little girl nurse. ‘What do we do Maur?’ Jane asks, her face open and full of fear, ‘how do we make her feel better?’

Maura puts a hand on Jane’s knee offering reassurances, ‘we can’t sweetie. All we can do is help her through it.’

Jane nods, ‘alright so what do we do?’

‘Right now,’ Maura says, ‘we keep an eye on her fever. We keep her hydrated and we wait and see.’

They sit in silence for a bit and when Emmy starts to fall asleep, Maura lifts her with all gentleness onto her shoulder to burp her. Maura pats the girl gently, humming softly as she does. ‘We should probably keep her upright for a while, in case she throws up again,’ Maura says softly, ‘I’ll take the first shift. Why don’t you go to bed?’ Maura doesn’t say the rest of what she’s thinking. That it was going to be a long weekend. That Jane was likely already infected. That they all were.

‘You sure?’ Jane asks, a little frown still on her face, ‘cause I don’t mind.’

Maura smiles and shakes her head, ‘yes I am sure. I’d like to monitor her fever anyways.’

Jane nods, rubbing sleepy eyes, ‘okay but wake me when you need to.’ Jane stands and presses a kiss to Maura’s lips and then a kiss to the back of Emmy’s head. She turns off the lights as Maura settles into the rocking chair.

Maura rocks with Emmy through the first part of the night, cradling the little girls body as she sleeps. Maura knows it is foolish to think she can ward off Emmy’s illness but she it doesn’t stop her from trying. If it meant holding the girl all night, Maura would do it. When Emmy wakes for her night feeding, Maura changes Emmy and takes her to Jane. Maura’s grateful that Jane, herself, mostly sleeps through the nursing. Rousing only enough to lift her shirt and letting Emmy do the rest of the work. Maura uses the restroom, washing her face and changing into pyjamas. Then she takes Emmy back to the nursery and the rocking chair. Maura rocks the girl until dawn when Jane comes and banishes Maura to bed. Maura goes but only after checking Emmy’s temperature again. Seeing it’s unchanged Maura accepts that her plans have to change.

Maura crawls into bed and texts her people. She tells them about Emmy’s fever and urges them to go ahead with the game and after game experience. She makes them promise to send pictures and asks Angela to pick up their jerseys. Then being both exhausted and disappointed, Maura slips into an uneasy nap. Maura wakes a few hours later to Emmy’s cries and pulls herself from bed. Maura can see it instantly on Jane’s face. She’s paler and her eyes are glazed. Maura checks Emmy’s temperature finding the fever still firmly in place. Then Maura checks Jane’s, confirming what her eyes can already see.

Maura gives Jane some Tylenol, a glass of water, and banishes her back to bed. For Emmy, Maura gives the girl a warm bath, hoping the water would help her cool off and feel better. Maura spends the weekend doctoring her girls back to health, she doesn’t even notice the Fenway bag that Angela had dropped off on the kitchen counter.Emmy’s fever breaks Saturday evening, almost 24 hours after it had started.

Maura’s own temperature starts to climb on Sunday and Maura barely notices. It isn’t until Jane’s fever breaks and Emmy is sound asleep Sunday evening that Maura feels the crash coming. She pops Tylenol, trying to delay the inevitable. Maura finds Jane in the kitchen, holding an infant white and red jersey in her hands and a dimpled grin on her farce.

‘This is adorable,’ Jane says holding it up for Maura to see.

Maura, head throbbing, can’t help but to smile back, ‘I thought she needed one.’ Maura wraps her arm around Jane’s waist, resting her heavy head between Jane’s shoulder blades.

Jane rubs Maura’s arms, ‘I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well baby.’

Maura smiles at the pet name, ‘it’s okay. I’m going to go to bed soon.’

Jane spins around wrapping her arms around Maura in one fell swoop. She kisses Maura’s head, ‘I’m also sorry we missed the game yesterday.'

‘That’s okay,’ Maura says sighing softly in Jane’s arms. ‘Did you want to open the rest of it?’

‘Can I?’ Jane asks, excitement in her voice.

Maura considers her answer. She thinks about Jane. She thinks about her plan. She thinks about Fenway and Green Monsters. She thinks about batting practice and their friends and family cheering. And then Maura thinks about those matching jersey’s with their family names on them. She thinks about how nice it is to have Jane taking care of her when she’s sick. She thinks about their small family and Maura decides she doesn’t want to wait for the perfect moment. She’d still give Jane one. She’d decided yesterday to rebook Fenway for a second excursion already but Maura didn’t want to wait to be officially family anymore. Maura wants to belong to Jane in mind, body, heart, _and_ name.

‘You may,’ Maura says softly, ‘but you have to promise to let me explain.’

‘Alright,’ Jane says in amusement.

‘And,’ Maura says catching Jane’s wrist before she opens the bag, ‘when people ask, you can’t tell them that I gave this to you when I was running a fever.’

Jane laughs and presses a kiss to Maura’s forehead, ‘I promise to lie through my teeth if anyone asks.’ Jane boops Maura’s nose, ‘just for you.’ Maura laughs smooshing herself closer into Jane’s embrace. She closes her eyes, resting her overheated eyeballs. She hears the rustle of the bag, the whisper of Jane’s fingers on the fabric, and then Maura hears the soft gasp from Jane’s lips. ‘Maur?’ Jane asks voice quivering. ‘Is this… what I think it is?’

‘It was,’ Maura says in affirmation, ‘I was going to propose at Fenway.’ Maura decides not to go into detail, saving something to surprise Jane with later.

‘Was?’ Jane asks.

Maura nods pulling away to look up in big brown eyes. ‘I was going to propose at Fenway. I had the perfect most Jane plan ever but then Emmy got sick and we had to take care of her. I had this big speech planned about how I wanted to make your wildest dreams come true. About how much I love you and want to make you happy.’

‘That sounds,’ Jane says her voice breaking, ‘that sounds really beautiful Maur. I’m sorry we spoiled it.’

‘You didn’t,’ Maura says quickly, ‘because I realised something very important this weekend.’

‘Oh?’ Jane asks raising an eyebrow at Maura, ‘and what’s that?’

Maura cups Jane’s cheek, her thumb smoothing the soft skin there, tracing lightly Jane’s dimple slightly, ‘I realised that as much as I want to make your dreams come true there’s something that I want even more than that.’

‘Oh yeah?’ Jane asks a warble in her tone as though she’s trying to go for teasing but can’t quite get there.

‘The thing I want more than anything is to be the one taking care of you in sickness and in health,’ Maura says softly. ‘I want to be your partner, your co-parent. I want to handle 2 am fevers and vomiting babies with you. I want to be the one trading naps and tylenol with you.’ Maura presses a kiss to Jane’s stunned lips. ‘I want the big stuff with you Jane. I want to make you happy. I want to make your dreams come true. But I really, really want the little things. The small things. The every day things. So marry me? Be my wife? Give me your everyday days?’

Jane chuckles, her eyes wet, ‘yes Maura. I’ll marry you. You can have every day. On one condition.’

Maura frowns, feeling confused and too hazy to tell if Jane is joking or not, ‘what’s that?’

‘You have to let me take care of you in sickness, right now,’ Jane says with another chuckle. Maura pouts but Jane gives her a quick kiss, ‘I can tell you aren’t feeling well baby. So let me be the doting fiancé, huh?’ Jane asks again.

Maura sighs liking that idea. She drops her head back to Jane’s chest, Jane’s strong hands begin rubbing her back, ‘I’m sorry it wasn’t the most romantic proposal.’

Jane laughs shaking her head, ‘you got my name embroidered on a sox jersey instead of getting me a ring Maura. It’s perfect. Something no one else would have done for me.’ Jane punctuates that statement with a kiss to Maura’s forehead. ‘Besides,’ Jane whispers into Maura’s hair, ‘you’re right. I want to be the one taking care of you too. I want everything with you Maura. Starting with some water and an early bed time.’

‘That sounds nice,’ Maura says, half-asleep on Jane’s chest.

‘I love you,’ Jane says softly kissing Maura’s head again, ‘now let’s get my fiancé to bed.’

Jane takes Maura to bed, tucking her in and kissing her forehead. She leaves tylenol and water at Maura’s bedside table. Then Jane goes back downstairs, laying out all three Jerseys. She grins as they lay side by side, pristine and beautiful looking. Jane’s eyes trace their seams, the curve of their numbers, and at last the elegant stitching of their last name: _Rizzoli-Isles._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to write you all a quick note of thanks to all of you lovely humans who have read, commented, kudosed and encouraged me! Writing for you wonderful souls has been such a lovely experience and I so appreciate you! I know many of you have asked about a sequel to this story and it is so so so tempting! Before I commit, however, I'd like to get further along in Counterparts, as I know that will be a beast, before I decide one way or another. There are also a few other Rizzles stories in the works so keep your eyes peeled! 
> 
> Thank you all for coming along for the ride! Love you beautiful souls!


	34. December ~ 30 weeks Alternative.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot I promised to post the alternative car wreck chapter! 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Car crash, panic, loss of consciousness. THIS IS NOT A HAPPY THING
> 
> This is not polished because it ultimately was unused.

Frost’s radio crackles, interrupting their conversation. ‘Victor 8-1-0, please confirm your location.’ 

Frost looks at Jane, his eyes widening in surprise. It was rare for dispatch to redirect emergencies to detectives. He grabs his radio, pressing the button on the side to speak back. ‘This is Victor 8-1-0. I’m at the corner of Parker and Ruggles.’ 

‘Rerouting to an officer involved vehicular accident off the corner of Parker and Tremont. You will be first on scene.’ 

‘Copy that,’ Frost replies, flipping on his lights and manoeuvring to make the left on Parker. Jane balances herself against the door, holding on as Frost takes off. Frost doesn’t take his eyes off the road as he drives down the middle of the street. ‘You know you’re going to have to stay in the car, right? You’re officially not allowed on scene.’ 

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Jane says in reassurance. Of course, that wouldn’t stop her from having her partners back. 

‘I’m serious Jane,’ Frost says, ‘You cannot get out of the car. Chances are I’m just going to be redirecting traffic.’ 

‘I know what it means to be a first responder to an accident Frost. I’ve been doing this longer than you’ve been an adult,’ Jane shoots back. It kills her to know that he’s right. 

‘Not my fault you’re ancient,’ Frost shoots back. His voice is full of good humour but Jane can see the stress on his face. Jane tries not to overthink it. Tries not to wonder which officer it is. What were the chances of Jane or Frost not knowing them when it happened mere blocks from BPD? 

‘What the?’ Frost asks as he approaches the scene. Jane scans quickly. Two vehicles obscuring most of the right hand lane on Tremont. Glass and metal fragments litter the scene. There are no civilians in the immediate vicinity and Jane can’t see either of the drivers. Jane feels her stomach drop. It was usually bad news when the drivers couldn’t exit the vehicle. ‘You see any department vehicles?’ Frost asks as he parks his vehicle in the middle of Parker, cutting off traffic .

Jane focuses on the cars for the first time. The first is a large white pick up. It’s spun out at an angle, the front left hand side smashed in as though it had veered into oncoming traffic. The second is a prius. A silver blue prius. Maura’s silver blue prius. 

Whatever Jane’s earlier plans were, they all fly out the window when she sees Maura’s entire car crumpled in on itself. She throws open the door, flying from Barry’s unmarked. ‘That’s Maura!’ Jane says in a way of explanation for her baffled partner. Then Jane is running. Time moves slower, the cement feels like quicksand, the distance doesn’t seem to shrink. Then Jane is there and slumped forward over the driver’s side airbag is Maura. Jane whimpers. There are scratches on Maura’s face, dribbling droplets of blood trickle down from her left eyebrow. Her eyes are closed and Jane is more afraid than she’s ever been in her life. Terrified she might not see those hazel eyes again. Jane pulls the handle, the door groans, shifts but remains closed. Jane tugs again, this time letting out a scream as she pulls. The door groans, the metal shifts and crumbles before giving way at last. 

‘Maura!’ Jane says, reaching gently to find a pulse. Jane doesn’t breathe until she feels that softly beating heart. ‘Maura,’ Jane says more loudly, trying to rouse her. ‘Maura, sweetie, you have to wake up.’ Jane knows she’s practically screaming now. 

‘Ja-‘ Maura moans softly. 

‘Yes!’ Jane says, ‘Maura, wake up. Come back to me sweetie!’ 

‘Jane!’ Frost calls pulling her attention away, ‘other drivers gone. How’s Maura?’ 

Jane turns her attention back to Maura, there’s a flutter of eyelids. ‘Maura?’ Jane asks slightly less loudly but no less urgently. A second groan pulls Jane’s eyes away from Maura and to the passenger seat. ‘Frost?’ Jane yells, pitching her voice to be heard, ‘Holiday’s in passenger!’ 

Frost comes running. He yanks the door with all his might, freeing the door from its hinges. He checks Nina’s pulse and nods when Jane gives him the look. ‘Ambulance is two minutes or less.’ Jane can hear the sirens of other squad cars approaching. Jane knows there’s protocol. Jane knows about triaging, setting up a perimeter, and clearing the scene. She’s done it a hundred times. And everything she knows feels absolutely useless as she kneels looking at Maura’s unconscious form. 

‘Maura,’ Jane tries again, hearing her own voice cracking with emotion, ‘sweetie. Honey. You have to wake up.’ Jane wants to touch her but is afraid of hurting her further. 

‘Jane?’ Maura groans, ‘what’s wrong?’ 

‘Oh thank God!’ Jane gasps, tears of relief pouring out of her eyes, ‘Maura come back to me.’ 

Maura moans, her eyes open, blinking once or twice, a groggy haze on her face, ‘what are we doing?’ 

‘You were in an accident sweetie,’ Jane murmurs softly, ‘can you move your fingers?’ 

‘Accident?’ Maura says as if taking stock. 

Jane reaches carefully in and takes Maura’s hands in her own, squeezing softly, ‘can you feel my hand?’ Maura squeezes back and Jane lets out another breath of relief. ‘That’s good Maur. Really good.’ 

‘Jane?’ Maura whimpers, ‘it hurts.’ 

‘I know sweetie,’ Jane says squeezing her hand, ‘we’re gonna get you outta there. Okay? Just hold my hand.’ 

Maura squeezes back, a soft trusting smile shining briefly through the grimace of pain on her face, ‘always.’ 

‘Over here,’ Frost yells signalling for the first EMT crew over. ‘Detective Nina Holiday, non-responsive but pulse and breathing steady. No allergies. O positive.’ The EMT’s drag a rattling gurney over. Frost moves so they can get to Nina, disappearing from Jane’s field of vision. 

‘Nina. Okay?’ Maura asks, her words slurring slightly. 

‘Yeah,’ Jane says, desperately hoping she isn’t lying, ‘the medics are with her now. Don’t you worry about her, okay?’ 

‘What do you have?’ an EMT says pulling up behind Jane with their own gurney. 

‘Doctor Maura Isles, unconscious on arrival, responsive now. She’s talking with slurred words and can move her fingers but I don’t know about her toes. Allergic to ibuprofen. Blood type O positive.’ Jane turns to look at the woman behind her. 

‘Were you involved, Ma’am?’ the EMT, looking down to Jane’s very pregnant belly. 

‘No,’ Jane says, ‘this is my-.’ Jane freezes. A hundred words fly through her mind. How to describe her relationship with Maura in a word? It’s fear that drives Jane to an answer, ‘this is my partner.’ Jane knows it’s a lie. Knows she’ll probably get in trouble. Knows that this could absolutely come back to bite her in the butt but Jane had to be sure that they wouldn’t take Maura away. Jane needed to be there. 

Maura squeezes her hand again drawing Jane’s attention. ‘Stay?’ Jane knows she’s made the right decision at that moment. 

‘Always,’ Jane says softly. Then she looks back at the EMT, ‘I’m staying with her. Where she goes, I go. And if you don’t like that I will handcuff myself to her. Do you understand?’ 

The woman raises her eyebrows, whether in surprise or disagreement Jane can’t tell. It doesn’t matter. It would take physically incapacitating Jane to keep her from Maura. The medic nods, ‘alright but I need access to the doctor now.’ 

Jane squeezes Maura’s hand and says, ‘I’ll be right here. Okay?’ 

‘Okay,’ Maura says her fingers loosening, her face full of trust as she looks at Jane. Like she was certain Jane had everything under control. Like she would take care of Maura and make everything okay. And Jane wants to. She wants to fix all of this but Jane is powerless to do anything more than stand nervously over the EMT’s shoulder while everyone else works around her. 

Maura seems to be becoming more lucid the longer the EMT works. She begins answering questions with more clarity and by the time they’ve managed to pry enough space to slide her free from the car, she has already diagnosed the worst of her own injuries. This proves to be problematic in that the first thing she does when freed from her side of the car is to push the EMT’s away and try to get to Nina.

Jane catches her, ‘hey, hey, hey wait Maura. She’s got people taking care of her. Right now, we need to take care of you.’ 

‘But I’m a doctor,’ Maura says her face wracked with guilt. 

Jane shakes her head, ‘yeah and right now you need to see a doctor not be one, so would you sit down?’ When that fails to get Maura to sit, Jane grabs a hand, puts it on her belly and uses the dirtiest trick she knows. ‘Maura, please, this baby needs their Mommy. Please. Sit down?’ 

Maura whimpers but nods her head. Jane guides Maura to sit again. ‘I’m sorry,’ Maura whispers, ‘I didn’t mean to scare you.’ She runs her hands softly over Jane’s belly, ‘I didn’t mean to scare either of you.’ 

‘It’s okay,’ Jane whispers, ‘as long as you’re safe. It’s okay.’ Jane puts her hands over the top of Maura’s pinning them into place. 

‘I’m okay,’ Maura whispers back looking up at Jane. Hazel eyes meet brown and Jane is awestruck. Right here. Her scraped hands holding Jane’s belly, her hair flying in every direction with shards of glass and metal in it, the skin on her nose ripped off, a cut on an eyebrow bleeding sluggishly. Jane had never loved Maura more then right now, her body littered with evidence that she could have been lost forever to Jane. 

‘Maura,’ Jane says, her voice thick, ‘I need to tell you something. Something big.’ Her belly flops nervously and the baby seems to sense Jane’s emotions too, pushing out at Maura. 

Maura presses a soft kiss to Jane’s belly, ‘hello you.’ Then she looks up at Jane and opens her mouth. 

‘Ma’am you need to lay back,’ the medic says, interrupting them. Maura gives Jane a sheepish smile before laying softly back. Jane supposed she owed Maura a better first I love you than in the middle of a traumatic accident but one thing was clearer now then it ever had been before. Jane had to tell Maura. She could lose Maura in the blink of an eye and Jane didn’t want to waste another minute not being together. If there was even the smallest chance that they could be more, Jane had to tell her. And, if Jane was honest with herself, Jane wasn’t sure she’d be able to hide it any longer. Not after this. 

The medics wheel Maura up the ambulance ramp but when Jane goes to follow the medic stops her, ‘ma’am it’s a liability to have you ride with us. You’ll have to follow us in your own vehicle.’ 

‘Jane?’ Maura calls looking out at her, fear written all over her face. 

Jane looks between the medic and Maura. She’s about two seconds from hitting the man standing between her and Maura when Frost taps her shoulder. ‘Let’s go. We’ll meet them there. Korsack has the scene.’ It’s all the distraction the EMT needs to close the door. Panic swells in Jane’s heart as she stares at the place Maura’s face had just been. 

Jane turns away quickly, heading back to Frost’s unmarked. She climbs in and closes the door with a snap. Frost hits the lights and follows hot on the wheels of the ambulance. Jane keeps her eyes trained on that bus, as though she could somehow protect Maura if she could just keep her eyes on it. 

‘Jane,’ Frost says, making Jane jump. ‘You okay?’ 

‘No,’ Jane retorts, all bark. Frost doesn’t rise to her bait. Jane bangs her arm against the window, ‘how the fuck did this happen?’ 

‘I don’t know,’ Frost replies, ‘looked like the pickup ran the light. Musta been late too for the doc to not have time to see it. Korsack said Nina called it in before she lost consciousness.’ 

‘Well it’s a good thing the other driver is dead,’ Jane says harshly, ‘otherwise I’d have to kill him myself for crashing into Maura.’ 

Frost nods, ‘sometimes bad things happen Jane. No rhyme. No reason.’ 

‘He coulda killed her Frost,’ Jane says, her voice tight with the effort to control her emotions. 

‘Yeah, he could’ve,’ Frost says sadly, ‘but he didn't. She's okay. She’s right there in that bus and you’re gonna be holding her hand again in just a few. I’ll get you back to her Jane. I promise.’ 

‘I don’t know what I would have done…’ Jane struggles to catch her breath, to form words, ‘Frost… if I lost her….’ 

‘I know,’ Frost says softly, ‘you love her. It would break you. But she’s okay, okay Jane. She’s okay.’ 

‘I don’t-‘ Jane struggles to put feelings to words, ‘she’s not just-. I love her Frost. I am in love with her.’ 

‘You just figuring that one out Rizzoli? And here I thought they said you were a detective,’ Barry flashes her his signature grin. 

Jane stares at the man. ‘I’m here trying to tell you that I’m in love with my best friend and you’re gonna pull that?’ 

Frost laughs, ’sorry. It’s just… you’ve been in love with her for forever and it has been actual torture to not tease you about it.’ 

Jane groans and rolls her eyes, secretly happy to be distracted by the teasing.

‘But seriously,’ Frost says as they make the turn into the hospital, ‘I ship it. You gotta make it happen.’ 

‘You ship it?’ Jane asks, ‘what the hell does that mean?’ 

‘It’s what us cool kids use to say we support it,’ Frost says cheekily. Jane blushes. Frost was the first person she had intentionally told about being in love with Maura, Jane didn’t count Nina because she was tricked into it. It was nice knowing he supported her. Supported them. ‘You’d be cute together,’ Frost says with a softer tone, ‘but one of you has to get your head outta your ass and make a move already. The only thing standing between you two and happily ever after, is you two.’ He parks the car behind the ambulance, dropping Jane off at the emergency bay. ‘Jane!’ Frost calls as she climbs out. 

Jane looks back, keeping one eye on Maura as they roll her down the ramp. ‘What Frost?’ 

‘Tell her.’ 

‘Sure, real romantic timing,’ Jane retorts. ‘Sorry you almost died just now but just so you know I am in love with you.’ 

Frost chuckles, ‘timing is a poor man’s excuse for not having guts or game Rizzoli.’ He flashes that boyish smile, all toothy and good natured.

‘You’re an asshole,’ Jane retorts, ‘and thanks.’ Then Jane jogs after Maura, catching up at the door to the hospital. As if sensing that she’s there, Maura holds out a hand for Jane to grab. ‘Hey,’ Jane says looking down at Maura, ‘sorry I had to leave you back there.’ 

Maura squeezes and turns back to talking to the doctor, already arguing over a diagnosis. Jane chuckles softly. That was her Maura. 

* * *

Maura slips quietly through the house. 

It had taken time to convince her doctors of her diagnosis: a severe concussion and some minor contusions and lacerations. Then time to run standard tests to ensure there was no internal bleeding, and yet more time to convince them that she was better off at home. It had taken that long plus several hours more to convince Jane of that. Jane had driven her home with all the care she’d give a newborn lamb. Maura had never seen Jane drive so slowly. Every turn, every stop was done with utmost gentleness, and after every bump Jane shoots concerned looks Maura’s way. When Maura wants to snap in annoyance, she reminds herself that Jane is just taking care of her. She takes Jane’s hand in her own, letting Jane hold it all the way home. Normally, Maura would insist on textbook driving form but tonight she just wanted to hold and be held. 

Jane spends the first hour or so fussing over Maura. Fetching her water, extra pillows, pain medication, her medical journals. Maura watched the woman’s energy wane. Watched exhaustion take over. Then she’d asked Jane to come lay with her. She knows her body can’t handle being used as a body pillow tonight but she still wants to have Jane close. Maura interlaces their fingers, pressing a kiss to the top of Jane’s knuckles. They lay like that, in semi-darkness, hand in hand. Some things, Maura thinks, are too big for words. Processing today was one of them. When Jane finally slips into sleep, Maura slips away. 

She slips quietly from the master bedroom Jo Friday at her heels. She walks softly down the darkened hallway. She turns the knob to the nursery and slips quietly inside. Dawn is coming, the room lit a soft gray which plays out in the muted nursery colours. Maura runs a hand over the changing table. She lets her hand slide along the railing of the crib. Then she sits down in the rocker. 

Maura can hardly believe it’s all still here. All real. There was a moment, as she saw the flash of that white truck barreling toward her and her brain made the near instantaneous calculation that she would not be able to stop in time, that Maura had thought she had lost it all. She had seen this room, bathed in sunlight and filled with laughter. She saw dark curls and amber eyes laying in that crib reaching up for her. She saw dark hair and amber eyes, just like their Mama’s laughing with rosy cheeks. And as that metal had crunched, crumpling under the physics of momentum, Maura had seen Jane, dimples on full display, her eyes alight as she looked at Maura, a little round bundle cooing in her arms and Maura had never wanted anything more. Maura wanted to have their baby. She wanted to be a Mommy to the most beautiful child in the world. She wanted to fill this room with laughter and lullabies. But more than that, Maura wanted Jane. She wanted to be Jane’s. She wanted to tell Jane every day that she loved her. That she was beautiful. That she was there for her. Maura wanted the privilege of loving Jane every day for the rest of her life. 

Tears slip out, the salt stinging the cuts on Maura’s face. She wipes them away, careful of the bruising. Maura’s so lost in the moment she doesn’t hear the soft shuffling footsteps of a very pregnant Jane. It’s Jo’s yip that brings Maura back to awareness. Jane sinks slowly to her knees in front of Maura. 

‘Hey,’ Jane whispers softly, ‘you okay?’ 

Maura smiles a shaky smile, ‘I am now that you are here.’ 

Jane lets out a soft laugh, ‘what’re you doing in here?’ 

‘I could not sleep,’ Maura says sadly, ‘this afternoon… when…’ Maura takes a shuddering breath. ‘My mind projected an image of what the baby could look like. Wild, dark curls, and the warmest brown eyes I’ve ever seen. Just like their Mama.’ 

Jane nods, ‘seeing your loved ones is common when you’re… in danger.’ Jane struggles to finish her sentence as though the very implication of Maura being in danger distressed her. 

‘I saw you too,’ Maura admits in a whisper. ‘I saw you holding them, smiling at me.’ Jane smiles at her then, her dimples on full display. ‘Jane,’Maura whispers, ‘I thought I knew what I wanted when I asked you to move in. I thought all I wanted was to be your support.’ Jane’s smile flickers, her eyes flick over Maura’s features trying to get a read on what was happening. ‘I was wrong,’ Maura says softly. Jane flinches, moves to pull away but Maura catches her, placing a hand on Jane’s cheek. It’s tender. More intimate then Maura would ever allow normally. ‘Listen to me Jane, please.’ Jane leans into her palm, her eyes squeezed closed. Maura isn’t sure what’s running through her mind at that moment. Resignation? Acceptance? Desire? Maura really hopes that it’s closer to the last than the first. ‘Jane,’ Maura hesitates, tries to find words strong enough to convey her feelings for Jane. At last she decides, simple and clear is best. 

‘I love you,’ Maura says, only it isn’t just Maura’s voice speaking. Jane says it too. Her gravelled voice was soft and full of emotion. 

Jane’s eyes pop open, the dawn light illuminating the white of her eyes. Maura smiles, heart soaring. ‘I am in love with you Jane Rizzoli,’ Maura says softly. ‘I have loved you for so long and I want to do so much more than just support you. I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you.’ 

‘Maura,’ Jane whispers. Maura feels the first tears on her hand. Maura wipes them away full of tenderness. ‘I thought I lost you today,’ Jane whispers. ‘I’ve never been more afraid in my life. I don’t want to…’ Jane shakes her head, chuckling at herself, ‘I can’t do this without you. And I don’t mean pregnancy or parenting. I mean life. I can’t. I love you so much. You’re so much more than a best friend or a co-parent Maura. You’re… it for me Maura. You’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Okay?’ Jane asks it rhetorically but before she can ramble on Maura interrupts her. 

‘Okay,’ Maura whispers immediately, bringing their lips together softly. Jane’s lips are soft and taste like tears. She brushes her thumb tenderly across Jane’s face. Jane rises, pushing up to meet Maura more firmly in the middle. Jane’s left hand cusps Maura’s neck ever so gently, holding Maura in place, careful not to hurt her. Maura never had a better first kiss. It isn’t quite chaste, there’s desperate unbridled desire chomping at the bits to be released, but more than that, it’s intimate. Like they’d done this a thousand times before. The way Jane moves against her, like she’s reading Maura’s mind. It’s like finally coming home, Maura realises. She’s exactly where she’s meant to be: loving Jane Rizzoli. 


End file.
